Lately, I've been contacted by members of P411 who have inaccurate expectations regarding how that site is meant to work.  

You see, I require more than just your membership and a set amount of Okays; I'm not the only lady who wants more than that, either.    
Yet there seem to be many who are of the belief that any lady listed and advertising there is tacitly agreeing to see members without any additional information or screening procedures.    

 
THIS IS NOT TRUE  

Gina (P411 owner) ADVISES ladies that the references and/or verification there should be just one step in our screening process.    

What I'm typically hearing is along these lines, "I thought the whole point of P411 is so I DON'T have to give any ladies here my personal info!" and "P411 exists so both the client and provider have their homework done for them, if I wanted to jump through hoops I'd look on other websites!" or "But you're ON P411... why are you there if you want more from me?"  and so on and so forth.  

This feedback comes from both newer and more established hobbyists; the newer ones have often been advised by their more seasoned counterparts to join that site, and then they'll have their pick of all the ladies there.  
The implied message seems to be "P411 ladies WILL see P411 members, period"....... and while this is true for many providers on that site, is NOT the case for all.    

I've heard similar stories from ladies who advertise on Date-Check, as well.  Even ladies who advertise on RS2K may ask for additional information or references from those members.  

As to Whitelists/Reviews here or on other sites sufficing?  Again, this will be enough for SOME ladies but please do not expect this to work all of the time.  

 
So LADIES, if you want more from your new friends than what info is on their member profiles, STATE THAT ON YOUR PROFILE.  Then you can at least say, "well I'm sorry you didn't read my Bio because it was right there!" and know that you were upfront about it.  If they're caught off guard, they have only themselves to blame.    
We cannot MAKE them read, after all.  LOL.  

CLIENTS/HOBBYISTS: Please READ each lady's Bio or Ad content to see if she mentions additional screening requirements; I personally feel it is best to also check out her website for such info as well but realize that a lot of potential clients don't do this.  

FOR ALL: Please do not chastise or harass anyone about their requirements, expectations, or comfort levels.    
We all have that which works for us and that's TOTALLY OKAY!   Browbeating someone to give up more info than what is comfortable for him or pestering another into compromising her own rules is rarely effective, and could wind up having the opposite result of making yourself unattractive to future P4P partners.  

 
Sorry if this was a little too lecture-y!   xoxoxoxo

 


-- Modified on 6/7/2016 11:26:49 AM

Although I would like to state for the record that you do NOT speak for anything more than a small minority of P 411 providers. My experience has been that the overwhelming majority of women who promote themselves on P 411 do not ask their clients to jump through any additional hoop if the guy has multiple and recent okays.  

I think my batting average on TER is about one out of every hundred women ask me for additional screening information or for ID when I walk in the door and one of those cases was from a K-Girl agency which are notorious for tough screening. Aside from that, out of about 300 dates on P411 I have been asked for ID once, and additional screening once. I am pretty happy with that batting average.

Obviously you have the right to conduct your screening as you see fit, but you are most certainly in the minority where it comes to the way most providers on P 411 conduct their business. I will concede that only a blind man could claim he "wasn't aware" you require more screening than the typical P 411 provider, so bitching about it to you completely unwarranted IMO. If they don't like your screening methods they should most definitely simply move on to someone "easier" with her screening practices.

Its your body, its your rules. Period. End of discussion for me.  

On occasion, IF I sense a bit of flexibility with a provider re: her verification, I will offer up other info (i.e. and extra reference or two) in lieu of my personal info but I don't pressure anyone in this regard.

You personally ask for way too much info for me, but that is ok. Guys here need to know that no matter how nice both parties are, and regardless of reputation, some people are just not good matches, verification wise.

No need to argue about it with the provider. Just move on guys. Or give up the info. The third "option", badgering a girl or pressuring her, is intolerable. She is literally putting her life on the line seeing you (plural) so respect what they ask for re: verification.

As a recent addition to P411, I have already experienced this.  
I've even had guys presume to tell me "how the site works" and "that's why there is the OK system".

I'm sorry, but that isn't how I operate. My safety is worth more than ANY possible appointment could be.

Do I lose potentially good clients? Certainly I do.
Do I care? Not in the least.

If you're not comfortable with what I ask, you're free to move along, but please, don't hound me to accept your OKs or tell me why I should.

"Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!"

Guys who hobby last minute, as you seem to do, p411 was a godsend. It got the rep for peeps looking not only for easy verification, but for quick verification as well.

The time it takes for refs to get back to the provider in question can take several days, if not weeks in some cases.  

p411, and others like it, was a way around that. Like you said, vast majority of providers take p411 only and the guys know this, so it strikes them as odd when Debbie or others like her with more stringent verification procedures put up a road block.

I don't have a problem with a guy pointing this out to a girl, as that is just part of doing business with an ignorant or lazy public, but I do have an issue, as I am sure you do, when it comes to them badgering a girl.

Not just about screening, but about rates, times or whatever, if you have to browbeat a woman into doing things your way, what kind of a session do you really expect.

The one thing I have to say about Debbie, she makes it VERY plain from the beginning exactly what her expectations are. NO ONE can whine that they "didn't know" what she requires.

I am probably a lot different than most guys in that I don't really care what they ask for, asked nicely I will almost always comply as long as it doesn't involve me expending a lot of effort. Show ID at the door, not a biggie for me. Send a long list of references that I have to clear first and/or fill out an application for a session, not a fucking chance. The moment it feels like "jumping through hoops" I am gone.

Like you, I require more verification info than just P411.  

I have a notice on both the top AND bottom of my P411 profile, to save frustration on both sides. It really helps to ensure that the clients who contact me ARE comfortable sharing their info. Every once in a while, I will get an inquiry from client who somehow didn't see the notice...

but you can't blame your prospective clients for the fact that the overwhelming number of providers on P 411 do accept the "ok system" as screening and for most that is "how the site works"  

You would do well to follow Debbie's advice and post it PLAINLY on your P411 ad that you do require additional screening before you will see anyone. That should cut down on this issue for you considerably

I have had many guys get straight up hateful with me for politely declining to accept their P411 Okays as gospel. Everything from being told that my verification requirements mean I have a shitty attitude, to lambasting me publicly on my ads. Everyone needs to do what they're comfortable with, without any vitriol being thrown at them.

whatever information they feel they need to be safe. Likewise, a guy should only give the information he feels comfortable in giving.

It doesn't matter how special a provider might be nor how much I want to see her; I'm not giving out certain information.

Perhaps the more information is requested because certain providers see more out-of-town guys. Local ladies have a good communication system about assisting each other with client information.

 
Please please please do not speculate on such things here on the Newbie board, where the naive may believe you! Please.

I'm sure each lady who asks for "more information" has her own reasons for it.  

Besides, when has attempting to figure out a woman's reasoning ever really worked out well for men?  LOL.