i've been contemplating this for what seems an eternity.  i'm not shy by any means.. but still.. as much as i want to, i just haven't been able to pick up the phone and call.  i suppose it's just the fact that i haven't done this before.  what do i wear?  what do i say?  what do i bring?  i just don't want to do or not do.. or say or not say something/anything that will make me look foolish.  jeez.. i'm in my 50's and i'm acting like a school kid afraid to ask his object of adornment out on their first date!  

"i just haven't been able to pick up the phone and call"
Then don't, find a provider that is good at returning emails.  I found arranging through email very easy my first time.  Takes the pressure off immidiate answers.

" what do i wear?"
Casual is key, try to fit in.  My first visit was noon time on a holiday monday in the city so I wore shorts, golf shirt and flip flops.  You do not have to impress anyone with your clothing, only your cleanliness.

"what do i say?"
Everything you would say to your girlfriend:
You look beautiful, you are dressed nicely, nice place, cute dog.  They will take care of the rest, just sit back and let it happen.

"what do i bring?"
First time, nothing but cash in an envelope and your ID.  Save the gifts for later.

"anything that will make me look foolish"
Well get over it you are going to look or do something foolish, you are nervous, you got a right to be, let her know you are, it will calm you down if you share it.  It is not an everyday experience that we meet someone new and get naked with them in 10 minutes.  It's something that your brain has to process a few times.  But do you think that these women have not seen just about every foolish thing before?  Trust me nothing you do will surprise them.

I think the key is for the first one find someone who is described as gentle and slow in their reviews along with nice to talk to.  Save the mind blowing sex kittens for the third through 100 visits.

What city are you in, maybe some can recomend a good breaker iner?

Second, pick a reputable provider - someone who has a couple of pages of reviews.  These providers usually are good at relaxing a 1st timer.

Third, these ladies have probably heard it all.  Nothing you say will phase them.  Having said that, when you call for the first time, introduce yourself (Hello, this is [your name], may I speak w/ [provider name]).  If she picks up or someone else answers, tell the person why you are calling [was checking on (provider's) availability on .... (date and time).  Providers like when your specific about date and time.

Providers are always leery of 1st timers and LE.  Therefore, don't be shocked if they want some information to check you out.  I have yet to have any provider harass me w/ the information given.

Fourth, set the date.  Follow the directions given.  Its for the safety of both of you.

Do NOT talk about sex on the phone.  Remember, its their time and companionship your getting.  Their web site or the reviews will tell you how much and what your getting.  

Fifth, when you arrive, the ladies like their men CLEAN.  Make sure Mr. Johnson is clean and no skid marks.  Sounds silly, but it happens.  

Sixth, I usually wear a suit b/c I go during the day.  Wear something presentable.  Remember, the more a provider sees you paid attention to your appearance, the more likely she will reward you for taking the time to do it for her.

Seventh, what to bring?  Normally, on the 1st date, I only bring the donation (for her time).  Check out her web site - it may give clues to what she likes.  Second dates and later are conducive to gifts b/c you now know each other.

Finally, remember this is a brief fantasy.  It works when both of you are into it.  In other words, be responsive to her needs.  An experienced provider will give you hints and guide you to what pleases her.  Don't ignore them.

Good luck.

Good info Ricky

"Finally, remember this is a brief fantasy.  It works when both of you are into it.  In other words, be responsive to her needs.  An experienced provider will give you hints and guide you to what pleases her.  Don't ignore them."

On my recent first time I was very nervous.  I missed many of those hints, but it did not make the experience any worse for me.  On the drive home I realized how shelfish I was in the situation.  She had written me a thank you email and I responded with a promise to pay more attention to her on the next visit.  But the point is nothing is expected of you except that envelope.  No one is going to banish you because you did not reciprocate an O.  They will just remember your name if you do!

Just be yourself.  If you don't want to set up your encounter via e-mail give her a call.  If you have to leave a VM message, tell her when it's a good time to call you back.  It is call discretion.  

Talk like the gentleman you are, mix in some compliments (her web site, photos, smile, etc.) while you set the date & time.  If she asks for some screening info, give her the info you are comfortable with.  Remember, all hobbyists and ladies had the "1st time" heebie jeebies at one time or another.

KA..Ricky/Desi.. thanks for the info/input.  i guess what REALLY has me all a flutter is this.. in my entire life i have NEVER been with anyone as beautiful as ANY of these women.  i've perused the web sites of my favorites more than just a couple of times and EVERY TIME i ask myself the same question.. why would this beautiful woman want to do ANYTHING with me.  I'm an older man, a little on the heavy side.. not fat.. but like most in my age bracket a little bulge around the middle.. you get the picture.  These women could have any man they want, any time they want and i know it wouldn't be me.  as far as clean and being a gentleman, there is nothing to worry about there.  i'm a well educated man, was raised properly and treat EVERY woman with the respect they deserve (sorry womens libbers.. it's not that i think women aren't my equal, because you are more than equal, it's just that women DESERVE the utmost respect).  oh, i don't recall who asked.. but i'm in the phoenix area.  

should i select my fantasy woman for a first time or wait until i feel more at ease.. do you think it will take more than one or two visits to "get over" the "first time" worries/jitters?

i know you both are probably going to be curious.. so i'll post after my first visit.

thanks again..

your thinking too much about it.  

I'm short, fat and while my face may be easy on the eyes, I've got a personality of an asshole.  You sound head and shoulders better than me.  And yet, between the women I've reviewed and those that I haven't, I've been w/ absolutely beautiful women.  Did I make a connection w/ all of them, of course not.  But not one of them rejected me - not for my looks or my personality.  Why?  Probably b/c despite my looks and personality, I treat them well and try to pay attention to their needs.  Some actually think I'm funny.

Forget how you look, to most providers it really won't matter.  If I were to share some of the stories they've told me, they don't even come close to your description.  But they've all told me the same thing:  come clean, treat us like ladies, and we'll treat you like a king.

Remember that b/c after a couple of years doing this, they're telling the truth.  Stay away from the young providers unless they are well reviewed; the 30-40ish group knows what to do w/ 1st timers.

Jump in, commit, have a good time, and good luck.

" in my entire life i have NEVER been with anyone as beautiful as ANY of these women. "
And do you think the rest of the reviewers (or I) have either?  Listen if any of us had even the smallest chance of getting women of this caliber we would be out trying to get them not looking for them on this website.  With the exception of some of the married guys not all of us are the best specimens you ever laid your eyes on.  I have a feeling providers know this, this is why part of the screening process is not "what is your height and weight, what movie star do you look like".  In fact I would bet providers get a little suspicious of you if you are too good looking "this guy's hot, he does not have to pay for it, he must be the law"


" why would this beautiful woman want to do ANYTHING with me."
Well because it is her job quite frankly, you have to do things at work you do not want to do right?  Yes it makes her job alot easier if a male model shows up for her service, but she knows she has to take what comes.   No provider is going to say "oh you are disgusting, look at that belly"  If they did would you not just turn around and walk away with your money?  The answer will always be "you look great", is it a lie, who cares it makes you feel good for at least a while anyway until you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror next to her thin body (now that's shocking).  So just be thankful these particular beautiful women have chosen this occupation, and do not give your own looks another thought.

" I'm an older man, a little on the heavy side.. not fat.. but like most in my age bracket a little bulge around the middle."
Well at least you have an excuse, I am a younger man (33) on the heavy side as well (6' 1" 300 lb. 44 inch waist)   I made a joke to the first provider I was with "Don't get excited by my body when I take off my shirt" she said "you are perfect just like I like my men" was it true?  who knows, who cares, she acted like it was and that is all that counts.

" These women could have any man they want, any time they want and i know it wouldn't be me."
But remember the guys they want would not pay them for their time because after all the guys they want can go and get 6 other women just as hot for free, and they do.  

"i'm a well educated man "
And this may be where your problem lies.  I am also well educated, MBA, and like you I am very logical when it comes to life.  This activity we are talking about is primal, no education is going to help in that department.  This is one area where you have to suspend logic and just go with it.  You know how most things in life are if it is to good to be true it probly is, well this world is the exact opposite.

" should i select my fantasy woman for a first time or wait until i feel more at ease."
I debated this also, I would assume your top pick is rather expensive, my concern was I would be so nervous that I would not be able to perform just from pure shock, and thus be out some money.  But I would have to say my fears were unfounded.  Once you get into it things will happen by themselves and the anxiety goes away real quick.  So I say go for what you want the first time.  Also it may be the situation that your conscience may not be able to handle this and you may never do it again.  So if you only do it once, make it the best!!

" do you think it will take more than one or two visits to "get over" the "first time" worries/jitters?"
I think so, but I tell you most of the jitters end as soon as she opens the door.  Right now all she is is a hot woman in a picture, we see those every day, thinking about being with such a woman produced some fear in me as well.  But once she opened the door she is just another human, and surprise surprise she likes you and starts making some moves on you.  Who would have known??

" i know you both are probably going to be curious.. so i'll post after my first visit."
Please do, Have fun!

If you are clean, treat the lady right, and have the green, you will have an awesome time.

part of the appeal!!

Clearly, you don't want to feel like a complete twit in front of the provider.  On the other hand, part of the rush, is getting that feeling you haven't felt in a long time.

From one foolish 50 yr old to another.

-- Modified on 9/14/2005 1:19:33 PM

Someone earlier asked this and you should answer: others will be happy to suggest who you should see (I'm in LA and I have suggestions if you're in LA too).