(Jesus-God, I hate those 2 terms) actually fall in love?  I mean real love, not just infatuation or sexual desire?  Dunno why, but I just got to wondering about that today.

So ladies, ever fall for a client, and if so, what, if anything, came of it?  And laddies, same question, and did you do anything about it.  As an extra question for the guys, if something did come of your feelings for the lady, were you able to get over the hurdle of what she did/does for a living?

For the record, I haven't, but there have been 2 ladies that I felt and still feel a very special bond with.  I guess I'd consider them friends, but I'm sure if circumstances warranted, something deeper could transpire.  And look, I'm no kid...just turned 61...so this isn't a question being asked by some star-struck neophyte.  Just a sincere question that I'd love to see some honest commentary on.

Frankie

...so maybe it wasn't such a thought provoking question afterall :>)

any two people, on any given day can and do fall in love. I'm sure that it has happened between providers and hobbyists, and I'm equally sure that some have lived happily ever after. On the other side of the coin, there are probably many more who have not. We are, after all, men and women, and that's what we do. If it happens, whoever is involved should take full advantage of the moment, and enjoy those precious moments.

Just my opinion!

Becca fell in love with one of her clients. That is why she is no longer in the biz. So, to answer your question...Yes it can and does happen.

remember how you got to where you are

We share intimacy and can definitely make a connection that goes far beyond what initially brought you together.  You learn more and more about each other as time goes on.

I had/have the experience three times.

First time - ended when she wanted more than I could give at the time

Second time - ended when I found out how much she had lied to me about her situation, even though I had begun to consider chucking the whole life I had

Third time - just a continuing fantasy.. sweet but practically impossible

Good luck

I think it is quite easy for a provider and client to fall in love. If you get to know some one  you like with out having to be responsible for day to day need  I think it’s very possible. It has happened to more then a few gentleman on the boards here. And the ladies. Now as to weather it’ works who knows how long does it take to measure? Marriages grow apart after 23-35 years?? Go figure. Just a thought Livie.

Dear PhillyGFE:
I was wondering what would be the ideal factors that would make a provider make an exception such as that and when would one cross the line in that case?

they can fall in love but they cannot stay in love as long as they are actively involved in the business.  No man with any level of self esteem or true caring for a woman would want his love being involved as a provider.

I disagree.  I think for such a relationship to succeed, the man needs to have a strong self esteem and supreme confidence in their relationship.  It is normally weak self-esteem that leads to jealously, insecure feelings, feeling easily threatened, etc.

-- Modified on 2/11/2009 10:45:48 AM

I have to admit since this is a business which is based on intimacy, it's not beyond the ream of reality to fall in love.  So I must admit it has happened to me at the most inopportune times as well.

S

that it would be my SO out banging multiple guys daily that would lead to jealousy, insecure feelings and feeling threatened.

If you were to have your true SO go out and do this for several months you may be more qualified to make that judgement.  Having a woman you're in love with "provide" will absolutely tear apart any mans self esteem.  Of course there will be those that hang on because they are sucking off of the woman for money, sex and or they ultimately just dont give a fuck.

yes, they can and do... BUT how often is it not love but infatuation - one with the other... face it - when a guy contacts and sees a provider (And I LOVE Those terms) she sees him as a 'provider' for an hour - traditional marriage - the gal is looking for a good 'provider'  He also has confidence for the envelop has removed all doubt and insecurity that he is gonna get what he came for... access to sex.  So, we have a dude, showing up, confident, and with money to provide... those are the very things that make civie women gaga in the knees... well that and good looks... but with the right lighting - we can fake that.

on the other hand, ladies put on the best show... acting pleased to see us, stroking our egos (among other things) and telling us how wonderful we are - BO and all.  in short, making us believe - for just an hour or two - we are special... and we ring her chime just right... all the things that make civie men go gaga in the knees... and so the seotonin rush provides the hobbiest with another way to get high.

of course they fall in something... sometimes it do indeed lead to real love, but most of the time - as in civie dating - it does not.  It is mearly lust... and not much else...

Have I fallen in something for providers? Yup... and I am proud to say that I am friends with some... would be proud to be seen with them in public....   Do I? no, but then again, I don't take my accountant out for dinner or my lawyer out for drinks.. (Ok, I did, but since he joined AA I can't!)....

it is what it is... right now - this is ONLY a profession for the ladies... and not the essence of who they are.  Love and sex - are NOT equal things... that is - you can love someone with no sex involved... and you can have sex with someone with no love involved... once you realize that - a lady providing sex for money is not distracting to a "love" relationship... but realizing that is almost impossible in practice.

... but who knows what will come of it?  we've never discussed it, but the feelings are there.

i'm one of the few or the only one he has seen.  we're both in our early 30s and i'm low volume with another career so this is temporary for me, however i would never put a man in the position of being my boyfriend while i do this.  hopefully i will retire soon enough!

starngeest thing is that he is super good-looing (a notch above me that's for sure) but is so busy with travelling for work that he sees me when in town.  i have seen him 15 - 20 times since last july when we met and when he took me on vacation is when we fell in love.  but he has never asked my real name because he said he respected my privacy.  when i told him that & about my real job is when things changed for me.  he has said he new he loved me from our first visit.  and yes, he still pays me for every hour every time.  he insists.

even if we end up together, it will not be easy.  but love is never easy, is it?

Hey, I don't think "brightness" really has anything to do with it, so your alias (and I do appreciate why you used one) is probably a misnomer.  You're certainly right about one thing: Love is never easy...at least it hasn't been for me over the years.

But back to you, all I can do is wish you the best of luck.  Funny/ironic...when I posed my original question, I was wondering if the "trust issue" could be managed, but more so from the male point of view, as in: "Can I really trust someone in a long-term relationship who "provided" for a living?"  Mysogonist that I can be at times, I never really put myself in the ladies shoes and felt her insecurities.  Your reply, however, lets a few of those bubble to the surface...he's better looking; travels a lot, etc.  My convoluted point here, is that as in any other relationship there are "issues" to be dealt with and managed.

So, I'm still learning, even after all these years.  And to you and Mr. ?, the very best of luck...follow both your head and heart; the right answer will come!

I suggest that you all break off the relationship. When the rubber meets the road [time for both you to stop] things will end ugly. Best to break up and realize that both you crossed the boundary. Remember we are all in this for variety. He might tell you those things, but watch out of you have a relationship. He will end seeing other girls and that make you upset.

... but the last time we saw each other we both realized we wanted more.  however, we are both reluctant to take it to another level unitl he traels less and i stop doing this.

because we are both young in basically in the beginning stages of our careers (this not being my career), we know we have time.  he took me on vacation with him and it was better than the last relationship i was in because it was 'really real'.  its hard to put an experience like that into words, but i know realness when i expereince it.  you'll just have to trust me on that one.

as far as him seeing other girls, of coure he can do that right now.  i am the last person who should say he shouldn't!  that would make me one huge hypocrit.  of course i would be jealous and there ain't no way i'm providing a reference, but that's the way it is.  

although i haven't asked, i doubt he has seen many other girls than me if any.  i know i was the first one he called because he was a mess the first time and confessed to being new.

i appreciate your concern, but i am smart woman and after all of this time know what kind of relationship and career i finally want.  i have to be patient and so does he and hopefully we will both be able to wait for each other for the next 2 or so years, but we'll see.  i know for a fact that not ALL men are into this for variety.  clients are as unique and different as the ladies are.  i have a few that are monogamous w/ me, believe it or not, and so do many other girls.  and if it ends up being my mess, then i am the only one who has to live with it.

Not a frequent poster on this message board, but this thread struck a nerve with me.  I'm actually in a loving provider-hobbyist relationship that has been working great for the last six months.  Perhaps my situation is different (it sure feels different to me), but here is the arrangement that works for us.

My provider/lover is a very sexual being, who recognizes (like men) that it is very difficult for our species to be exclusively monogamous.  I know that her participation in this field (she has a full time legit business as well) comes from the fact that she has an incredibly high sex drive.  I think she's in it for the sex rather than the money.  The term that works for our arrangement is polyamorous.  Her heart is 100% mine, even though she may physically be with many men (and an occasional woman).  

What also works for us is that we are completely non-judgmental of each other and we share everything with each other....no secrets.  She loves hearing about my escapades and I love hearing about hers (hers are way more interesting than mine!).  When you are secure in your relationship and love, jealousy doesn't enter the equation.  

Finally...this is a little off topic, but since we share common interests, we can hobby together too!  Had a crazy four day vacation in Vegas and got to share in some off the hook experiences.

Falling in love is quite easy but 99% are unreciprocated love that would end no where.

Look at the profile of typical John. They are middle aged men, many married, who have the disposable income and the itch to see young chicks they can't get for free. Young men typically don't have the income nor the need to see providers as they can get young chicks for free unless there is something weird about them.  In fact, many providers are afraid to see young John for fear of running into weirdo or stalker, or getting emotionally attached if they turn out to be normal.

Majority of the falling in love threads came from John as a result of infatuaion.  Rarely, a provider can meet and fall in love with Mr. Right but it will likely end up hurting than success due to social taboo.  

If mutual falling in love is so easy in this biz, the many loveline biz will be out of biz.