I was recently contacted by a guy who says he has references but prefers to not use them ... He likes to keep things private. When I said I really need them to verify him for my safety and security, he said "do you really need them?" Ummm YES I DO! I am and will be surprised if this has actually worked on the ter providers (whom he says he has seen)?  

These are great sites that verify for you and you do not need provider refs.....

You are not obligated to see any guy that asks for a date.  If he won't provide the necessary screening info, don't see him!!!!!

Yes I am on both of them but he is not ... He did come through with a good reference and now I will invite him to both.

compromise either your screening methods or your menu offerings--regardless of what some guy might say. Your safety needs to be number 1.

One of the ladies I screen for just had this happen, and you can about guess where I told him to shove his shit. He gives me some name with no email, phone number or website, and when I respond back asking who this person is and how I am supposed to contact her with ZERO info. his reply was, "Look, I know you have to be safe, but so do I...I have options you know." Ok, then why did you bother giving me a name in the first place idiot, if you were not going to tell me how to get in touch with her? I then spent the next half hour explaining to him what a reference was and why us ladies are happy to provide them for the most part. Still no go...he had an attitude, so I told him to try the truck stop.