I started the Hobby last year and joined TER and got verified by p411. I had two encounters with 'newbie' friendly providers that went very well. This year I've tried contacting two 'upscale' providers that require references. The first one never responded after two inquiries. I just brushed it off as not interested, but now it's been 5 days and a second provider hasn't responded either. Is this common? Did I unknowingly violate some etiquette by giving the contact information of my first two encounters? The first one definitely said that I could use her as a reference, but I forgot to ask the second. I assumed it was professional courtesy. Is there any other reason that I would be blocked?

each time before you do so.

In any case, if one reference was solid, I would have thought that would allow for you to at least hear back.

Keep trying with other providers.

Be sure you follow any instructions about how to contact the provider that she has on her website.

you mention that the first provider said you could use her as a reference but enough time may have passed (you say "this year") that she might not remember you - sad, but true....

In general, it is polite and a good idea to first contact the provider who will be giving the reference and asking if she is still willing - gives you a chance to remind her who you are. Then after you get the OK, you make the date and furnish the references.

Hope this helps.

....I always let them know that they can list me as a reference.  It's quite simple: "while I truly have enjoyed our time together, and would love to see you again, should you wish to visit with another lady, please know that you may list me as a reference".

    I tell gentlemen this when we are wrapping up our date, thanking him for choosing to visit with me, etc.  I also tell them this in my thank you e-mail.

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

not everyone is as proper and organized as you!

There's a million things that could be going wrong, all the way from the providers weren't interested, all the way to you being blacklisted somewhere. I know personally, I ask for provider references but they aren't necessary and I don't require them. I know some providers don't give references, and some will.. Some will also say a guy is okay for them, but that doesn't mean he's going to be okay for another provider.

If you did, no need to worry about asking because the okays are proxy references. When you send a appointment request through P411, the lady you are requesting can view your profile with your associated okays. If you didn't ask for or get the okays, that could be part of the problem.

Unfortunately, a no response happens more than most of us would like. There are many reasons for it. I stopped worrying about them long ago. Just move on. There are many more ladies to choose from who I'm sure will be happy for your business.

Dear Kelly:
With respect to references, do you have a rule regarding length of time that person can use you?

You waited too long between visits. I could be wrong, but if you are a green horn, and only had two initial references after opening a new account and both were in the last calendar year, its like starting over from scratch. You can go back to a lady you saw before and get an updated okay on P411. I had women ignore my profile, and just book appointments based on the fact I have 17 provider okays. They didn't even look at my profile ever.  

However, some ladies want to speak to someone who saw you before, before they will see you. When I went longer than 6 months, some women [often the highest rated ladies] would say sorry bud, the last two girls I contacted didn't remember you, or were retired and are unreachable. Or would just ignore me. I found that I have to see someone, every 3-4 months, to keep my references current. You can always contact your last two ladies via P411, and PM them to let them know you may be needing a reference and offer them some information in the message to help remind her of your date, so she remembers you.

It is a good idea to find an ATF, so you have someone who knows you well enough, so that would not be necessary, but you can absolutely die on the vine if you are waiting too long between dates. This is a reason I shy away from agencies. They often have great ladies, who are beautiful and can have great reviews, but a lot of independent providers, especially highly rates ones, wont pay much attention to the word of an agency. So I stick to independent providers and if I do see a lady at an agency, its with in the 3-5 month time frame I am getting new okays from an independent on p411.  

 

......it is up to the lady asking.  I always include when I last entertained the gentleman in my reply.  For instance, I will say, "yes, I did indeed visit with ****** this past January, etc".

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

.....compliment!

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

Some only take references from reviewed ladies to ensure that you're not falsifying things.  I've personally had "references" sent to me for ladies that either didn't exist, or that I was unable to find.  

I find it really helpful when potential clients send me websites for their references, and it's a treat when they send a TER ID number along as well.  Normally I can find the ID myself when given a website, but sometimes it can be difficult tracking down who your references is.  

Also, a lot of ladies need particular information in order to confirm they've seen you.  Are you giving the same information to all parties?  

Like Kelly, I always tell my visitors that they're welcome to use me as a reference.

Ugh, didn't realize I needed to be collecting 'okays' on p411. How do I go about doing that? Do I need to make the request through p411? Do I need to ask at the end of the encounter?

Thanks! This has been very helpful.

Go to the profile of the provider you saw, click the request OK button and fill out the form. A provider can not OK you with out an OK request from you. The OKs are what make you easy to verify and get you in the door.

...."blocked",  as you put it.  You said you contacted two different providers in the hopes of getting a date with them

So, If you KNOW you put Everything in the first email that they "ask" for on their sites, the fact that they have not responded AT ALL to you has little to do with YOU, but says Volumes as to how they manage their emails.

(and of course, a lady is not REQUIRED to respond to anyone that emails them.  Just the ones that interest them...if that's how they choose do their business.)    

who knows what else.....
Some peoples emails go into the SPAM folder and if the lady forgets to check THAT on a daily basis, well, it could never be seen, or seen a week or so later, if they happen to look in it.

Just write to another lady that interest you and try not to "dwell" too long on the ones that don't respond.

xoxo
Stay Thirsty my friend,
Porti

You request an okay after your session through P411. The 'request an okay' button is next to the 'request an appointment' button. You can ask the lady at the end of the appointment if she'd be willing to okay you, but you still need to send the request through P411

As a newbie, you are a basic member. As you gain okays you become a basic plus member (i.e. Basic plus 2, if you have 2 okays, and so on). The ladies specify in their profile who they are willing to see. (Newbie friendly, all p411 member with references, basic plus 2, basic plus 3, etc.) the highest I've seen is basic plus 5, which meant you would need at least 5 okays before being considered. Once you get established, you'll find this gets much easier and will increase your odds at getting a quick response.

You can also have a provider update the date of her okay on P411 if you have seen her more recently. Just send her a request to do so. If her initial okay was given in March but you saw her again in December, she can update it to reflect the December meeting.