Newbie - FAQ

This guy gets it. -e-
eltoro 5 Reviews 2737 reads
posted
1 / 33

A question for all you vets out there...when contacting a provider for the first time, do you give your real name or your alias? Presumably you'd have to give your real name right? So that the lady could do her verifying? I dont see any way around this but just wanted to know how the more experienced gentleman would contact a lady and give info? (no way in hell am i filling out a form, i'll stick to sending emails)

Also, I have yet to see a provider nor do I currently have DC/411...looking for tips to get started and be as discreet as possible. My apologies if this question(s) is poorly articulated or previously covered  

Thank you

GaviaImmer 1221 reads
posted
3 / 33

Do not ever give out your last name, personal phone, employment information, invite a provider to your house or share other personal information.

Do not voluntarily share your city and state of residence but in some cases this info is known just by where you play. If you have unique first name like "gvgfdshds" which will be easy to track down on the Internet or for background search websites to trace, then I would not give out my first name too.

Try looking for newbie friendly providers who might have alternative methods of screening or Date-Check. The downside with Date-Check is that it is a domestic company and no guarantee your screening information is actually destroyed.

As far as P411 is concerned. There are many more questions than answers with them right now.

radiodictum 35 Reviews 772 reads
posted
4 / 33
Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 1339 reads
posted
5 / 33

Totally up to you what you're comfortable sharing, but I (and many other ladies) would never open the door to someone without knowing exactly who is on the other side.  

Posted By: GaviaImmer
Do not ever give out your last name, personal phone, employment information, invite a provider to your house or share other personal information.  
   
 Do not voluntarily share your city and state of residence but in some cases this info is known just by where you play. If you have unique first name like "gvgfdshds" which will be easy to track down on the Internet or for background search websites to trace, then I would not give out my first name too.  
   
 Try looking for newbie friendly providers who might have alternative methods of screening or Date-Check. The downside with Date-Check is that it is a domestic company and no guarantee your screening information is actually destroyed.  
   
 As far as P411 is concerned. There are many more questions than answers with them right now.

scazdude 29 Reviews 831 reads
posted
6 / 33

If a lady requires your first name and you want to see her give it to her.  Most likely you've done your research on her.  If not, you need to.  Fill out her form or send her an email with the information she requires to screen you.  If you can, get a hobby phone that you use just for the hobby.  If she doesn't get what she requires then most likely you won't be meeting her any time soon.

GaviaImmer 818 reads
posted
7 / 33

information they need to keep them safe. I and no one else argues with that.

Every guy also has a choice to make with their level of risk and amount of information they share. The OP asked for advice and I offered suggestions based on my level of risk and philosophy. It may or may not be suitable for him, that is his choice to make.

If one lady doesn't want to see me, I respect that and simply look for someone who will.

I know I sleep well at night. I don't worry if LE will come knocking on my door after the latest bust. I am not the guy who posted asking for advice after a provider blackmailed him. I am not the guy that posted wondering what to do when a provider he trusted stole his very expensive watch and iPad from his house and then had her BF? call and threaten him if he dared report the incident to the police. These are well reviewed TER providers mind you and not some BP providers.

hiddenhills 143 Reviews 943 reads
posted
8 / 33

Even when I was a newb with no reviews and no white list refs. As was mentioned some ladies won't see you if you don't give them the screening info they want.  However, other providers will see you without you giving up your real name. It all about you and the provider being comfortable with each other before the session.  Only you can decide what info to supply.  
 

Posted By: eltoro
A question for all you vets out there...when contacting a provider for the first time, do you give your real name or your alias? Presumably you'd have to give your real name right? So that the lady could do her verifying? I dont see any way around this but just wanted to know how the more experienced gentleman would contact a lady and give info? (no way in hell am i filling out a form, i'll stick to sending emails)  
   
 Also, I have yet to see a provider nor do I currently have DC/411...looking for tips to get started and be as discreet as possible. My apologies if this question(s) is poorly articulated or previously covered  
   
 Thank you

wallballer 5 Reviews 1073 reads
posted
9 / 33

I understand the ladies wanting it . . .  

but for me there are enough ladies who are satisfied with date-check or P411. I realize that I've given the name to them, but some things can't be helped.

I had to do it starting out but not more

Cosette 1003 reads
posted
10 / 33

That someone who is well reviewed and makes a profession out of this would risk it over a watch and iPad she could buy on her own. You sound like a hypochondriac.

natashalynne See my TER Reviews 903 reads
posted
11 / 33

that don't even pass the smell test.  Don't believe every rumor you hear, and when you do hear things, give it some critical thought to see if it seems plausible.  In my (very experienced) opinion, P411 is light years better than Date-check.

Cosette 762 reads
posted
12 / 33

You draw your own limits just like women will draw theirs.  

Just know the consequences of those and be ok with being turned down and you'll be fine.  

You don't want your name to be provided then you MUST get P411, I would say that based on experience that's the most efficient one. Get it set up and find someone newbie friendly. She may ask you more stuff or require something like having a drink outside or meeting in a public place. Everyone's different.  

If you don't want to get P411 then be prepared to share info.  

If you don't want to fill out a form, be prepared to have emails not answered by those who say you must fill it out.  

You can do anything you want. But you have to be prepared to do at least do one.  

As for one way being better than the other, I don't agree, it's whatever makes you comfortable.

GaviaImmer 891 reads
posted
13 / 33

Fine if that is what you think. The truth is supply is unlimited and demand is limited. "This is the way it has always been" might be for you but not with everyone else. I don't get all bent out of shape over one, two or several providers that might not want to see me. Like I said above, I just look for someone who does.  

Happened just two days ago on a local TER discussion board until the OP removed his thread because everyone told him he was making a bad situation worse and LE might be monitoring the board. He wanted to file a false claim with his insurance company to get reimbursed for the watch by telling them the watch was "lost" when it was in fact "stolen," big difference in order to bypass filing a police report. He offered a $5k reward to anyone who would get in touch with the provider, buy the watch from her and sell it back to him.
Posted By: Cosette
That someone who is well reviewed and makes a profession out of this would risk it over a watch and iPad she could buy on her own. You sound like a hypochondriac.

natashalynne See my TER Reviews 710 reads
posted
14 / 33

There are not many established girls who are going to see someone without references AND without personal info.  It's for our own safety, and it's just a part of being a newbie.

More than likely you'll have to give your personal info to a couple of girls to start, and then after you have references, or are an established P411 member, you will have to give it less often, if at all.  Sure, some girls still will not see you without personal info no matter what.  But others will as long as you have references and a number of P411 okays.

Cosette 831 reads
posted
15 / 33

Dude, your points and arguments are all over the place.

You sound ignorant by saying supply is unlimited and demand is limited. What world do you live in? And that has NOTHING to do with the question at hand. You're saying to the OP that because supply is "unlimited" that gives an upper hand?? Not sure what your point to that sentence is.

Then you talk about theft, what does that have to do with providing real info, that could happen whether he provides name or not. You mentioned inviting someone into their own home, again theft can happen in your home or not, that is NOT what the OP is asking.

You are scaring someone new into doing something, that is not what good advice is. And when you do that, the entire "hobby" suffers

Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 706 reads
posted
16 / 33
weipeikei See my TER Reviews 823 reads
posted
17 / 33

Come on, how many other people are named Steve in the world?! Your photo is not out there advertising an illegal service to thousands. There's no need to protect something so trivial. Use your real first name, please. It's insulting that you wouldn't trust us with such a small thing. My name is fake so family can't look up my profile and come across photos of me half naked advertising sex for $. Your name is shared with me privately, and it is an intimate thing...

 I don't want you to lose your fucking wood because you told me your name is Tom and I'm saying the wrong fucking thing.

It's like lying about hair color.. there are a lot of brown haired people and guys named Steven or Doug in the world

eltoro 5 Reviews 746 reads
posted
19 / 33

Many thanks to you all for the insight, I suppose the best course of action would be to get a dc/411 and go from there

MsChayse 685 reads
posted
20 / 33

The girl this guy was talking about has six reveiews between June 2013 & Jan 2014. I hardly call that "WELL" reviewed.

Posted By: GaviaImmer
I know I sleep well at night. I don't worry if LE will come knocking on my door after the latest bust. I am not the guy who posted asking for advice after a provider blackmailed him. I am not the guy that posted wondering what to do when a provider he trusted stole his very expensive watch and iPad from his house and then had her BF? call and threaten him if he dared report the incident to the police. These are well reviewed TER providers mind you and not some BP providers.

1192967 45 Reviews 647 reads
posted
21 / 33
AnotherDonJohn 791 reads
posted
22 / 33

To you and the OP, this is about thinking short term and long term.  

Short term, we think with our little heads and yes, if you want to see a certain lady and you're thinking of building up your track record you could agree to give her your name, etc. If you make it to the long term as a veteran hobbyist who hasn't made any major mistakes as yet, you're going to be regretting those times (current and past) you gave your name away unless you become one if the few guys on ter who is blackmail proof. You'll find that verification services and reputation will cover 90% of the ladies you'll want to see.  

For me now, you have to be Jessica Alba or Charlize Theron to get my real name. Although a cautionary tale is that a provider recently stalked me at my kid's school to get it.  

Definitely get a burner phone #, anonymous email. There are other tricks beyond the scope of this thread. But this is a start.  
Posted By: scazdude
If a lady requires your first name and you want to see her give it to her.  Most likely you've done your research on her.  If not, you need to.  Fill out her form or send her an email with the information she requires to screen you.  If you can, get a hobby phone that you use just for the hobby.  If she doesn't get what she requires then most likely you won't be meeting her any time soon.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 3:52:32 PM

TheGovernor 142 Reviews 785 reads
posted
24 / 33

Hi Natashalynme,   Why is P411 better than Datecheck?
 

Posted By: natashalynne
that don't even pass the smell test.  Don't believe every rumor you hear, and when you do hear things, give it some critical thought to see if it seems plausible.  In my (very experienced) opinion, P411 is light years better than Date-check.  

1192967 45 Reviews 768 reads
posted
25 / 33

..."well reviewed" but one other thing to consider along with those 6 reviews is who are the reviewers. If there are two or more veteran reviewers (especially if I have already determined I can trust their reviews) I would consider that "well reviewed".

I have no idea about this particular instance but thought it would be useful to add this info here.

1192967 45 Reviews 691 reads
posted
26 / 33

...he would expect you to call him by that false name and wouldn't have an issue with it when you did.  

Of course if he forgot what name he gave you that could be an uh-oh moment.

 
There was a provider I saw several times a few years ago that knew my board handle from the agency board where she worked. She called me by that handle as often as not. Wasn't a problem for me.

-- Modified on 2/15/2014 7:05:29 PM

AnotherDonJohn 711 reads
posted
27 / 33

To summarize a little so that you are clear on your options...
1. You may have to give a lot of information, including real name and workplace, to make a PARTICULAR provider comfortable with seeing you. This is especially when we're just starting out, but some providers may still require a lot even when we become established. I haven't encountered that lately but I'm sure that exists.
2. Most providers will be comfortable using verification services such as P411/DC, along with provider references and your TER identity, to verify you. The reality is that after a hobbyist gets a few reviews under his belt and a few solid provider references, there would be plenty of providers willing to see him with less than perfect info about him.

-- Modified on 2/15/2014 8:20:27 PM

eltoro 5 Reviews 763 reads
posted
28 / 33

great advice and thanks, yea i have always used a burner and side email for my fun and seems like a smart precaution for this as well  

Posted By: AnotherDonJohn
To you and the OP, this is about thinking short term and long term.  
   
 Short term, we think with our little heads and yes, if you want to see a certain lady and you're thinking of building up your track record you could agree to give her your name, etc. If you make it to the long term as a veteran hobbyist who hasn't made any major mistakes as yet, you're going to be regretting those times (current and past) you gave your name away unless you become one if the few guys on ter who is blackmail proof. You'll find that verification services and reputation will cover 90% of the ladies you'll want to see.  
   
 For me now, you have to be Jessica Alba or Charlize Theron to get my real name. Although a cautionary tale is that a provider recently stalked me at my kid's school to get it.  
   
 Definitely get a burner phone #, anonymous email. There are other tricks beyond the scope of this thread. But this is a start.  
   
Posted By: scazdude
If a lady requires your first name and you want to see her give it to her.  Most likely you've done your research on her.  If not, you need to.  Fill out her form or send her an email with the information she requires to screen you.  If you can, get a hobby phone that you use just for the hobby.  If she doesn't get what she requires then most likely you won't be meeting her any time soon.
-- Modified on 2/15/2014 3:52:32 PM

QueenBia See my TER Reviews 697 reads
posted
29 / 33

If you can be verified my a reputable provider, or not?

I do not rely on references, but if I know the provider personally who will vouch for you your real name is not necessary.  If I don't, then yes I need your real name to screen you & P411 is not my preferred method.  When someone contacts me via P411 it does not mean they bypass my booking instructions I still direct them to my website.

HeathersLuv4u See my TER Reviews 826 reads
posted
30 / 33

and u rarely have a problem w a client ripping me off, hurting me, pissing me off, etc.
Men w successful careers are rarely hesitant to provide screening/validating info to prove such.
However, those with bad intentions whether it he by over staying, shorting her money, hurting her, being a dick, serial killer, etc are the ones with something to hide. Don't be that guy.  
Acting shady leaves us with the impression you have more to hide than a successful career and wife.
It all depends on how you hunt. Shoot low and you may shoot yourself in the foot.
Be mindful of whom you see and whom you provide with your personal info

natashalynne See my TER Reviews 669 reads
posted
31 / 33
Cosette 675 reads
posted
32 / 33
nahtynikkey See my TER Reviews 867 reads
posted
33 / 33

Have to agree with you on this one. When gents do not have provider references, or are not members of P411/date-check, I do require REAL first/last name, e-mail (work and home), phone #, and work info...most have no problem providing this information, and I have never had a problem with any of those guys. The ones who only want to provide a first name (which is many times not their real first name), and no other info, are usually the one's who turn out to be a problem.  

Ensure you are seeing a well-reviewed lady, and the horror stories you hear some of the other's speak of, will probably never happen to you. In 97% of cases, the bad stories I've heard from gents I have met with, were because they saw a lady with no/very few/questionable reviews. If her reviews jump all over the place, ask your self why. If her reviews are mostly positive and consistent for an extended amount of time, then one usually has nothing to worry about.  

Just like guys claim they have so much to lose, and giving up their real info puts them at risk..a provider is putting herself at the same amount of risk by seeing guys with no info. Guys are worried about being blackmailed, or their wives finding out....providers are worried about being robbed/assaulted/raped/or even killed if they see the wrong person. When a guy goes to meet a provider, he has what she looks like, her review history, and should something happen, he can post about it on all the boards, and ruin her reputation/warn others about her tactics. When a lady goes to meet a guy, she has no idea what he looks like, and having his real info puts many at ease. If all she has is a fake name and a phone # he can change tomorrow, reporting his bad behavior to warn others becomes almost impossible. Again, those who have nothing to hide, 99% of the time, have no problem providing this information.  
Posted By: HeathersLuv4u
and u rarely have a problem w a client ripping me off, hurting me, pissing me off, etc.  
 Men w successful careers are rarely hesitant to provide screening/validating info to prove such.  
 However, those with bad intentions whether it he by over staying, shorting her money, hurting her, being a dick, serial killer, etc are the ones with something to hide. Don't be that guy.  
 Acting shady leaves us with the impression you have more to hide than a successful career and wife.  
 It all depends on how you hunt. Shoot low and you may shoot yourself in the foot.  
 Be mindful of whom you see and whom you provide with your personal info.  
 

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