im a complete newbie, hobby cherry still intact, doing my research as completely as possible, and i have questions about these topics that i cant seem to find covered anywhere else.  

i happen to be disabled, so i dont work, but most of the procedures for screening, even with registry sites, seem to be based on employment verification.  of course i have my DL, and i do have my disabled card that came with the placard for my rearview mirror, but suspect that wont be enough.  is there any way around this dilemma?  

also, what is the accepted etiquette for the girl you meet not being the one whose pics you saw, or they are older, fatter, etc. and basically revolting in some way?  do i just walk away, or refuse her entry in the case of outcall?   do i give a nominal fee for inconvenience, gas, or cancellation so as not to risk retaliation by a handler or driver?

sorry to be such a doofus, but im really interested in the hobby, and i want to have all my facts straight before i dive in.  thanks for any and all sincere replies.

gimme
morkat

As always, it is the chicken/egg problem. Ladies won't see you without references and you can't get a reference without seeing someone.

First, you need to bite the bullet and research newbie friendly providers. They are out there and may need additional or different info. You can post in your local board to have a newbie friendly provider contact you. If you don't have VIP (I suggest getting it), then provide a throw away email address.

Agencies (pick on that is listed in your area under REVIEWS --> Search menu --> Search agencies) are often a little easier on newbies, and ones listed under TER often provide referrals. Not all ladies take agency referrals, but some do. However, if you get enough reviews under your belt (pick popular agency ladies that have reviews by local board persona for example), you can sometimes get by with your review history.

Remember, as a young lad did below, if you have no reviews to your credit and see an unreviewed lady, they may not publish your review.

As for the B&S thing... The answer is that it depends. At what point does it go from "she's the lady in the photos" to "she used to be the lady in the photos" to "who the hell are you?" It is very subjective where each person draws the line. Some folks care more about the face, boobs, butt, etc. and don't care that she gained 10 years and 50 pounds since her last photo.

Another thing to remember. Check the date of her first review (assume it was five years ago). I ALWAYS assume that her age at the time of the review was at the high end of the range... then add the additional years. Always assume a bit of air-brushing to make the skin look better, etc. Not all ladies do this, but this alleviates some of the shock upon entry for some. Also, try to notice the local board personalities (reviewers) and look to see who they review. This can be a good guide for choosing.

Regardless, if you go to an incall and she opens the door, you are under no obligation to go through with anything for any reason (as is she), and money does not have to change hands. Now, if you like blondes and she dyed her hair red, that is not an acceptable reason to blow her off as is "a few" (purposely ambiguous) pounds or years. If you feel it is a true B&S or the mis-representation warrants, then walk.

Realize, that she can put the word out on you for walking and other ladies may choose not to see you. I hate to say it, but you're almost better off (if it is her) going through with it and writing the review - honestly. For the initial reviews, it will help to get a few on the boards. This is the other reason to stick with well-reviewed ladies. Less likely to be B&S... they know about the value of reviews... etc. At the same time, well reviewed ladies, that have been around can have a lot of clout.

Any lady can put you on the national blacklist (you'd probably have to work to get there)... A lady with no reviews is not likely to have any influence with this crowd.

Remember this. Just because she has glowing reviews of 8/8 or 9/9 even with some 10s... and the review stories sound great... there are ladies here that have been around and, shall we say politely, looked like their photos at one time. Many reviewers are: A) happy to get some and B) afraid of what will happen if they tell the truth about the lady with 10 pages of reviews.

There is a lot there... not very well organized... good luck

Hi Morkat you don't sound like a doofus, you sound like you just want to be informed and polite.

I don't know where you're at, but I'm in Spokane, WA and I generally don't do employment verification (unless other things that turn up during screening or scheduling seem strange.)I am fairly new as well (have only been doing this for a few months) and haven't been able to get a review other than the one that is on my website :/  but would be more than happy to see if I could help you with your hobby v-card. If not, then just know that there ARE other methods of screening and ladies that use them. You could also ask the provider of your choosing if she it would be willing to meet you for coffee or dinner (do compensate her for her time!) before setting a spicier meeting; I have had a few clients do this to ensure mutual compatibility and comfort, and I appreciate the gesture.  

I have heard of some ladies being uncomfortable working with disabled clients--you may want to make sure the ladies you visit are okay with this when setting your appointment.

While I have not had a problem with any clients being dissatisfied with my appearance (all my pix are of me) or personality, I have had 2 different clients complain about meeting ladies who'd misrepresented themselves prior to setting up a meeting with me--and one was mostly dissatisfied with several ladies' misrepresentations of their personalities, not appearances. In both cases, the clients told me they'd paid the ladies the agreed upon amount and chatted briefly before sending them away. However, this seems a bit strange to me, and if I were a hobbyist I probably wouldn't give a lady who'd misrepresented herself anything other than just enough gas money to get home.

You are under no obligation to see a lady if you arrive and she opens the door she does not appear like she does in her photos.The same applies if the lady shows up at your door and she is not the lady you saw in the photos.That is the first warning the appointment is not going to go as planned.There are many gentleman that have seen a lady and her photos were not an actual representation of her and it is always down hill from there and then they post on the boards complaining.To save yourself the aggravation just politely decline the appointment and let her know her photos are misleading.Since,yes most of us ladies require screening I would suggest going with a reputable agency in your area or a newbie friendly provider.I also would inquire on some of the verification sites if they have other options if a person is disabled and does not have employment info.Also,I would not give anything to a person that is misleading from the beginning so if I was a gentleman in a bait and switch situation I would not be offering gas money,cancellation fee,or anything like that.Hope this helps you out and have fun!

You may need to provide alternate information...  lots of retired guys hobby.  

It really should not happen that the person you meet is not the one in the ad.  You assure this by reading reviews...  the existance of a review is NOT enough...  you need to kbnow if it was good or bad!  Yes, you need VIP but it costs way less than even one spoiled date.  
I've never had to do so but I'd probably give a 20 for gas if I refused at the door.

You'll also need a private email address & a hobby phone.   Besides the self help manual, read back on this Newbie board until you can answer every question without looking.  THEN, you'll be ready to take that first step.  

Best Wishes,
skb

i just wanted to take a minute to thank you for your responses, and serena, that was a good idea on how to handle the disability issue (also, if we lived on the same coast, my dear, i would be only too happy for you to help me with my v status, as you seem like just the sort of classy, beautiful lady ill be looking for).  its really good to know that there is a community of like-minded people to bounce questions and ideas off of, since you cant talk to just anyone about these things.  i really appreciate your input, and i will pay it forward if and when i can.