for any new friend of mine to be verified. Quite a few select option number 2 (submitting three providers that you spent some time with).

Now I reached out to the providers well in advance and then there's NO RESPONE!

I send them a very friendly e-mail or leave a polite voicemail.

Of course this doesn't happen all of the time but it happens enough where I declined meetings instead of placing myself in jeopardy.

I know what you're thinking? Why didn't the gentlemen use options one or three? Well some gentlemen do not want to sumbit their work information to me or sign up through a verification site.

Totally understandable. This is why I offer my options. I want my new friends to have a choice in which way they prefer being verified.

Is there a proper way to send or call up a provider so she will validate a gentleman for me?

Any feedback from the board would be greatly appreciated.

- A.L.

You do not tell us what those three options are.

They are in the post: provide employment info, three provider references, or sign up through a verification service..

simply because it takes time and the ladies do not always communicate.  Additionally, more and more of the ladies I see are going more UTR and are not accepting or giving referrals to/ from other providers.  So I am almost exclusively using Date-Check and now Preferred411 for screening. If a lady does not accept those, unless she really has me in a spin, I move on. And if a lady does not screen to my satisfaction, likewise.

I know a great many ladies who are going the verification site route exclusively, and are keeping a low profile on sites like this, and focusing their business strategy on low volume / regular clientele.

If you point a prospective client to Date check or preferred411, and he actually reads their information, he should be willing to provide them with what they need to screen him.

Whatever you do, do not compromise your quality of screening - it's a bad idea all the time but especially right now....

Best of luck! Perhaps someone else will contribute something more useful..

Cheers

Gregory

Gregory,

Thank you for the feedback...

- A.L.

it is complicated at times. I am very reference friendly. There are woman who are not and then there is a time issue at times.
We all need to learn to be a bit patient. Try and book with enough time so that references can be checked, for the gentlemen that is.
Try and also be flexable. If you want a Lady to go by the way of provider references, contact the ladies you have seen  in advance, to be sure they are reference friendly and give them the heads up. Also give this lady enough info so that she can attain a reference with out too much bs.
Good luck, be safe and have fun!

Sweet Nicole,

I am the same way! I have no problem vouching for a friend of mine.

I was on my way to Atlanta two weeks ago and still provided a reference for a provider while driving 85 miles per hour.

Another time I was in Grand Central Terminal and (I am sure the provider heard all of the background noise on her voicemail )I still validated a friend of mine that wanted to play in Las Vegas.

I guess this is why I am a bit confused on why I get no response PERIOD from providers. Even if a gentleman lied about knowing a certain provider, I would appreciate a quick e-mail or phone call that indicates that fact.

Oh well...Thanks again for chiming in

- A.L.

might be a problem at this time..

I myself would be very nervous to give a reference to a lady who is not been out there for awhile..I would want to see some reviews as well..

There's just to many peeping toms around these day..LE, media, polls from college students, and now wives and girlfriends checking us out

I too was a newbie once and it wasn't easy..Be careful and do screen...References may take more time than checking the gentlemens personal info out yourself..

Stay Safe
Kisses Haley

I would take that option out but state please submit any references as well

I assume that you are fairly new here? Your TER handle is not linked to any review page, so I was interested in finding your website.

Cheers

Gregory


-- Modified on 11/25/2008 1:19:05 PM

Haley,

I choose not to have my reviews linked to my alias because I would have to put TER's emblem on my site - not to mention more emblems with other sites I advertise with.

Being I don't want to clutter my website, I rather not put emblems all over the place.

Now when I ask for a REFERENCE from a provider, I always include my alias/handle and of course website underneath my name when I am sending off an e-mail.

I ALWAYS SCREEN!!! THIS IS WHY I MENTIONED I HAD TO DECLINE MEETINGS IN ANOTHER POST IF A GENTLEMAN'S REFERENCES DIDN'T CHECK OUT.

This is why I posted my question here on the newbie board...I needed some insight on why a provider wouldn't respond to my e-mail or voicemail whether it was good or bad on behalf of the client?

I've recieved quite a few PM's in regards to my post and it was surprising to read the juicy details from both sides...

I won't ever air out anyone's dirty laundry but I've found out the real reason why providers don't respond...Talk about an eye-opening lession

Thanks a lot for the insight and I wish you and yours a wonderful holiday season

- A.L.

Being I don't advertise directly through TER, you will have to google my name...Alexandria Lombardi.

Have a great holiday season

- A.L.

Alex is real, and she's spectacular!

Alex, it is important to remember that not all providers provide personal references or referrals.

Some providers choose to act as an island in this business and it is well within their right to do so.

Personally, I provide references because it demonstrates my willingness to network and encourages open lines of communication with women who I would ordinarily have no other reason to speak to.
My life has been enriched and my business has been supplemented by a working awareness of and personal association with my peers; but I do not take for granted that others are similar to me in their inclinations for a desire to familiarize  themselves with other women.

It is important to remember that references are a professional courtesy - not all women utilize them as a screening method, therefore it isn't fair to expect that all women are willing to provide them.

I have only had one bad experience during my time in the business - and he came with 2 glowing references from reputable online providers.

When you come to terms with the fact that not everyone participates in the reference system and the fact that they are not necessarily the best way of verifying your clientele, your screening methods will become better for it.

In regards to reference protocol, a few things to remember:

a)  As stated above, they are a courtesy.  Do NOT make the provider you are seeking a reference from do footwork to learn your backstory.
A provider who actually provides what she advertises, discretion, is not willing to answer web-based email accounts which send one-line notes requesting information.

Personally, unless a provider has a KNOWN name and is writing directly from her domain email address (i.e. [email protected]) OR has in her email signature her stage name, website, link to her TER profile with the email address that she is writing me from - I am not providing any information because it may be his wife or significant other.  I will write back indicating that she needs to identify herself- the burden of proof is on the person requesting the contact.  Remember:  the third party that you are contacting has no obligation to spend time searching the internet for your credentials to provide you a courtesy.

b) Observe business hours (9a-6p) with consideration to time zones and the fact that the provider you are contacting may not have office hours at the time when you send your email or call OR may be on vacation, with her family, attending to her other career, etc.

c)  Recognize that every appointment that you accept or decline is purely of your own accord- not a third party provider.  If you are interested in running a business you are best to do so independent of crutches, ie. references, verification sites, etc.
I utilize both, but if tomorrow I hadn't either I could successfully continue to sell "Ally Moore" because I know how to be basic and self-sufficient

Good luck to you Alex.


-- Modified on 11/27/2008 9:02:25 PM

Thank you for your seal of approval my lovely friend

Thank you for taking the time out to respond to my question...

I didn't want to start an online fight but here's what what I've read in my PM's...

I've found out due to our struggling economy, women aren't vouching for their "friends" because their are JEALOUS!

I am trying to understand why would I be jealous of someone who lives 1500 miles in the other direction and one of my friends happen to be in same their neighborhood? I think it would cost me more to fly to his location and see him then return home. Lol...

Ok now you've stated that I could easily be someone's S/O? Anything is possible.

Well if someone wanted to double check and make sure that a provider really exists before responding to my request, its very simple. Log onto my website, scroll down and see if my e-mail address matches the same one that appears in your inbox.

You have a PM on the way dear!

There's something else I want to disclose to you woman to woman.

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving

- A.L.

A cardinal rule (as accepted by most reputable TER providers, join the Provider Only board- you'll learn that we DO observe etiquette) is that if you are asking a favor of another provider you not cause her to perform footwork.

Think about it:
She has already screened the gentleman to her standards.  She has performed the service and collected her fee for service rendered.  There is no further obligation on her part.

Why should you place undue burden on her (i.e. "go to my website, compare email addresses, search for my ads, look for my TER profile etc) when you could simply write the following:

Hi,
My name is Holly Hobby and my website can be found at www.xxx.com.  A gentleman by the name of John Doe has cited you as a reference.  Would you mind providing any information that you may have regarding him or your time together?

Holly Hobby
www.xxx.com
Review profile:  TER #809072


You are being dismissive of the probability of clients significant others contacting us:  again, join the Provider Only board and you will find that this is a daily occurrence.  SOs become aware, begin investigating, create fake provider identities and then write us casually asking if we've met their partner/husband etc.

Alex, the difference between what we do and what a streetwalker does is we are hired to provide discretion.  Anything less (i.e. releasing references only when expressly asked or when proper credentials are presented) is negligence.

As a provider who provides references and referrals real-time, day or night, I can tell you that I have an inbox full of  providers and services who thank me for my discretion when asked to identify themselves and clients who thank me for protecting my account of our time together, reserving it only for those who demonstrate they should have it.
I don't balk at references ever; but I do believe in professionalism.  In my other career I would never contact someone with a request without having all of my credentials readily available - other professional women approach references in a similar fashion.

Its really not so outlandish to expect that someone requesting information identify themselves.

By the way, "jealousy" is an oft-touted reason when girls can't explain circumstances without critical thinking.
I have several friends who have taken a substantial amount of time off to pursue other interests or focus on their true career considering the economy. With less attentiveness to the business you get lapses and breakdowns in the reference system in addition to my aforementioned reasons for choosing not to participate in checks.

Good luck Alex.


-- Modified on 11/28/2008 6:13:36 PM

You have covered every issue and made it seem very understandable that giving a reference is a choice and one must respect the other ladies time and her honor to keep her friends safe.

I have already been through the wife who calls with all her husbands info to see if he is a good client...Oh stupid me and all the other ladies who followed suit..

My saving grace..I'm in Florida but pity for the ladies who lived in Calif

Ladies, never call me on my phone to say your so and so from ...and I need a reference on John

Sorry you won't hear from me

Kisses Haley