I am 47, new to the hobby and have not yet had a GFE. I hope some of you can answer a few questions for me so that I can make the right connection with the providers of my chioce.
What can I expect from the verification process? When calling for the first time, what should or should not be discussed? At what point is the fee negotiated? Are fees all incusive, or is a tip expected? When is the right time to discuss "do's and don'ts"?
I have read some reviews which discussed "walk aways" when the lady did not seem as advertised. Are there times when the lady will refuse service based on looks?
Any info anyone you can provide will be extremely helpfull. I am nervous about taking this step and want to ensure a positve outcome. Thanks in advance!
Different ladies have different verification processes. At a minimum, you should expect to provide her with your first and last name, place of employment, and work telephone number. When you speak with the lady, you should never discuss anything related to sex, because that makes your phone call solicitation, which is illegal. The same goes for email. The "do's and don'ts" can be discussed at any point, so long as you apply the preceding two sentances. If you're looking for something in particular, I recommend you get a TER membership and do your research. In fact, I recommend this anyway.
If a lady has a website, typically she will list her rate. In most cases, this rate won't be negotiable. If she is well-reviewed, usually she will not expect a tip (though they are certainly always appreciated). If I were a man seeing a lady through an agency, though, I would provide a little extra, since a portion of her rate goes to the agency.
I, personally, have never turned anyone away based on looks, but I will refuse to reschedule if the chemistry isn't there for me.
Read her reviews and you should find out what services she offers - of course there is no guarantee that everything mentioned in reviews will be on offer to you. Mostly the will be but the final choice is always down to the lady. Her website will tell you her rates, you don't need to tip, it's very nice but not necessary.
I think that since you are so nervous you should only consider a well-reviewed lady as you don't want your first experience to be a negative one if it doesn't like up to your expectations. Feel free to tell her you're nervous, you won't be the first nervous guy she's met 
No lady who is professional and cares about her business would ever refuse service based on your looks.
I hope you have a great time! x
You sound like where I was three months ago.
The best thing to do is get a VIP membership (costs $20) and use the "advanced search" engine with various criteria that are important to you.
For instance, I would search based on a range of age, ht, wt, cup size, hair color, no smoking, no tattoos, provides escort, etc then see what it spat out. Then I would look through the reviews and click the links to the websites and look at the pictures, examine her rates and read the text (call me weird but I actually do read the text).
If I'm still interested, I can then look at the contact page which will have e-mail, phone number and possibly a questionnaire.
I usually send a polite e-mail with photo (my preference, not required) telling her where I had learned of her, why I think she would be a good choice for a date and ask about her availability.
I don't fill out the questionnaire until she says she's interested/available.
The providers I arranged with allowed me several pre-visit contacts either by phone or e-mail (preferably both) so both can know more about each other. Pay attention to what she says on her website because providers hate answering questions the site already answers.
Be honest and tell her any concerns you have before meeting but you also need to be discreet about sexual topics so as not to cross into solicitation.
Take her posted rates as being all-inclusive and non-negotiable. If she upsells, that's a deal-breaker.
I like to give gifts as a show of appreciation and to inspire her best performance but it is not required. I just think it helps put her in a better mood and makes you somebody memorable to her (a plus for references or return visits). It's always better to appear generous rather than cheap.
Most providers are used to men in your age range and their assortment of health issues so looks don't matter to them nearly as much as politeness and cleanliness. Dress to blend in with your surroundings and to not draw attention.
Finally, research, research, research. You can't take shortcuts here. If the gal has no reviews or her ad sends any red flags, move on no matter how tempting the pictures look. Better to find a sure thing than to take a chance on somebody who could be a scammer or an LE trap.
As to nervousness, it depends on what has you nervous but the better you prepare, the less likely you are to have a bad time.
in the matter of being refused:
Showing up intoxicated on drugs or alcohol will usually get the door closed in your face.
For your first time you should definitely tell the provider that fact. I good provider will take the time to make you comfortable, talk with you for a while to get a comfort level going and perhaps even massage you a while to relax you.
Often it is the more mature providers who are good at that, but there are some young ones as well who are skilled at this.
Best of luck with the big day.
Hi Rob and welcome… great advise from all of the participants, I couldn’t think of anything to add !
Reading the newbie board is a great way of getting familiar enough with the Hobby to actual enjoy yourself and get the most out of your experience.
A few more things that you can consider in regards to TER and having a VIP membership:
*When reading reviews and comparing numbers, you can click on the reviewers name and it will show his history…. This is a good way to judge how he felt about this particular lady (*some guys score routinely as a 6 some as an 8… compare how he scored teh provider you are researching to the rest of the providers he saw*)
*When checking out reviews, if you see a reviewer that has written reviews on the same “type” provider you desire (*hair color, body shape, height, weight, particular behavior etc*) then you can PM or private message him through TER private mail. Just click the little envelope next to his name.
*When reading a discussion board, if you see a comment by a provider that catches your eye, you can click on the words "see my reviews" and it will bring the providers profile on TER up for you to review.
*You can always post a general question about a specific concern in your regional discussion board. (*such as: reviews say her incall is in the Northside is this considered a high L/E area*)
TER is an awesome community that provides the Hobbyist with an avenue to do a little research and know what they are truly getting. Welcome aboard, happy hobbying..
Know your provider (*and her reputation*) kisses ~Tori
(*sorry about modify broken link*)
-- Modified on 9/27/2006 5:56:45 PM
I must tell you all that I am completely impressed. Your advice is not only solid, it is more thorough than I ever expected it to be. I did get a VIP membership and have been looking carefully at the reviews...I even started a favorites list to gather providers in my area so I can choose w/o wasting time on those too far away.
As a newbie, this entire process seemed overwhelming at first. But the info I have thus far garnered has allayed much of my nervousness. You folks have been very helpfull and I thank you all. Now....where is that South Florida page.....hehhehehehe
I'm sure there are folks who know South Florida much better than I do but I toyed with the idea of flying there last July. I had a long e-mail conversation with a provider there named "Petra" who I never actually saw but is well-reviewed here. It did not bother her that I had no references - some providers require one.
There are numerous Brazilian providers in the area and some of them do not allow kissing (if that matters to you). It's a cultural thing, I guess.
The agencies there seem a mixed bag - some high-end ones are well-reviewed, others seem less reliable. Agencies mean you must deal with a third party and you probably can't talk much (or at all) with the provider before meeting her. OTOH, agencies can also smooth out some logistical problems and can provide a back-up lady if the one you want has to cancel.
South Florida also has its own unique pricing scale. If the gal is in Miami and you want her to go to PBC, she may have higher rates because of the travel time. Likewise, a provider in PBC may charge more to travel to Miami.
There are questions you'll want to decide. Incall or outcall? Agency or Indy? Do I need a new cell phone for this? One hour or multiple? What price range am I looking for? Only you can answer most of these questions depending on your home situation and how comfortable you feel about various meeting venues.
I've tried a hotel and an incall (her private apartment) and both arrangements worked real well but if you are going to be the "host" for the encounter, you will also want to think about accomodations and creating a clean and safe environment for her.
I probably would recommend at least two hours for the first time so you can relax and deal with any first-time jitters at your own pace.
Good luck.
welcome aboard... not to worry if you are careful in doing your research as indicated by the replies above. Just remember, all of us, clients and providers, started out fresh... with many of same questions and concerns you have and we are still around...
All of us had a first time in the hobby. That is why we share information. Other than that, nothing else to add.
