Okay so I'm new here! I've read through the newbie stuff but I'm still a bit lost. Did I sign up correctly to be a provider? Then I have to get a review in order to post ads and such, correct? How do I claim one of my reviews?

Be sure to read the FAQ pinned to the top of the Newbie Board (when viewed in FLAT mode - Tree/Flat toggle on upper right). Here are the Provider Ad Posting Guidelines:
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?boardID=33&Messageid=75544
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Your ad must a link to SOMETHING with your contact info: a TER Profile (doesn't apply to you), an ad, or a personal webpage.
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Posting ads on the Regional TER Board is a good way to meet guys and gals who are TER members who are somewhat likely to write a review. The first-posted review will establish your Profile and "TER ID number."  
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You might want to consider paying for VIP month by month until you have a review and get FREE limited provider VIP which includes PM (private message).  You can pay for VIP using anonymous Gift Cards. (Buy a  Target or iTunes or Omaha Steaks GC for cash at a local store and use it to pay for TER - no real names needed.)

...and tell TER to link the review to your handle. Be prepared to verify you are the provider in the review.  

 
You can check for TER's response by clicking the My TER link , top of page,  then click My Feedback, also at top, just below My TER,  My Reviews, etc.

 
Once they connect your handle to your review/profile  page you will have the free limited Provider VIP.

You can claim your profile (reviews) by clicking on 'claim my profile'  on the left hand side of your provider profile.  Just follow the instructions.

That is something new that most of us who answer on the newbie board, did not know about. It's good to know for future reference.

So now I have a review up and I claimed it! How do I get the free VIP?

You don't have to do anything further. Check if you can read the juicy details of your review. Also check your PM box. I just sent you a PM. With the Limited VIP you have access to PMs and you can read your own reviews.  If you want to read the juicy details of other providers' reviews, then you have to pay for full VIP. It will also,give you access to some additional search features.

Now is a good time to look over your profile and correct any errors, or fill in the "don't knows." You can do that by clicking on "report a problem" on your profile. Welcome aboard. If you have more newbie questions keep coming back here.