as you guys know, i give FBSM ( i didn't know what that acronym stood for until today). the massage i give is very intimate, close body to body contact, light breathing and that sort of thing, very sensual. well guys moan ( so do i) and i expect that, but i don't often expect when they ask for a b/j or f/s. it feels awkward to say no and it kinda ruins the moment for me. i enjoy the intimacy of the massage but when a guy is trying to pay more for f/s or b/j i just feel like the intimacy flies out the door. i am always sure to let guys no prior to meeting that i am not f/s. how can i handle this situation properly without making him feel uncomfortable. i do find myself becoming more withdrawn from the guy after more services have been requested.

Your ad and your website clearly indicate your limits, but your rates may lead some guys to believe there may be more on your menu.  A lot of guys will expect more than just a HJ for 170-180 for an hour.  You might want to change your BP ad to indicate that BJ is not on the menu, since your TER profile clearly says that.  But my thoughts would be that you are probably asking too much for just a HJ.  I know I would not pay your rate for a HJ.

Good luck,
Swim

#1 your website shows you nude... In intimate and compromising positions that say " Hit it from behind " Or Yes I want to F*** If you dont want a man to presume you dont provide the full package,dont be "Who me,... Oh no " Girl  and represent your self as if you do.

If all you provide is FBSM, There is no need to show as much of your privates as you do As in you Vajagay Because thats all men will think about.

Also, Set your rules, When you speak to them let them know this apt is only for a FBSM... thats all ... Is that ok ? Simple.

I do it to my FBSM, Apts, And no complaints.

I agree with swimtrekr. Your rate might be the reason for the confusion, if any. Or, it might just be that you make them so horny during your session that they just can't help but to ask for more. wouldn't you if you were a guy?

if you look at your website and just check the photos and the rates (typical)   --  then you're advertising something you're not selling.

First of all, now I know how to spell "Vajagay"...

OK, to the question at hand...Natalie you recently posted about a "no-show" appointment as well...I think both topics are actually linked.  Bella is right, your site looks very provocative and suggestive.  You have to consider the context, guys looking at your site and there looking for FS or at least a BJ, guys being guys will think what they want to despite the limitations listed in your profile and services section.  There are plenty of provider sites that say there won't be any sex (for LE reasons); so you have a horny guy looking to get laid, he sees your pics, sees the price, and reads the obligatory "no sex" message...and thinks "yeah right"...and you find yourself in the spot you mention in your OP.  I'm also guessing the no show you had was a case of a guy thinking this way and realizing before the appt that he probably wasn't going to "get any", so he foudn someone else and just baled on you.

Just my opinion and you are surely in your right to not exceed your limits but I think you do need to be a bit clearer, specifically in your direct correspondence with a potential client.

I'm surprised you don't encounter more problems with clients. Your site is more suggestive & shows more skin than most FS GFEs. Why guys pay for this shit I'll never know?  It's not any better than a lap dance at a strip club. Just a fuckin waste of money & a tease.

Nothing wrong with a good hand job,some of us actually prefer them.Some of my most intense O's have come, by way of the hand.
It's hard to find someone,that can do with their mouth or pussy,,,what they can do with their hand.IMHO!!!
Maybe,i'm not seeing the right girls?,,,LOL!!!

No matter what you put on your website (in your case the words "I am not a full service provider"), what you tell a guy on the phone or in an E-mail when he makes the appointment, or what you say to him at the beginning of the session when he walks through the door, you can not control what some horny hobbyists ask for in the heat of the moment. If the mere fact that a hobbyist asks for a BJ or full service in the middle of your massage will ruin the mood and make you more withdrawn from him, then frankly this is not a business for you. A hobbyist is trying to get the most service for his money. If you do not ask you do not get. You simply can not let a request in a middle of a session like that bother you. In fact you should expect a request prob. more often than not.    

Now when the hobbyist asks you for additional services, just say "I'm sorry honey, I only offer a massage". 99 out of 100 hobbyists will be fine with it and accept it. The mood is NOT RUINED. If you get a hobbyist who insists, you again tell him politely but perhaps more sternly what your rules are. (YOU SET THE RULES, NOT THE HOBBYIST). If the hobbyist still persists, then threaten to end the session immediately. In this latter case, unfortunatly, you are having a session with a hobbyist who does not understand the meaning of the word no. It will happen; frankly, not sure what you can do about it.

As far as your rates and photos; that's your business. If you want to charge 400 for a massage/HJ, your right to do so. If you want to present your naked ass in the air, then you have a right to do so. It does not mean or imply that you are full service. However, you have to understand that this is a hobby of the "unspoken word". Most gentleman, even if they read the words on your website, "I am not a full service provider" will presume that this is just your way of saying "I am not selling sex, but my time and companionship". Of course, they will presume (again the hobby of the unspoken word) between the lines, they will get laid. In your case, it's a wrong assumption, but one that many hobbyists might make. And also, keep in mind that the higher your rates (and especially if they are the same as FS providers) you can expect a hobbyist to try and ask for additional services.

The first thing you have to understand is that some guys are always going to try and get you to do more.  This is never going to change.

That being said, your Back Page ad says nothing about you not being a full service provider.  You are relying on subtlety and omission to get guys to see you. That is never a good idea.  If you are not offering full service you need to be very specific about that in your ads. Telling guys on the phone after they have seen your ad will simply lead many of them to believe that you are just trying to protect yourself from LE and that things will be different once the appointment starts.

Also, how you design your site is up to you but I have to agree with others who say that there is entirely too much nudity on it. Aside from the fact that it's unnecessary it is also only a matter of time before some less scrupulous providers, or their pimps, start stealing your pictures and using them for their own ads.

Again, unfortunately, saying no is always going to be part of the gig for an FBSM gal regardless of how carefully you advertise your services.

thanks for all the advice guys.

i never realized that my ad looked that provocative since there are no like open legs or vajayjay shots (well there's only one ). i have had male/female friends see it and they thought the site was pretty sensual looking, except for the back shot i just liked that one

when i first started posting on bp i just never thought to put "no f/s" honestly, and i guess i just never changed it because my ads automatically repost.

and it's not so much that i feel withdrawn from the guy i guess, i just feel like he's going to feel uncomfortable if i have to say no. it's not that i mind him asking, i just want our time together to be intimate and sensual, and for us both to feel really relaxed.

i will certainly update my bp ad though. well actually i shouldn't be posting on bp much longer, my eros ad goes up today i'm really excited about that, and i was sure to to put no f/s in my eros ad.

also, how do i update my TER profile? i have changed my number, and i would like for the ad listed to be my eros ad instead of bp. thanks, sorry for the long response

Natalie

I have to say my most intense O was by a lady's well lubed hand...  There are times when it's nice to be selfish & just be concerned with myself.
I recently visited a new (to me) delightful FBSM artist.  She opened her top & made it clear at the beginning that that touching was on the menu but nothing else was coming off.  
Other FBSM providers have stayed clothed until the ending.  Some have gone topless & others nude & provided acess for touching.  

I have not checked your ads but the clients may feel they were mislead despite the text & statements.  I have to ask you, how is the repeat business...  that may be the most revealing about how the clients feel.  

Be sure you are not misleading.  IF you are not misleading, then you should not feel bad about enforcing your rules.
skb

hey shudaknown, well i do my massages completely nude. body to body. i don't think i am misleading, i am ALWAYS sure to inform the guys that i am not f/s. and i totally understand if that's what a guy is looking for, i do not want to trick or deceive anyone for sure. i feel that doing so could possibly put me in harms way if they were expecting something different than what i offer.

i have quite a few repeat clients, i would say most are repeat honestly. there are two really sweet guys that i have seen consistently once a week since i started doing this about three months ago. i get texts and emails form guys telling me that they had a great time and that makes me really happy to know that i am learning and getting better. i get great tips and really good advice from the guys i see.

and in my personal life, i usually prefer to date and be with really sweet gentleman that are older than myself. and i have met some really great guys. and i just want the massage to feel comfortable, erotic, relaxing and soothing.

You can update your profile by filling a problem report.  Click on the "report a problem" box at the top of your profile...

For what it's worth, I like the back shot too!

If you don't want to provide anything more, don't! It's YOUR body, don't let anyone push you into something that makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable. Honestly, I'd post on your site or tell your client clearly that FS is not an option. If they insist, kick them out. You might feel rude asking them to leave, but your safety is first.

-Anya

and the picture of you on the stairs makes me think I would want to see that in person, in other words, even though the text says no, the pictures are saying yes, yes, yes

just my two cents,

You are just cock teasing and for your rate there should be more on the "menu".  I don't know any guy who wants to have a chick breathe on him get him Hot and bothered and walk away with a woody.  I enjoy massages and for a reputable one (non-provider) It tops out around 100.00 w/tip.  So 80.00 to watch you dance around in your panties.  I can blow that at a strip club.  Go to an AMP down the street and walk away a happy camper for the eve.