Who dat?  Who dat?  Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?  No, Im not practicing for a minstrel show.  Ive joined the Who Dat Nation because Im a fervent football fan and frolicsome female who fancies a fun time.  And the boisterous bacchanalia in the Big Easy will be uniquely breathtaking because the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl.

The Saints victory over the Colts will make the 2010 Mardi Gras more festive than usual.  Only an explosion at the bead factory in Fuzhou, China could send more strings of plastic beads soaring skyward than the New Orleans Saints.  Therell be more exposed pigskin flaunted by frolicking floozies on Saint Charles Avenue than pork bellies on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange.

The official monarch of the 2010 Mardi Gras will be none other than Drew Brees.  The royal stud muffin will kick off his reign as king when the Bacchus parade rolls down St. Charles Avenue on February 14.  Hes so dreamy (sigh).  How I wish hed throw a pass at this wide-hipped receiver.  Drew, throw me that foreskinahempigskin; Im wide open. (lol)

I dream about Drews fingers on my footballs.  Cant find the stitches?  Thats because my plastic surgeon did a really good job.  Oh, come on now; dont tell me you missed an obvious metaphor like footballs.  How will you keep up?  The game of football is chock-full of sexual metaphors like scoring and turnover.  And for those occasions when coitus doesnt go quite as planned, theres fumble, timeout and the two-minute warning to signal the end of play.  My ex-husband never played a game that went more than two minutes.  I was always relying on substitutions.

Whats that?  You want to tackle me?  Well, thats not really a football metaphor.  Okay, but there are rules to follow.  My backfield is always in motion, and theres no penalty for holding, but a play in my end zone is an illegal procedure thatll cost you the game.  My tight end will block that play every time for an incomplete pass.  Oh, yeah, there could be more than eleven players in a huddle.  And overtime periods are more than 15 minutes, because Im not a clock-watcher.

Now its time to stop playing the field and call me; I want to be your ball carrier.  But I should warn you, I may get a penalty for illegal use of my hands. (lol)
Natasha