So here's the deal, I started dating this girl, about a month after we started dating I found out she is an escort...crazy right! So i made a choice to keep seeing her. Now I'm conflicted cause months later she has been telling me that she never goes all the way with clients. I'm struggling to believe it though. Am i being completely naive in believing her or is this a def possibility? She tries to sell me on the idea that she is more of a therapist in her sessions. And that very rarly does anything happen. I just don't know what to believe. Anyone have thoughts on this?
but to answer your question, yes it is "possible" but how likely it is depends of course on what kind of escort she is. There are a lot of "massage only" girls who only give HJ's or BJ's at the most, OTOH, if you are dating a girl like the girl you reviewed, my first thought is to say "lucky you" and my second thought is to say "No fucking way is she NOT fucking her clients". lol
You have a couple of choices here, you can either take her word for it, try to put it in the back of your mind and just enjoy being with her. You could look for her here and on other review sites and read her reviews, but trust me on this. That is a VERY slippery slope you are headed down, or you can just concede you aren't secure enough to be dating an active sex worker and simply cut your losses before you get hurt.
She just constantly tells me that they are all made up and people do it at her request to make her look good. So I guess I am also wondering how legit the reviews are. As far as my review....there is a story behind it. I can honestly handle it IF she is being honest and telling me everything. I feel like 100% open communication is the only way this would work. I just feel like there is to many things that aren't being said for some reason.
For her to claim that she gets every guy to say she is doing FS (or whatever "all the way" means here) when in fact, she isn't, and no reviewer is pointedly remarking on this fact, just doesn't add up. At least one guy is going to complain that he didn't get what he signed up for.
In short, if we take everything you say at face value: She is not being straight with you, though her action is understandable.
Now, if I may:
I dated an escort. We got along so well, that a few years ago I married her. We've been an item for 12 years, though she retired from the trade about 4 years ago.
If you do this, then you have to accept that her job is to do what escorts do, and that includes going all the way, and then maybe some more. Your feelings for her can not be affected by this, and if they are, then this is not the gal for you.
Ok so here is the thing, I honestly have accepted what she does. It's fine. The issue I have is that she isn't fully honest with me about it. Would I be better served not asking for full disclosure. Don't get me wrong...I don't want details. I just want to know if it was like a full on all the way type deal. If she tells me that then I have no problem trusting her. But when she isn't fully honest with me on that I feel like there are other things I need to worry about. And I want to not worry. If she was fully honest I would be ok with it. I just want to know the truth. I really can handle it. So with all that said...do you think I should confront her and just ask her or leave it alone?
She has probably had some bad experiences in the past with jealous boyfriends who couldn't deal with the reality of her job, and is trying to protect your ego. Even you may be telling yourself that you are okay with it now, as I did under similar circumstances many years ago, but it will probably get to you eventually.
For me, the moment of truth came when I served as her driver for a while. Sitting in a parked car, in front of the house or apartment where she was having sex with some guy, was bad enough. Worrying that she might be enjoying herself or in danger made it even worse.
Unless you are turned on by the idea of her having sex with other guys, this is probably not going to work out well. Her honesty with you is important, but it is even more important that you are honest with yourself.
I'm sure you could find volunteers here, if you don't have a buddy you're comfortable talking to about it.
Bunch of paranoid cloak and dagger shit wouldn't be my recommendation though. I mean, either you're okay with what she does or you're not. Either you trust her or you don't. I don't see it as right or wrong, you just need to figure out for sure what your truth is when it comes to being in a relationship with a provider.
For whatever it may be worth, I think Mr. Fisher is right. If all her reviews say FS, but she never does that, then some guy is gonna get on her local board and/or write a review bitching about that. I don't think it would be a very long wait either.
That's so true. So who is gonna help me figure it out. I honestly don't mind her doing what she is doing. The thing that screws me up is the dishonestly...so who is willing to go get her and see what's true or not?
She just left for an "appt". I just don't know is I can handle this shit
Yeah I'm not sure I can handle it. I can handle her being honest but I fell like if she isn't there is a reason why. I've always been worried about the "one" I didn't know about. I really do care about her but I honestly fell like there is something not being said because she can't accept it let alone ask me to. She is very new to the business. I just don't want to be her normal!
I met her completely outside of this...basically I only do this cause her!
Reading this thread, you are not emotionally ready to deal with this situation. You'll end up driving yourself crazy dealing with this. It is better to end it and walk away then to continue down this path.
I was in a similar situation and in retrospect, I should have walked away from her and the relationship towards the start instead of allowing it to continue. A lot of what you have written sound all to similar and personally I wouldn't tolerate it. Being dishonest and lying about it is the same in my eyes as showing no respect to you or the relationship.
As the saying goes " It is better to be slapped with the truth than to be kissed with a lie".
If you can't trust her and have a hard time believing her.....then you should move on.I would never stay with someone that I couldn't trust.Its a recipe for disaster
Thanks! Best way to go out is with a bang lol
First issue I have is the fact that you said you've been dating her for a month and she just told you. I'm not sure what the timeline for something like that is, but I would think it would be something that should be disclosed immediately. I have dated/had relationships with escorts but that came after we had seen one another a few times. I will say this, don't ask questions to things you can accept the answers to. Either walk away or accept what she does for a living. Another thing, if you feel she is being dishonest, then you should reevaluate things and figure out if this is the best situation for you to be involved in. Sitting around wondering and second guessing her, all the while she is trying to persuade you isn't the best circumstances to start a relationship.
On another note, perhaps she is a dominatrix that doesn't do touching in her sessions, or massage only.....
So here's the deal, I started dating this girl, about a month after we started dating I found out she is an escort...crazy right! So i made a choice to keep seeing her. Now I'm conflicted cause months later she has been telling me that she never goes all the way with clients. I'm struggling to believe it though. Am i being completely naive in believing her or is this a def possibility? She tries to sell me on the idea that she is more of a therapist in her sessions. And that very rarly does anything happen. I just don't know what to believe. Anyone have thoughts on this?
Especially if you say you really don't care if she's FS. Avoid reading her reviews. Most of them are exaggerated anyway. For example, she could be swallowing a massive load while giving BBBJ with two fingers in her ass and thumb in her pussy. But you will never know.
Most likely she is lying to you to protect your feelings, which is good because that means she cares about you. We all lie to our SO. Enjoy your time together, don't think about her job and definitely don't read her reviews. If you can.
In all likelihood the reviews are 90% true. She's an escort, that's what they do. It's how they pay their bills. Do you want her to stop? Will you support her if she does? You have NO right to demand this unless you are paying her bills.
This is where the rubber hits the road (appologies to Firestone).
Your relationship is new. If it goes to higher levels, she may be willing to modify her work. The world is FULL of former providers (turned soccer moms). i think you should back off & give your relationship time to grow... or get out now.
There are several members here in relationships with providers...
Did someone mention Jaba the Hut?
we can do further research for you.
Does she have an add or website?
Does she know about your p4p activity?
Sounds like a sticky situation.
Good luck.
Save yourself some emotional sanity. You'll be driving yourself crazy wondering the "what ifs?", "is she?!". Save her the trouble too, because she told you what she does.
I am guessing you have seen the reviews that have been written and you have wrote one yourself. Yes your are being naive my friend. Pull your head out of her or your rear end. Don't believe me believe the reviews written on her, those are made up. I am not saying she does not want to be with you because her tell you about what she does was a huge risk to begin with. I going to say she really likes being with you and not sure at this point why she is not giving the whole truth. I could be wrong and she could be an escort only doing BBBJ or HJ's. I think if she really is going all the way her telling you the truth and her being able to let it off her mind would be a good thing for you both. Well if you to part ways because of this then next as I always say. Happy Hobbying man.
To be honest I don't think you handle this on a long term basis. Unless you accept the whole package.....and not be worrying about what she does or does not.....contact some of her reviewers for clarity.