In fact, I know at least a couple of GMILFs, just saw one today, and they are hotter than hot.

It is also not uncommon for older gents (Who, I think, are a majority on here.) express a desire for women who are closer to them in age for the reasons of having a better mental connection with such gals.

So, I would not let the fact that you want to market yourself as a MILF be seen as any kind of roadblock to your success.

This post of yours is definately not an ad.  There isn't even any way of contacting you.  An ad specifically calls out your availability along with links to your site, photos, etc.  Such ads are allowed mostly on the local boards, up to once every 7 days.

You should read up on how TER works by clicking on the Self Help Manual (See the life preserver at the top of the page.) and reading that through top to bottom.

Welcome and many hopes for you success.

Yes, there is a market out there for MILF's.  I have seen a few, older than you.  43 is not too old for me to visit you.  However, I will say this, if I am not physically attracted to you, I would not see you, regardless of your age.

Age is not a major factor in who I see, but physical attraction is.  Of course, the menu plays a major factor in whether or not I would see you.  I do have my deal-breakers that have nothing to do with age.

Swim

If anyone is able and interested in giving me some honest feedback about my questions, I would most appreciate it.  I'm pretty thick skinned so not looking for reassurance, just actual honest feedback.  If not, I'll probably still dive in soon and just see what happens.

My main questions is, does anyone know how much of a market there is for so-called "MILF" providers?  And forgive me if this is a super naive question, but am I supposed to categorize myself that way even if I'm not actually anyone's mother?  I'm 43, just don't have it in me to lie about my age or anything else, and am not looking to become a full time provider - more hoping to find a select few companions with whom I'm sexually and temperamentally compatible, to see in an ongoing fashion.

I have specific assets that have enabled me to remain successful as a part time professional BDSM provider (attractive, look younger than my age [especially my body - staying out of the sun is a miracle worker!], very orgasmic and very kinky), but have wondered for a little while now if there's a way to blend escorting and kink for mutually beneficial encounters.

Thanks in advance to anyone who feels like weighing in.

Also, to the moderators - I am so new here that I still have a fair amount of confusion about how it all works, so am not sure if this post qualifies as a "provider ad" since I'm looking for general consumer opinions rather than trying to procure interest in myself specifically.  But if I've crossed a line, I understand you will need to remove this post, and I'll try to figure out how to re-ask without violating posting policies.

Thanks again everyone.

Marnie there is definitely a market for MILF. 43, I often see ladies in the 40 to 45 age bracket. Age is not an issue. Looks, services offered, personality, and attitude that is what matters. There are some providers in that age range that post often on these boards. It's true what a previous poster said. Many older gents like to see mature providers due to the chance of having experiences they can relate too.

Do you research and go for it I say.

 Thanks for your reply.  I'm pretty clear on the fact that unless someone finds me attractive, as well as willing to do the things they're into, they're not going to want to see me as a provider, period.  I think my main concerns have been, since I look younger, others have advised me to claim that I am in fact younger (which grates on me, as I suck at lying and don't enjoy it either), and then I don't have the foggiest idea really of how to safely (as in not attracting LE attention) signify clearly what my own interests and limits are, so as to not waste my time or anyone else's.  For instance, is there any market at all anymore for providers who don't do DT?  If not, I may as well pack it in.  But are there hobbyists who may be so into certain other strengths of mine, shall we say, that the no-DT thing no longer is a deal breaker?  And how do I find this shit out?!  Do I just put up an ad, say it all in as safely-coded language as possible, and see what happens?  It's hard to get other providers to talk specifically with me about transitioning to a provider who blends both BDSM and escorting.  Seems like everyone's afraid all of our phones and emails are being tapped or something.

I will say, I realize that these boards are not meant as free-tutorials-for-Marnie, so I totally understand if no one wants to spend time answering my questions.  I just figured if anyone would know what potential hobbyists are looking for, it would be members and reviewers of TER.

So thanks again to everyone who's replied to me, and thanks in advance to anyone else who may feel like weighing in.  Other than that, happy hobbying everybody!

 Thanks for the feedback.

It's like any other job: You'd better love what you do, because you'll be competing against other people who do. It sounds to me like you know what you are and know what you want, so go get 'em girl!

And there is a market for a BDSM/escort blend. Some providers like do quite well with it. One thing clients menu requirements are different. Some need a BBBJ to get them going others don't care about a BJ at all. Find you boundaries and stick to them. Don't worry about not offering DT.

Now before you do anything in the escort business you need to learn how to screen. It is the only real protection from LE or worse. There are three main ways to do this. First and best is references from other providers. Please make sure these ladies issuing the references are on the up and up. Check there reviews.

The next way to verify a client is get the clients real full name and employment information and check up on it. Also check blacklist sites like providerbuzz.com with this information. The last way to verify clients is sites like P411, RS2000, and Datecheck.

The only way to find out what the market for you is to put up an ad. Don't worry if things are slow at first because many clients need to verify you to feel safe, so until you get a few reviews thing will likely be slow. Give things some time. It can take a bit to break in.

This is a fine place to post your questions, thats what this board is for. If you cant find it in the Self-Help Center or using the search button feel free to use this board as a "free-tutorials-for-Marnie" board. Many of us are glad to help.

Again I would see a hot lady at any age. Have fun and happy hobbying.

If you don't mind older gentleman then 43 is still a great age. As a matter of fact I prefer women in that age group again as long as I am attracted. Telling a lie about your age unless you pass for an under 30 lady probably would not be worthwhile. From what I see the client who are looking for young are looking for under 30. Those of us who are looking for a mature MILF would start usually mid 30's and up. I have even seen pictures of mid 50's I wouldn't mind if they were closer. Age alone is not the big factor, it is how attracted we are to you. Then when we are with you it is how you perform and from your comments you are should be alright. your kissing concerns are like a lot of other rules providers have. There are men that would make it a deal breaker but there are others who wouldn't care. None of the items you mentioned would stop you from being a success.

A lot of older gents prefer the older ladies. Sometimes it is hard to find them. I don't see much benefit in lying about your age. The guys who care are looking for 18-25 year olds, and you shouldn't lie that much. Play up your niche, and you will do well. Good Hunting.

Have you started services yet?  Have a website?  I'm sure you're plenty pretty and many guys would love to see you.

BTW, I couldn't agree with you more about staying out of the sun.  It baffles me as to why some women think the darker tan they have, the more attractive it is.  I think it's quite the opposite.

Good luck.

Thanks for your reply, mrfisher.  I have another ridiculously newbie question - what is a GMILF?

Thanks for responding.  

That's one of my least favorite parts about being a provider (as I mentioned, I have a lot of experience doing straight pro BDSM sessions as a sub) - the whole competition thing.  I always have loved doing doubles, am into women in general, and it goes against my grain to look at any of this from a standpoint of trying to say I'm better than anyone else.  Plenty of people have seemed to love me, and many of them see or saw other pro subs and loved them too.  I mostly am just trying to figure out how to make it known, safely (re: LE), that my boundaries have expanded, and whether I'm supposed to post an ad in the regular escort section of the website where I've always advertised (but formerly in the BDSM section) and just say how old I am and what I'm into, or post in the "mature" category, or what.  

Thanks to everyone who's responded here, it's helped me a lot so far.

Grand Ma I L F

Can you tell us where you are located, State, City, which TER local/regional board will you post ads.


Thank you
2011 = 28

Well thank you for the kind words.  I think because I'm so fair skinned naturally, staying out of the sun was my only option anyway (all I ever did was burn and freckle, despite a brief but valiant effort in high school) - but I will say that there is something super delicious to me about young women with gorgeous tans.  (Fake/spray tans, on the other hand, are a little disorienting for me).

I technically never really stopped straight pro submissive services in the first place, just stopped doing it full time a few years ago and got a really enjoyable "straight" job, so sessions were confined to weekends and bi-annual trips to NYC.  I took down my website from back in the old  full-time-pro-kink days though, and am currently super ambivalent about investing in another (good, professionally-maintained) one.  I don't want to put up a cheap, tacky-looking one either; it's that I'm not trying to attract a large volume of play partners anyway, just enough to satisfy my personal sex drive.  So it seems like the most important thing is getting more professional looking recent photos (I have recent photos taken with cell phones already, but again, while I'm happy to send them to prospective new play partners, I'm afraid they could give the impression that I'm not serious about attracting high caliber playmates because they're maybe too amateur-ish for a website).

I'm going to read the rules again for posting ads on here, because I have this fuzzy memory of it maybe being possible to link to my Eros Guide ad, once I put one up in the next week or so, and that would of course have photos of me.  But I think I'd need to have some return-link to TER in whichever page I link to, so I'll have to figure out how to do that too.

I seriously appreciate everyone's discussions with me here.  When I started in the pro kink industry about ten years ago, after a brief initial stint at a commercial dungeon, I went out on my own and had only my common sense, sexual appetites, and the examples of various independent professional Dommes to help me figure out how to connect with those folks with whom I was a good match, and to avoid the pitfalls of crappy advertising and other "business practices."

This whole world, on TER, is brand new to me (though I did receive two reviews on here when I was pro subbing, can't remember if it was under sub Marnie or just Marnie, etc.).  Most of the people I ever did sessions with never came to sites like these, so I had no idea about how the rest of the hobbyist/provider world went about screening each other, etc.  I'm finding it very interesting and informative.

oh lord.  am I at an age where I'm supposed to identify THAT way now, at 43?  I know in mainstream porn now, "MILFS" are often played by women who aren't even 30 yet, never mind 40.

I don't know where you have posted your ads in the past, so I can't comment as to which section or category you should advertise. I would recommend you adopt a truth-in-advertising policy, be discrete, and screen to your level of comfort; your safety and security must be paramount and uncompromising. All of these can help you meet the type of client you want to meet.

Thank you for the feedback.

When I was strictly pro subbing, I mostly advertised on the Eros Guide in the BDSM section, and I also had a professional website that was linked well enough to make me usually come up in the top 10 sites for people Googling professional submissives in Los Angeles.  Another provider friend of mine today suggested I advertise in the escort section of the Eros Guide now, and refer to myself as a submissive escort. We'll see.

I always did have a truth-in-advertising policy (except when I say I'm five feet tall - I'm really 4'11 3/4"), mainly because I'm too lazy to bother with lying.  It seems like it'd be exhausting trying to keep all your stories straight.  Anyway, point being, I never liked wasting anyone else's time anymore than wasting my own, so I was always very specific in my ads and on my website about what I life, what my limits were, and that the most important thing to me was chemistry.  I love feeling hands on my body, but if those hands are attached to someone who I just don't share a good vibe with, I can't get into it, and I can't fake things either.

Anyway, thanks again for your response.

Thanks, Angelique, but, damn, now what am I supposed to do about pictures?!  I'm planning a photo shoot soon (I do have several amateur pics that I've taken with my own phone recently and a friend has taken with his, but I didn't figure they'd look polished enough to use in an ad or on a site (if I decide to have one).  How am I supposed to prove that I look like my pictures without having to lie about my age?

That issue aside, thanks for all the feedback about my curiosity of where I might be able to fit into the world of escorting + BDSM providers.  

Anyone else reading, is it actually necessary that I even state my age?  I don't care if people ask me in person, but with ads or on websites, it seems like it'd just be obvious that I'm not 23, but if I don't mention my age specifically and people like my pictures, then surely they'd understand why there's no reason for me to lie in person if the subject comes up, so maybe that would solve the whole issue?

Dang it seemed like the straight BDSM provider world was so much simpler in a lot of ways.  Somehow I had always expected the opposite, ha.

Thanks again for your feedback,
Marnie

I had the same concern when I got started (and I have had kids! true MILF here). I wondered how I could compete with the perfect body 23 year olds. But I have found that there are three main types of hobbyists... 1) those mainly concerned with physical perfection and beauty, 2) those mainly concerned with personality, and 3) those mainly concerned with skills... since most are a blend of the three priorities, there is a huge market for a woman of any age who is attractive, has a great personality and highly skilled without being "10 perfect."

Another surprising thing I learned (by asking) is that many men want to be with a woman they could fantasize they had met at a bar or in the elevator who might really be into them. They can't maintain that fantasy with a 23 year old perfect 10 who they could never "pick up" or relate to in "real life" (it ruins the "suspension of disbelief" needed to maintain the fantasy).

And as far as posting your "real age" in ads that require age, if you look way younger than your real age, guys will think your pictures are really old and you don't actually look like that now... fyi...

I assume undated photos are at least 6 months old if not years. But if your reviews state they are accurate, I tend to believe dates on photos. But only if reviews and my back-channeling state they are currant. Too, many fakes not to have independent verification though.

In answer there is no absolute reason to even state your age if the photos confirm your not to young. If you don"t mind telling in person your reviews will give an age bracket. It is perfectly acceptable to just say your a mature provider.

As far as if you need to put your age, it all depends on where you are posting.

On Backpage (the best "READY NOW" place to advertise when you are not booked), for example, it is required and shows up right in the subject line of the ad. The guys on there assume all the women over 30 are lying about their age, so they will tack on 5 to 10 years to your posted age before they even open your ad (so "43" means 48 to 53). If you post your real age, they won't even open the ad in the first place to see how young and pretty you look (I STILL get carded!).

Cityvibe doesn't require an age. Other sites and places vary.

As for your pictures:
Once you get your first review, your first reviewer creates your profile. He is likely to post the age you look (his guess), not check your driver's license. And this is what helps legitimize your pictures ("Does she look like her pictures?" "Yes").

BUT! The majority of guys on Backpage don't know about reviews or review sites (I put that I am reviewed on all my ads but they don't even know what that means!), so this will not help you at all with most of them! You don't want to post all professional pictures on Backpage because guys will think they are fake. A mixture of cell phone, digital camera and professional pictures where guys aren't privy to reviews works the best.