I was just beginning to think I was being overly sensitive as a female (*and as a Provider*) but I found teh wording to be insight into possibly what is going on....
-No ofense to anyone who has commented-
As the comment above suggests...… (and I noticed right away) Your words seem to lead one to the impression that the use of a provider for your sexual pleasure (*which is of course what the hobby is about*)
Now you question whether you are willing to give this up or maintain your physical pleasures while venturing down a path with your new found “real life girl of my dreams” (*that indicates a relationship with committment and emotion*)
If indeed this is the “girl of your dreams” then wouldn’t she be providing all of the physical pleasure that you might need? (*I’m not a guy but I know that my “Mr Perfect” will not only have all of the basic qualities I am looking for, but he will also be able to satisfy my physical needs above and beyond anything that I could want*)
Perhaps you aren’t truly looking for one woman. There is a chance you enjoy the encounters with your provider because they add the excitement, physical craving… etc etc (*people have different needs met by providers, so without being qualified to know your specific desires I couldn’t make a statement of advise or even attempt to advise what is your best course of action*)
Maybe a bit of time spent understanding exactly what the provider contributes to your life would be a learning experience for yourself as to what you are really looking for in a relationship……
Best wishes in whatever you choose...… Kisses ~Tori
Hi, I am new here. I have used the ladies for a few years, especially during my sexless marriage. Now I have met a real life girl of my dreams but the problem is I can't let go of my private sex time that I have enjoyed for so long. If this girl finds out about this it will be over. Do I risk it to keep my secrets? I guess only I can decide that but any stories or advice is welcome.
There is nothing more dangerous than a "Good Woman"
Either your GF is agreeable, or you become a master at subterfuge.
-- Modified on 9/24/2006 10:41:14 AM
Just my 2 cents, but I'm with the NASA guy... You may be trying to mainatin a safety net, "just" in case she fizzles or worse, denies you what you want. Look at the positive side of the providers. They already provide that insurance by virtue of being available all the time. So quit second guessing, or go to Rocket School, then subterfuge school. (Isn't that what they spin you around in at Rocket School? LOL)
If you didn't get caught during your sexless marriage, what are the odds now?
BUT, if she really is the girl of your dreams, I think you could give this up.
Yes I got caught before. Some women are very smart, some are very trusting, some are very stupid. I tend to fall for the smart ones. This is my problem. Imagine if your girlfriend/wife found out you were posting on here for example...it can happen. I guess it is all about risk tolerance or else like you said, giving this up.
While you 'have met a real life girl of my dreams', you 'can't leg go of my private sex time..'.
You're asking the wrong question. You should be asking yourself whether you have an addiction issue.
-- Modified on 9/24/2006 9:01:31 PM
I thought you were going to quote the "used women" part. Silly me
I was just beginning to think I was being overly sensitive as a female (*and as a Provider*) but I found teh wording to be insight into possibly what is going on....
-No ofense to anyone who has commented-
As the comment above suggests...… (and I noticed right away) Your words seem to lead one to the impression that the use of a provider for your sexual pleasure (*which is of course what the hobby is about*)
Now you question whether you are willing to give this up or maintain your physical pleasures while venturing down a path with your new found “real life girl of my dreams” (*that indicates a relationship with committment and emotion*)
If indeed this is the “girl of your dreams” then wouldn’t she be providing all of the physical pleasure that you might need? (*I’m not a guy but I know that my “Mr Perfect” will not only have all of the basic qualities I am looking for, but he will also be able to satisfy my physical needs above and beyond anything that I could want*)
Perhaps you aren’t truly looking for one woman. There is a chance you enjoy the encounters with your provider because they add the excitement, physical craving… etc etc (*people have different needs met by providers, so without being qualified to know your specific desires I couldn’t make a statement of advise or even attempt to advise what is your best course of action*)
Maybe a bit of time spent understanding exactly what the provider contributes to your life would be a learning experience for yourself as to what you are really looking for in a relationship……
Best wishes in whatever you choose...… Kisses ~Tori
Thank you Tori and others. All of you have given me a lot to think about. After being with providers for many years it is hard to settle down sexually with one girl no matter how good they are in bed and how much you love them. For me it is whether I am willing to lie to her about it. I found lying disempowers the other person so they cannot make fair decisions for themselves. If you really love someone then that is not treating them right. So I either tell my girlfriend and work it through and risk losing her or stop seeing other women, something I doubt I could do in the long run. Lying and deceit to the person you love is manipulative, controlling and disempowering. I refuse to do that to her, that would be incredibly selfish of me just seeking my own ends and not her ultimate wellbeing (true love). So I think I am going to have to risk talking about this to her. Thank you for making this clear to me, wish me luck.
don't be confused, the simple truth is men like to have sex, generally more that women past 35, just be discrete and go for it, just wear a rubber and wash well after insertions so you don't bring home evidence of the crime of passion, one caveat, you will have less problems if you frequent transsexuals, they don't expect you to marry them and are generally very understanding. Tell them you have a wife or girlfriend and they will check you out before you leave and avoid perfumes or unzipped pants. Biological females are more vitupritive by nature, so be extra careful if its pussy you want to get into; oh yes avoid bitters and those who dig their nails into your back, you won't see it but your girlfriend will.
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