For the first time in 8 years. The wife wants to be the one managing the family finances.  The intention is to try to find ways to save money. So she wants to keep track of the money coming in and out which would reveal to her my paychecks and the monthly withdrawals that I make for my hobby funds.  I am in panic mode right now because my paychecks are much bigger than what I have been telling the wife; and once she saw the periodic ATM withdrawals, it's going to be deadly for me!  She never looked at my bank accounts before.  I wonder how do you guys handle your hobby funds so that the wife won't know how much money you are making and how many withdrawals you are making each month.  

Most companies, if you are using direct deposit, will deposit funds into multiple bank accounts.  Have 80% (or whatever) got to the main account, 20% to the hobby account.

If you have direct deposit of your paychecks, you can tell your employer to deposit part of it into one bank account, and part of it into another bank account that wifey doesn't know anything about.  Take the ATM withdrawals from the 2nd bank account.  

Aside from splitting your direct deposit, which could look funny if she looks at statements (look honey, I took a pay cut at work), you could use your debit card at stores and get a little extra cash back each... extra $40 added to the walmart or target bill may not draw suspicion.  Then just squirrel that away and save up for the provider of your choice.

If she has access to all of your bank accounts and credit cards, nothing you do is going to go unnoticed. Just make up a reason why you need x amount of money, but she might tell you to "forget about it."

I wish I could give you better news.

This is a great suggestion. I would have never thought of this.  Would you suggest the "hobby account" be with a different bank from my regular account, like one account with BOA and the other with Citi, or it doesn't really matter?  

You're going to have a hell of a time coming up with a way to retroactively cover your tracks.  

He could tell her that he has a gambling addiction!

Hopefully she will buy your explanation that you've been "gambling" (maybe get a bunch of old lottery tickets from the guy at the 7-11) or pick up some losing tickets at local race track. "Strip club" with your pals or "poker night" may also help - maybe a combination of these excuses. Anything else and your ass will be in divorce court!
Good luck to you!!

I have no idea on the split tax part but if you do set up a hobby account with a different bank you better make damn sure it doesn't pay interest and you better not use your home address.  "Hunny, what is this 1099INT form from B of A, we don't have an account there"?  Uh oh!  You also never know when a bank will mail stuff to your address even if you have signed up for electronic delivery of your statements.  

Too much - was thinking the same damn thing!  What goes over best?  Sex?  Drugs?  Gambling?  Probably gambling....or divorce maybe?

you'll need to cover those old periodic ATM withdrawals. If the wife goes on line I'm pretty sure like most on line bank accounts, she can probably go back far enough to see the trail of those withdrawals.   You may have to close out that account and open a new account.  

I have used a second bank account and had statements sent paperlessly. Direct deposit and split it up that way you dont have to worry about moving money around friday mornings.  
         

For covering up the past, I close the old account so what happened with that old account is gone.
For the future, creat a new account with my bank, and another account for hobby purpose with a bank my wife doesn't know the name of, and set up split direct deposits to the two accounts, and only do withdrawals from the hobby account.

For the previous atm withdrawals you can always say you were using the money for petty cash and some of the withdrawals were for a rainy day fund that you keep in a safe or somewhere else without her access.  Also, try to convince her you are better at handling the finances for the family.

For 5k, I will lie for you.

OMG, it is hilarious to see what some men will go through just to get a fkin nut bwahahaha. Hooray for Capitalism.

Don't forget to use a different address for your hobby bank. After all this it would really suck to get busted by a random mailing to the home. Also, have an answer ready as to why all of the accounts your wife now has access to are all only a few weeks old. If she's smart enough to run the finances she will be smart enough to notice the lack of history on everything you give her. Best advice would be to try and talk her out of running the books. Maybe scale back the fun for awhile so money isn't so tight around the house and maybe she'll drop it if there is no need to save money. Either that or start talking to ALL of the best divorce attorneys in your town. Even if you don't hire them if you have a consultation they cannot rep your wife as it would be a conflict of interest.  
 Can't remember who says this but I'm stealing it anyway...
     
     Still not a lawyer..
 Good luck.

I think this "story" about wanting to look for ways to save money is just a story because she already knows something is going on and she aims to find out what it is.  She probably thinks your having an affair and spending money on that bitch.  So, me thinks the jig is up.

know as a provider I shouldn't be suggesting it, but maybe it's time to cut back. If she's trying to save, then she knows a lot of money is going out. Or you're saying no to her when she asks for cash. Do you not have a joint bank account? There should be three. One for her(for whatever the hell she wants), one for you, and one for all the family stuff to come out of(mortgage, kids stuff, groceries, insurance, etc). You can explain it away as for holidays and birthdays you don't want her seeing where you're shopping and ruining the surprise. (mint.com is a great tool for managing money)

otherwise it will be too much for a coincidence to happen. Did your bank recently increase services charges, account fees, cut benefits on a debit or credit card or something like that? An excuse like that might work.

...Scientology auditing. Either way you've been breaking bad.

When wife and I got married, we created a joint account. We kept our individual accounts. We get paid from work into our individual accounts and have a certain amount sent to the joint account for bills every week.  So we each have our own spending money from our individual accounts that we can spend however we want.

My wife doesn't work so we only have two accounts.  One joint account and one individual account for me from when I was single.  She never looked at them nor care where the money were.  I would deposit my paychecks to my individual account and move some money to the joint account each month.  I believe she has no concept of what an individual account is meant to be used.  She just thinks everything is the family money.  Your wife actually understands how things work.  

OR she might be planning to cash & dash herself.  
Years ago, a buddy of mine had his wife bail, cleaned out the joint account, left him with the kids.  By the time she'd run through the cash.   He had moved everything into an account with his mother.  He let her come back but there was never enough in the joint account to do more than current month's bills.
If you've been making substantial cash withdrawals...  you are screwed.  Is there a casino near you?  What about a knee-cap buster (bookie)?  Sign up for Gamblers Anonymous.  Or claim strip clubs...  Or ??   It has to be cash losses.
If you file joint taxes, she will find out your real income.

and file them separately?  For example, you make 200k. Can you file one jointly for say 150k, and one individually for 50k.  You might have to pay more taxes on the individual one, but assuming the extra tax burden is not a concern, is it even possible to do that?

So you have no idea how much your spouse is making and don't care.

You can't file two separate tax returns with the same SSN on them. IRS would flag it, reject it and you would be at risk for an audit.

the only problem I could see her noticing is the fact that the account is new. If I was her I would wonder why you closed the old one. Just my opinion.

well, to have a new account, could you just "loose" your checkbook or ATM card? ANd I just get a little extra money from the store, and periodically place it on a WalMart Money card..

But in my opinion, I'd not want to be married if I was living in such extreme fear of my partner. Yes you need to hide the money in a safety deposit maybe. Or just tell her that you want to handle the paycheck and tell her she can handle something else. You don't have to agree with everything. You have say so. Be strong and speak your mind

It is all traceable...that's the problem. No matter WHAT you do, if she has the books, you are not going to be able to hide anything especially come tax season. If you get a raise, that would be on your damn check stub.

Two step process.   One close old account and open new joint account.  Say that you heard another bank is easier for two people to access and manage.  It might look shady but I'm giessing you'd rather have her wonder than know.      Two- Split the direct deposit  Ultimately, if you're in a position that she's worried about the money then you'll have to tone down the habit.  Thoisands per month is only doable for people with enough money that neither cares enough to look in depth at the financials.  An alternative could be hiring a professional to manage your money and insuring that they can be trusted with you secret.

Exactly.   If you are in this game you should be the one managing the finances.