When you write a review, is it based on your experience or based on not wanting to hurt someone's feelings?  A recent experience has left me a bit sour on the "hobby", to the point that I have contemplated taking a break.

I realize that everyone is going to have a different experience with a provider.  Sometimes there just isn't a connection.  Sometimes the provider is having an off day. But when the experience is so different from what has been advertised, and the reviews don't resemble your experience in any way, it makes me wonder if people are being honest.

Makes me a little gun shy to jump back in the pool.  Has anyone else felt this way?   Just looking for a little love!

I think what you should do is to contact the provider and tell her you were unsatisfied and you would give her a chance by either agreeing to a refund or another makeup session without charge to get the service you want.  If she doesn't agree then you can write the bad review to let others know to avoid her.

So what specifically did you not like?  Was the time cut short or was she using fake pics?  Usually if they are using fake pics or they do not give you the full time they are not interested in giving you either a refund or a free makeup session so you might as well write the bad review asap to save everyone else.

Granted, everyone has a day off.  
9's and 10's don't always turn out what we expect.  
I try not to post a review unless there is a couple of visits on my part or the experience is similar to the rest of the crowd.  I have good days and bad ones.  

I've walked away for a bit.  

Nobody cares what we think unless $$$ changes hands.

Sometime you have to step away from the hobby!
I left for a while and now I'm back.
But I hope you stay around luvie and have a better experience next time.  

Mickey xoxo

Hey Shyguy,

First, let me say that I, for one as a noob, have appreciated and benefited from your honest, insightful, detailed reviews. We have seen a couple of the same providers and there are a few more you have reviewed on my favorites list.  

I think I'm in a similar situation right now. I saw a provider nearly two weeks ago and still have not submitted a review. By far the longest I have gone without getting it in.  To be honest, we just didn't connect, as you sort of said here. I think she's sweet and tries hard but we just didn't have the chemistry and I haven't decided what exactly to say. I wrote up a review that details all the reasons I think we didn't really connect but I think it's rambling and nobody would read it all. Also, I don't want to hurt her feelings or her business.  On the other hand, I wrote glowing reviews of the first few providers I saw, when I was new to the hobby, when I thought this just is what you get in P4P, that I wish I could have back.  Not because they are "bad" providers and now I don't like them, but because it isn't fair to the better providers I've seen since them and can't rate any higher, even though they deserve it.

You acknowledge that a provider, like anyone else, can have a bad day. You acknowledge that nobody has perfect chemistry with everyone. I have the feeling you realize that imperfect chemistry COULD be her problem as much as yours.  I think all that adds up to this: you empathize with the providers and if you write a review that you feel is honest, it will also be fair in the grand scheme.

This place was started to help and benefit the hobbyists, not necessarily the providers. I have had the same dilemma: "I don't want her to read this and get her feelings hurt". But, if you aren't honest, you aren't being fair to the other hobbyists or the good providers!

If you think she tries and is safe and sweet, but you just didn't connect then say so. If you don't think she much cared, then say that. Either way, I think the hobbyists and the providers who really try to bring it will appreciate it.  

Also, I don't know who you had this not so great experience with, but one not great or even negative review won't make or break her.  I've got a provider who's been in my favorites for some time. I like her ad and her website, and she has a few but not a whole lot of good reviews so I've known I want to see her but because she's WAY across town and somewhat limited availability, it hasn't happened yet. The other day a new review popped up for her and it isn't good. It gave me cause for pause, but I thought what's one guy. Maybe she didn't like him. Every provider I've seen has told me I'm very sweet and asked me to come back so I probably won't have a problem with her. Still, the negative review bugged me a bit. Then she got yet another great review and I know I'll see her eventually.  My point is that one negative review won't end her, and if it will, she probably needs to find a new career anyway.  

Also, you're obviously a fair and conscientious guy, as conscientious hobbyists, we will take your review and her others and whatever other research we turned up and make a decision. We will appreciate your honesty and, I suspect, so will the quality providers. The fact you are worried about hurt feelings/fairness says a lot about yourself and your reviews. I just think honesty is the best policy here. I don't think that coming from you that honesty will give an inappropriately dim view of the provider.

Good luck in deciding what to say! Like I said, I'm in a similar boat. Hopefully this helped. Also, don't quit!! We all sometimes need a break from what we are doing, and that is natural.  But don't let one negative experience push you out completely, please. A short break for perspective is one thing, but don't quit.

So yeah, others have felt this way.  Feel the love. Go see your tried and true, favorite ladies for a while before you try anybody new and you will feel better.

I can say that sometimes my feelings do get hurt when reading reviews, but I definitely read them and see what I can take from those reviews. I try to see where I can better myself. Let's face it, there's no way to be a perfect provider, just like there's no perfect way to be a client. Everybody has off days, and not everybody can be pleased. I don't always connect with everybody, but I try my hardest. I've had people write reviews and say how great everything else was, but I'm just too sweet for them. I've had guys say everything was great, but they didn't feel like I was allowing them to connect with me... I feel like it can go so much deeper than just saying I had a good time with her and here are the reasons, or I had a bad time with her and here are the reasons. You can definitely say you had a so-so time with her, rate her as such, and explain why. If it's rambling, who cares? If people want to skip over it and not read it, that's their decision. But, you may get a few people who do want to read it & you may save them from a similar situation.

Sending lots of love your way, don't let this get you down!!

I don't see the need to write a review if the provider and the hobbyist didn't connect. I'm sure all ladies try their best to make their client happy and if it didn't work out, well it didn't work out. I've had appointments myself where I knew we weren't clicking but there was nothing I could do.

 Who knows, she may have been having an off day.
I think people can get very picky given the amount of ladies available for services.

You know, I see the point you're making and i agree with you. I really try not to be one of those really picky guys, and I don't think i am. With the provider I saw and didn't connect with, I wasn't going to write a harsh, bad review. I would've said stuff like she's gorgeous and safe and sweet and tries like hell to make you leave happy.... But to then say we really didn't have any chemistry and it wasn't a great time; that's just gonna confuse people, even though all of that is true. That's why I've been hesitant to submit that review and I'm glad I didn't because now I really think you're right to say: Hey, you both tried, you didn't connect, nobody alive always connects with everyone, why write a review?

I have a strong feeling things would be much better on a second visit, and I'm tempted to find out. I won't review her unless/until I see her again and it's better. Thanks Callofbooty.

I'd say same goes with your own appointments you mentioned. I'm sure your client(s) sensed you weren't connecting, but I'm sure they also sensed you were trying and realized, as you did, there was nothing you could do about it. They should probably leave it be and not review you.

However, I don't agree with the thought that ALL the ladies out there try their best. In the OP's situation, he was fairly vague, but it sounds like a case where the provider simply was not as advertised and made no effort to be. If that is the case, then, as a hobbyist, I'd like to see that review get written. He doesn't have to be harsh about it and should also include anything positive he saw/experienced in the session. Information like that is a big part of why we're all here.

Shyazguy, I feel like I hijacked your thread and that really makes me an asshole. Do you want to give more details about the session you had? You wouldn't have to name her obviously. To get back to one of your original questions, do some people exaggerate in their reviews to spare feelings and score brownie points with providers? Yeah, I think that happens. Nothing I see to do about it. Maybe that's what happened with the lady you saw and maybe you caught her at a really bad time and she was trying to be professional by not cancelling on you. Read her reviews again, look at the other reviews by her reviewers, and go with your gut.

Appreciate everyone's thoughts and feedback.  As I stated, I am not looking to place blame on the provider.  It could have been a variety of circumstances.  There were signs upon the initial greeting that raised some flags.  Perhaps I should have just walked out before we began, but I think that is rude.  If you make a commitment I believe that you honor that commitment.  I gave it a go, but it was not as advertised or reviewed.  I cut my loses, told her that it was me and not her, thanked her for making the time, I cleaned up and left.  I left disappointed and unsatisfied; hence, the rant.

I am the first person to give the benefit of the doubt.  It is what it is.  Unfortunately, within the last 12 mos I have had a string of experiences that were unfulfilling.  I do my research and am diligent to ask questions.  I am looking for a GFE, but they have not turned out that way.  It is like walking into a fine restaurant expecting an exquisite meal and they serve you grilled cheese and a bag of chips.  Then you are handed a bill that is not commensurate with what you are expecting.  It is not a function of the price.  It is that you didn't get what you paid for.  

Thanks again for your input.

Although it's p4p, there are still two people (at least!) involved.  Sometimes people just don't click.  

I know that I have a hard time clicking with lots of people.  I get along, and enjoy the time, but rarely ever click in a way that makes me completely comfortable.

END OF MESSAGE

Don't hate on grilled cheese that's good shit

Just tell the truth. Write the review. Be honest and tell why.  

In the real world what motivates people to be better at their jobs is a bad review.

To the hookers. If you consistently get bad reviews then "you need to get better at your job". If you get an occasional bad review brush it off.

ain't no love in this business... just lust and good times.

so if you didn't get the good times that were advertised, i say write an honest, but not mean, review, saying as much.

i have read reviews that have said the client was surprised and confused that other reviewers rated the provider in question so highly... you should definitely say that in your review.

imo though don't go out of your way to be mean or dismissive of the lady. you yourself pointed out it could be chemistry or an off day for her.  

but i think you owe it to yourself, to her and to the hobbying community at large to be truthful in your review.

as to jumping back into the pool, i'd suggest going back to a provider that you've seen before that gave you a good time.  that will ease you back into the swing of things.

good luck and stay safe!

ps i see by your reviews you have seen some of the best talent in phoenix... surely one of those ladies could help you find your love of the hobby again...

don't be harsh, be as honest as you and the op are in your posts.  but the magic letters are 'YMMV' which very diplomatically puts the problem into neutral territory.  "hey, it didn't work for me, but not because the lady did anything that was bad... it's just the way it goes.  you other guys could very well have a whole different experience."

Your Mileage May Vary.  works wonders.

i totally get the restaurant metaphor, i use it all the time for hobby experiences.

to me it's like you could go to denny's, or carrow's, or marie callendar's, or the cheese cake factory... all the way up through ruth chris' steak house to the four seasons.

but with each you know the atmosphere, the level of service, the amount of attention put into food preparation, etc etc.

what you don't want to do is go to the four seasons and get denny's food and carrow's service.... and still get the four seasons check at the end!

such it can be with providers.

as a reviewer/client, when i look at a lady's ter page and see a list of reviews, i usually discount the lowest numbers as one of "ymmv" or the guy had a bug up his butt that day (of course some people pay extra for that lol).

a woman's median score is what i concentrate on.