This is actually the best place to ask these types of questions and I probably should have moved your OP here to begin with.

On this board everyone knows that you are new and are required to be nice, or at least compared to the other boards, and that even includes me.

You might not always like the answers we give you, but everyone will be civil when answering and you won't get "beat up", not even by me. lol

You made some newbie mistakes and you paid for them, hopefully learning something along the way. My advice on the GD board still stands, find yourself a female mentor if possible, no guy no matter how well intentioned or how knowledgeable can give the same perspective as another woman who's been there. Not even a "know it all" like me who has been at this for well over 35 years.

You learned a few valuable lessons and you didn't have to get robbed or arrested to do it! Words are just that, words. Ignore the "attitude" of the posts but listen to what was being said because it is all valuable. There is a learning curve to all aspects of this and that even includes how to conduct yourself on the boards.

Good luck!

It's fine to make mistakes - everybody does. When I first entered the business, I made tons of bad choices, some of which could have been dangerous. It took a while for me to get my bearings...it seems like it would be a nice, simple industry to work in, but it isn't.

The best advice I can give to you is just to stay true to yourself. You can't please everybody, and it isn't a good idea to try, in this business. Be yourself, do what makes you happy; and you will be happy and attract people who are happy with you. Other than that, screen, screen, screen! And avoid drama. Good clients HATE drama...just see your clients, and stay out of the fray at all costs.

And above all, have fun and make lots of money! Best of luck.

It's not easy to say at all. But it still needed to be said. There actually wasn't any flaming at all going on in the thread on the GD board, just a lot of people telling the OP that she did something wrong.  Sugar-coating is not very common on the GD board. Yes, feelings can get hurt but that doesn't mean the comments are not valid.

but I was a bit harsh intentionally. Sometimes you need to get someones attention before you can help them. Sugar coating the advice and pretending it was all the clients fault, she had done everything right and that the guy was just a jerk and that everythig would be ok in the morning would have done her no good whatsoever.

She made some serious errors in judgement that needed to be corrected for her own good and safety, and sometimes you just can't sugar coat things that need to be said.

I think that all of us that have been here a while have seen a true "beat down", I would never have let that happen in this case, there were no flames, no one called her stupid, she got just the right mixture of constructive criticism to sink in without sending her crying hysterically to the TER exit, never to return.

I think her posting on the GD and this board have done her a lot of good, and in a few months she might just be right here giving good advice to the next new provider or hobbyist that needs it.

I can't seem to say or do anything right today.  I screw up the "order of events" for a potential date, get yelled at by my friend for doing it wrong, then bitch about the results on the general board.  Then get accused of having a pimp for god sakes, then get put on the DONT list.  Ugh.  I give up.

Renae, as a relative newbie who posts on this and the GB, don't take it too hard.  Despite all, you come across as a well-intentioned person and I don't think any of the advice you got, no matter how pointed it felt, was truly mean-spirited.  And, hell, it's only the Internet after all.  Like everywhere else, people flame.  But no one really gets burned.  Hang in there.

You made a few rookie mistakes; very few ladies are SuperPerfectProvider(tm) right out of the starting gate. Chalk it up as a learning experience for next time.

And like GG said, not everyone in these forums is rude, uncouth, and lacking the grace and tact that God gave a rock, so please don't be scared off.

I already replied to the thread in General Discussion before seeing this here. Personally, I don't think it's too big a deal. Should you change your name and number and redo your website and put all of this behind you? Pfft. No way, except for the "put it behind you" part.

I am a relative newbie myself but if you ask Qs here or the other boards, I'm sure people would be more than happy to offer advice and opinions.

Enjoy the holiday and get off to a good start next year.  

It's hard to have a tough skin and come on here with an issue and then feel like you've been torn to shreds.  But like others have pointed out, there are certainly things that can be learned that should be able to prevent future problems.  

The fact that you got such a response actually means, to me, that there are a lot of people out there looking out for you.  Learn from their advice because the alternates to learning (i.e. the hard way) will suck.

Smile and keep going.

and lurk more on the boards.  Every provider started with NO reviews, even the ones who now have pages of reviews.  There are a ton of resources available to you, besides TER.  Google is your friend.
I've recently seen a number of fairly new providers, all with less than a handful of reviews, and one with no reviews. The majority of them hadn't even heard of ter. You can succeed with or without ter.
BTW, veteran hobbyist don't normally like to see ladies whou surround themselves with  lots of drama.
Finally, I've included a  link to a providers site. She has a section, called My PhD. I suggest you read it.
Good luck and happy new year.

You need to start at the bottom and work your way up. You came into the hobby and dove in head first not knowing what you are doing.

Read the newbie manual, or self help center.
Read the boards, especially this one. It's okay to ask questions but for now READ and LEARN.  

You may also need a provider mentor. Another provider can help you learn the ropes.

Finally, dump the "dude". He has helped you cause enough trouble already.

No friend would/should ever yell at you.

I can't find the reply (Newbie? Gen Disc?) that said us guys have a short memory. Pretty much true.

There are, what, ~500 reads of your original posts and these two threads (not counting other providers)? Of those, maybe what, 100 are following the whole discussion? Of those, maybe what, 10 are even in your geographic region to even consider seeing you? And if all 10 are reading your replies, they know that YOU see, by the OTHER replies, why we consider what happened to be a mistake. Of those 10 guys, maybe what, only 5 might have been interested in seeing you in the first place from your website (regardless of any discussion on TER)? Of those 5 TER guys, maybe only 1 or 2 might be willing to TOFFT ("take one for the team") anyway (TER Mantra: "Read the reviews!"). So a couple or a few geographically relevant guys might have cold feet based on your original posts but once you have some good reviews it will be forgotten.

Have a Happy New Year!

People here can be crass but most are trying to be helpful in there own way and keep everyone safe. I read your post on the other board and you did screw up but I think you learned something. I screw up every day and if I gave up I would still be working at Walmart and not enjoying the spoils of my business.

And by the way I read what you posted as I said and you did not earn a spot on my "don't list". The post kind of made you more likable in my eyes as you showed your humanness.

By the way where are you from?

It's all been taken in, every last ounce, and will be used to make things better in the future.