...that "something came up" and you'd have to postpone rather than tell her about Provider A.  She may think you would do that again so she doesn't want to bother with you.  Double-booking is not uncommon for hobbyists.

At the beginning of the week I contacted Provider A to see about arranging a date for next month. I've never seen her before but have exchanged emails. She's very prompt in replying, sometimes within an hour.  

I don't think you should of gotten too specific about seeing provider A with provider B, perhaps you could of said that you would like to see her next month following the month you are seeing provider A without having to cancel her (yes, some ladies get their feelings hurt if this happens). Next time, give yourself ample time to arrange dates, I know you emailed her with enough anticipation but screening takes a while as well as getting references back. I know you are trying to do the right thing but sometimes unfortunately It doesn't work as you expect.

You heard from A before you heard from B, not your fault.  B is pissed, because she missed out on an appt, IMHO, not your fault.  She had her chances.  If you really want to see B, you might just make a date with her for next month....If you feel she doesn't want to see her, since she was second fiddle, move on.  There are plenty more out there, her loss, not yours....

Paloman, I'm not sure I understand fully what you're saying.

the holidays and the fact that the proposed date wasn't until next month, you should have given "A" more time to respond. As has already been said, you could have used a lot more tact in telling "B" that you needed to change the date without saying that you had another date scheduled that day.

In order to rule out bad references or anything you can think of, why not join P411, Datecheck or Rs2k? I understand where provider B was coming from (maybe a time waster issue which I am sure was the last thing on your mind) but believe me, is just easier to request a date right of the bat from any of those sites with the Oks already in place. Yes, sometimes references are re-checked but majority of my dates go really smooth with gentlemen who use those versus endless emails or phone tag issues. Some gentlemen have also stated that they give providers a window of time to reply for example: 4 days within initial contact, reference check, last details etc.. . If you set a window and the provider doesn't do her part then is only logical to contact provider B, C, D...Z... I feel that if the provider is proactive and on top of her business, the issues of consistency could be avoided with communication so nobody should have tons of backup plans unless her calendar is very inflexible or last minute requests arise.

Completely agree!!

I joined P411, but either the providers I've sought out don't belong, or they belong but still want references to contact. I don't have any references on P411, just their screening. (I'm still new to this,  only saw one provider several times this year, and she doesn't belong).

Look for newbie friendly providers on P411, I have given tons of oks to new guys who approached me in a polite, proactive nice and pretty straight forward manner about the booking info. We all have to start somewhere right? and I am pretty sure a provider out there would be pleased to spend time with you because you seem a nice and genuine person. I also think that you would benefit from reading this board, as well as the self help policies, It doesn't hurt to gain more knowledge about this world to avoid any situation. Good luck to you my dear.. !!!!

If you're not available on the days she names...then you're not available.  

Maybe I should just be an asshole. It seems to work well for the other guys on this forum.

If you contacted provider A and she did not or could not respond promptly I can see contacting a 2nd provider. Very common and nothing wrong with it however: if you then contact provider B who DID respond and was screening you with a definitive day for an answer; sounds as if she (provider B) did contact you on agreed upon day.  Then in the middle of your interaction provider A pops back into the picture.  Honestly ? Maybe you could have told provider A you contacted another due to no email response.  Provider A would have to understand whereas she was away etc. Provider B sounds as though she did things correctly and then got bumped.  Neither should be so upset as to not see you in the future but once you passed on provider 1 and contacted #2 maybe should have followed through with her and told prov #1 another time.

you don't always have to tell the whole truth.  Don't be an asshole, that will get you nothing but trouble in the long run.  Be nice, just don't overdo it.

not use the same hotel over and over for an incall location. Providers need to use various hotels for incalls so as not to attract undo attention. Stay safe by staying stealth.

Here's the thing: Provider B got back with you promptly, and went to the trouble of checking your references and everything. She specifically told you that she was going to get back with you at a certain time after verifying you. When she contacted you again to say that all was well, she basically found out that she did that for nothing. Her time was wasted. IMO, what you should have done was tell Provider A that since you hadn't heard back from her, you had already contacted someone else. Granted, you probably should have given Provider A more time to respond (it was a holiday, after all), but I guess it's too late for that now.  

lisaluvs, I don't know if this makes any difference as to your reply, but with Provider A, we had discussed a specific day and time. With Provider B it was "some weekend in January", so it wasn't specific at all.  Provider A had already screened me (although, as I said earlier, I thought another provider could possibly have said something bad about me since Provider A's first screening). Provider B had to check referrals, which she wasn't able to do until Thursday or Friday.

You might want to read my reply to lisaluvs.  

Got it. Still, you should have given Provider A more time to respond before even contacting Provider B. Truth is, you got impatient and Provider B suffered because of it (you did say that she got back with you as promised and said that all was good with your references), so I really don't blame her for being annoyed. If you had instead seen Provider B, Provider A would have been annoyed, and rightfully so.  

I had been thinking more along the lines of a hotel family (i.e. Marriott, Ritz, Renaissance, and a few more are all in the Marriott family, for example). But yea, never a good idea to use the same hotel over and over again to see clients.

Hooker A,B,C all the way to Z does not respond ......bye bye , call the next hooker!
Look in the phone book when your air conditioner quits .... Call A,B and company C ..... Not response , bye bye , call the next company !

Your original post did not say you actually scheduled a date and a time with provider A. I do see that your original post was dated 12/27 and you stated you contacted provider A at the beginning of the week.  Based on your post date I am assuming this was Christmas week with Christmas eve falling on a Tues and Christmas on a wed. So if you had already scheduled with provider A why the upset over a January date?  You did mention provider A generally replies within hours. However on Christmas week many are occupied with family etc. So yes if you never scheduled a time with lady #2 and you had with lady#1 then I see why you are keeping your word. The question is why contact another lady if you were screened, scheduled? Either way  scheduling issues come up and if you never actually scheduled a specific date with lady #2 then she shouldn't be angry.. I can see her frustration but not anger.  Too many fish in the sea for you or she to worry about it.

My handling of this was really poor. Fortunately, Provider B emailed me this evening and said she wasn't upset, but that going through the screening is a pain, especially when nothing comes of it. She made a point of saying that February is really busy for her on several fronts. She may (emphasis on "may") have left the door open for something in the future.

There's been a lot of drama the last several weeks, and it hasn't been of my choosing.  

but she's truthful.  You should have simply said, can't do it then & suggest a later meeting date.   As it stands, I'd call B if you get a chance at a later date.  She might be busy or might have free time.

they actually schedule, reserve the appointment, and the day before say "I'm canceling tomorrow. I found a different woman to see."  

However, a little white lie along the lines of something came up and had to postpone the trip andask to reschedule would have been a good idea.  Something along the lines of the company you work for is sending you somewhere else first.  Provider b never needed to hear you were going with provider a instead, although it was right, sometimes people, male and female alike get upset when, for lack of another word, being turned away for another