So the past two days I just enjoyed some time (my firsts) with two different providers in Chicago. I can't stop thinking about it! The first girl was okay but the second girl yesterday was UNBELIEVABLE...but now I'm heading back home on Saturday and I'm really worried I might leave a trace on my computer or that it may slip out of my unconscious or something.
So to those of you in LTR/married, how do you do it? How do you rationalize? I've been thinking that it's just a different level than what I have with my wife and it's something that will, for the rest of my life, just be a secret I keep to myself and you anonymous internet people. But I'd love more perspectives.
I had thought I was doing a reasonably good job of compartmentalizing my hobby world with my SO world, but they ended up colliding anyways. In retrospect I could have been more discreet, but sometimes we tend to get careless if we are not assessing our situation carefully. This was before the good advice found on TER was available to me, so I think I'd be a more careful person today.
My (now ex) wife said to me that she thinks I wanted to get caught, and on reflection there could be some truth to that. How do deal with that kind of death instinct could prove the most dicey problem of all, and it is seldom brought up on here.
Especially cookies & history (I have mine set to clear on every shut down). Do not save anything. You should have a hobby email with a different log in. Don't use a service like google which tries to connect everything... will connect your civie world with hobby world. Then run CC Cleaner on your computer... over writes everything erased to Mil Standards.
And a hobby phone. My hobby phone is pretty deeply hidden, shut off & nothing saved on it either. But if you are only going to do this on vacation or business trips, a new trac fone is cheap. Throw it away & start over each time. Watch out for EZ Pass & GPS which can show you to have been places you can't explain. Never use company phones or equipment or internet to access adult sites... guys have been hired for this (unless you own the company & can stand the heat). These days there are lots of cheap devises which can get access anywhere... again, keep it separate.
I had thought I was doing a reasonably good job of compartmentalizing my hobby world with my SO world, but they ended up colliding anyways. In retrospect I could have been more discreet, but sometimes we tend to get careless if we are not assessing our situation carefully. This was before the good advice found on TER was available to me, so I think I'd be a more careful person today. My (now ex) wife said to me that she thinks I wanted to get caught, and on reflection there could be some truth to that. How do deal with that kind of death instinct could prove the most dicey problem of all, and it is seldom brought up on here.
Thanks for the start of some good advice. Do you have some specific strategies to help not get caught? Thanks!
There were two very low tech things that tripped me up when I got caught:
First, don't give a hotel your home address. They might mail something to it and then you'll be finding the SO opening it up on you.
Second, don't play right in the town you live in. My SO saw my car parked out in front of the hotel in our city, and she put 2 + 2 together and I got caught.
Be a constant reader of the boards, and you'll see other pitfalls detailed.
I look at it as I wouldn't stay married without this hobby!
BINGO! That's the same way I feel about it. Before I tried a few girls I was ready for a divorce. Now I know there are different kinds of needs. I feel like dexter though, not the serial killer part but just the part about having a dark side of yourself that nobody else can EVER know about. Like I can't even tell any of my friends about it because it feels like most would not want to know. What a trippy mindfuck!
Im new to this as well. On the journey to do my first. Definitely won't be my last. I'm getting married and having a kid.... and well I cant keep my urges to myself without going insane. I need other pussy... I am getting a burner phone, different emails,k using a different name and address. Cant wait to start
I'm relatively new to this and not a frequent hobbyist, so I didn't want to deal with two phones. I decided instead to get a second pay-as-you-go SIM card for my unlocked smartphone. I made sure it was from a different provider so that I would't mix up the two cards and text my wife from the hobby phone and my date from my main phone. So far, so good.
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