I was on the prowl this a.m. and made my first stop by calling a lady I have been trying to get reacquainted with.  I ended up instead talking with her on the phone for probably 1.5 hours just catching up, laughing, and having a very friendly conversation. All day long I was thinking what a great lady and appreciated so much her honesty and insight.  It made me realize that I have also desires as well as a specific needs. The only thing I have been accomplishing is meeting specific needs but yet still feeling left empty at the end of the day.  One of the comments I had made on a thread a while back is how much I valued the ability to communicate (talk) with a gal and sincerity are home runs items.  Bottom line is that a community such as this is purely based on fantasy and certain needs. Both come and go easily.  So, the conversation was a good thing and made me refelect on the way how I would like to live my life rather than through a fantasy and specific needs.  Every lady I have met on here has been kind and nice to me.  Thank you.
I will probably post from time-to-time but am done with seeing the ladies.  I no longer will have VIP so I won't be able to get an mail from here.
Thanks to the very sweet, beautiful lady who genuinely gave me over an hour of time on the phone to me......I do hope to see you for lunch or something as my way of saying thank you.

-- Modified on 6/20/2006 8:04:36 PM

Interesting post.  What is wrong with fantasy? You'll be back.  We all "retire" from time to time..... but we all seem to come back! The allure of "no strings attached" sex is strong.  The urge will return my friend....

while I missed meeting you I applaud you for your decision.  While the hobby is always available what you describe is not always available.  Wish you well and know we will be here if you decide to return.  Good luck to you on your new journey

Jack

nothing wrong with fantasy given the parameters of a defintion and the one I am referring to is found in Miraim's says..."the power or process of creating especially unrealistic or improbable mental images in response to psychological need (an object of fantasy); also : a mental image or a series of mental images (as a daydream) so created (sexual fantasies of adolescence)"  

As I said, in this community you will find women as purely objects of fantasy that fulfill a pshycological need. You substantiate my claim by your comment "The allure of "no strings attached" sex is strong". Some ladies are better than others at embellishing this fantasy and all I am saying is that at the end of the day, it has left me empty wanting something more than just a mere object of my physical desire. I came to this realization finally today.  The only thing that "no strings attached sex" can accomplish in the long run is a caullosed heart for most and that is something I am not interested in.
I was a hobbyist in this community about 5 years ago and I met a lady (not a provider)  who I fell in love with and left TER without any regrets. In fact I was dissapointed that I forgot what my password was to my TER alias at that time. Unfortunately the relationship didn't work out and yes I returned, but this time it is the desire of a meaningful relationship and as long as I let in to my psychological needs in a fantasy environment, I will never obtain what I am truly desiring.  No sir, I will not be returning this time.


-- Modified on 6/20/2006 9:51:11 PM

Sorry I was never able to meet any of your ladies. I understand and have heard that both you and Dan are real stand up guys that run the best ship around.

I'll miss your voice of reason, and your wit.  I know there are a lot of ladies who will miss your kindness (not to mention the fact that they all thought of you as good looking...I thought they didn't care about that stuff!)

Best wishes.

That I would like to  remain a friend.Dinner,talking,or a movie..If you want stay in touch for you are one of the nicest guys and I wish you the best love.

I know it takes courage to go back into the "dating market" and play those games but I hope you are one of the lucky ones and find that special lady.  I wish you only the best but I am sorry we will not have the opportunity to meet but who knows maybe one night while out in a restuarant you will look over and a blonde will give you a smile and wink...and who knows it could be me

Again, I hope that all your hopes and dreams come true!

Misty

It has been a pleasure knowing you and you have the best of life ahead of you. I have been around many years and have seen many move on it is a good thing and the best awaits you my friend Good Luck and God Bless !!

Rose

The point of life is to be happy. But you first have to figure out what makes you happy. It sounds like the hobby is not filling an emptiness you need filled. I applaud your self realization and wish you luck in your pursuit of what will hopefully lead to your own happiness..
As for me, well I'm having too much fun and I really don't know if I CAN stop this.. scary
Take care,
--p#3 a.k.a Ben

-- Modified on 6/21/2006 12:30:22 AM

i totally understand were your coming from...it is based on fantasy and specific needs..i doubt you will find that one "special someone" here.the reality of it is thats not "on the menu".sometimes it takes awile to figure that out..i give you credit for moving on and i wish you the best..^5 dude

I was so hopeing we could finally get together.  You seem like such an awesome guy and everyone says so as well.  I wish you wood have tried just one more time and you might have a different opinion after some real true sweetness.  

I understand your plight.  I was actually thinking the same thing lately.  One of the hardest things in life is to find that perfect mate and NOT settle for less.  Sometimes we have to search high and low and strange places to find them.  Usually they pop up when you least expect or desire it anymore.   Most of the time...people settle for less or don't plan ahead...like 30 or 40 years.   Most of the time people change too.  There is so much work at finding and keeping that special one...you could spend a lifetime or 2 or 3 searching.  Now let's add life and death too...nothing in life is guarenteed or FREE.  This is what I found to be true so far.

I am not tryin to depress or discourage you at all.  I believe that the first step in finding true love and perfect mate...is to know and love yourself FIRST.  You can only SHARE your happiness with another...not MAKE someone happy.  Once you reach this point you send out a signal to the universe that you are happy and truely WORTHY!!!

WATCH what happens after that.  I sense through all your fun and explorations you are now ready for MORE...which is awesome...now your search begins.  I hope the love gods shine brightly on you so your true love may find you FAST!!!

I believe there are QUALITY people in all walks of life...you just gotta look and not settle for less.  You never know WHEN or WHERE love is gonna getch ya.  So have a lot of FUN trying in the mean time.

If you should need a friend or some friendly advice, you can always call.  I meant everything I said to you on the phone and anyone I talk to for that matter.  I love the DRIVE-IN movie theater's. hint hint I want you to feel comfortable to call and know that some of us single gals do actually DATE for REAL and not just FANTASY.  Some of us can be TRUE friends as well as true lovers, again you must search for them.

MAN I would love to retire too.  True love and total happiness sounds awesome,  let me know when you find it please. Then of course there needs to be a stable income too.   LOVE alone does not pay the bills.  I believe we all want true love, happiness and success.   It is all about the JOURNEY!!!

In the mean time, you have made some great friends and connections here, I am sure you will know who and where to go if you should have the NEED.

GOD BLESS and GOOD LUCK with ALL your desires.

Your friend,

CANDY
xoxox

-- Modified on 6/21/2006 10:08:18 AM

Best of luck blue.  I found it interesting that you beat me up a little with my message of retirement- and hence you are doing the same. But maybe my message was not as luminous as yours. We all go though journeys in life and sounds like you came to a fork in the road as I did, and took another path.  

Candy- that was a sweet message- very heartfelt and touching.  

Back to my lurking- lol

Good Luck to you.
Don't know what I did (couldn't have did anything we saw each other) so what ever I said, would have been nice to know, so I could have at least appoligized, but your posts will be missed...

Take care, Terri

Thanks OC.  I enjoyed meeting you that one evening.  You are an intelligent man and I appreciate your intellect.  I probably will throw in a post from time to time or make comments.  I feel that I have made a few friends and am not walking away from that.  I will miss the ladies and their kindness and they were no doubt all good looking....I am a humble guy so if they appreciated my appearance then I guess that was the kicker.
Peace

you're a sweetheart....that was me yelling Jordan Kay at the club the other evening  

Thank you!,...if I am out at a restuarant and a blonde lady smiles and winks at me, be sure that I will be smiling back and winking right back too....unless of course I was in the company of the resturant with a blonde lady and another blonde lady had winked and smiled at me, I would probably just blush.

thanks Rose, you are a kind lady and much respected in this community.

-- Modified on 6/21/2006 6:49:33 PM

Thanks! yes, you're right on. I was afraid that I may be having too much fun and not stop...
Peace

Thanks R50...yes, I had to learn that this is not a dating website...in the full sense.  It is a dating website if you want a date for an hour or two but in the long run, since I am still a fairly young guy,  I didn't want to get stuck in a cyclical expensive rut. ^5 back at ya.
Peace

Candy, thanks for such an honest heart felt post! Sorry we never connected.  I know we tried a few times.  I reread your post several times..I am impresssed and speechless by your sincerity.  I was contemplating a "retirement party"....drive-ins are fun but may be a little too hot out right now, unless you don't care about sweating.  You seem like a real doll....check your email.

you didn't really do anything to me. I think you made a comment on a post from a long time ago that is not worth bringing up again...I hate digging up bones, especially trivial ones.  No need for you to apologize to me for anything, in fact, I apologize to you for the "Mother Hen" comments.  Sometimes the smart ass in me can fly pretty quickly but I meant it as funny, not rude and if I hurt your feelings by it, I am sorry.

I will be lurking and posting from time to time....just hanging it up with the ladies.
Peace

I tell you what.  Before throwing in the towel, go see Sarah on Phoenix411.  If you feel the same way, God bless and good luck for the future !

I met Sarah a while back and had a very memorable time with her.

no sir, I didn't beat you up....you actually got me thinking about it....I thought your retirement message was one about shifting blame....looking back, I interpreted wrong, my apologies. Besides, this is an expensive hobby and I rather buy a boat.  

thanks ice- if there is one thing I will say about myself, is I don't blame others for my flaws- lol.


It looks like you will be missed by many.  That speaks volumes in itself.  

Sarah,
Your message to him was one of the loveliest things I've ever read on this board.  It was really insipiring, thoughtful, and kind.  That was a beautiful piece of work.  Thanks for letting the rest of us read it.

Great words, great advice.

(thanks, by the way)

Wise and passionate words, from a wise and (I am told)a passionate woman!!!

To the Iceman, I only wish you all the best!  Unlike the cynical, "we all come back" crowd, I hope you find what you want, and never see another escort.  It is obvious that their are many fantastic ladies (fantastic defined by there humanity, not their looks, or skills), who share the wish!!!

inspiring and thoughtful..your the best..

Excellent post... Someone give me a link so I can see this girl....

I am not in any way casting a negative opinion on the way certain needs are met through this type of forum, but I am wanting more as you pointed out.  I reallly couldn't have summed up my thoughts any better than as you stated.

Thank you for your touching remarks, insight and personal connection to my thoughts on the matter. It has made me reflect even more and internalize that I am making the right choice for me.

Now, time to reread your post  =)

for your kind thoughts and well wishes.  I have truly enjoyed meeting all the wonderful ladies who I have met.  I feel that I have made friends with some of the ladies on here and I understand that your time is valuable however, I may be sending you an email from time to time to say hi.

I may not be visiting the ladies anymore, but one has to take baby steps....so, I am now going to be a lurking in the shadows and will throw in a post from time to time or perhaps make a comment here and there.
Peace

-- Modified on 6/22/2006 10:18:17 PM

this sea of humanity- always searching and searching for what is going to fill the void. Just when we think we've defined what is going to bring us happiness - we find that the emptiness is still there. Is it that we are allways looking for outside sources when happiness is within each one of us- innate? This place deals primarily on a primitive level. It's fun to play here but not stay here to try to meet all of your needs. Blessings to you on your journey.