Newbie - FAQ

Re: What can I do on a date to turn the provider on?
shudaknownbetter 1158 reads
posted

If you go to her location, skip the flowers.  If you mean "provide music" (as opposed to a live player) this would be appropriate on an outcall to your location.  As the others have correctly stated, a provider does not want attention drawn to her location.
The lovely providers often offer what is described as a GFE experience...  but it is a sexual illusion of a real world GF with a long standing relationship.  The ladies are often very skilled actressses & it is hard to know where the acting leaves off.  These boards are full of guys who at one time or another have feelings for or even fall for providers.  This is the post-sex hormones at work...  great for protecting the women & children in a hostile world but dangerous in a pay $ play environment.  
I often do bring a small jar candle & matches to an incall.  If she does not have another flavor going already she can light it.  For Pete's sake, keep it a safe distance from the bed & anything flamible.
With a Fav lady, I have taken snacks with me to an extended visit, but not on a first date.  One Fav lady can not have sugar so I often find sugar-free treats for her.

If you are young as your handle indicates you may have difficulty finding ladies to see you.  Some might give you tips for civie dating... others not.  The best tip I can give is don't gift a civie...  a civie is a relationship thing.  She's looking for common interests & values.

One last thing, if you see a provider...  and it might be a good thing...  but you never tell anyone.  Not your GF, not your wife, not your best friend.  A secret is only a secret when 1 person knows...  The secret dies with you.  When you are an old fart, you can think back over the good times & joys & smile...  people arround you will wonder what you are thnking of.  

Why might you see a provider?  To learn about sex first hand.  Going back in history...  even in a young America...  it was traditional for a male family member (often an uncle) to take the young gent to a certain lady who would teach him about sex.  Not every provider would want to do so.  Be honest if you are inexperienced.  I suggest a MILF late 20s who has the patience for this.  

I have read a lot into your posts.  If I am wrong, you may ignore...  
I hope this has helped,
skb

YoungYoungBoy2852 reads

Besides money, what else can I do on a provider date that will turn them on? I plan on getting flowers, musician, but I am lacking any other good ideas.

I have never actually dated a girl in real life so I am practicing on a provider and want to see what I can do to turn them on

Um....

let me suggest to you that the reason we donate to see providers is

to get them to turn US on
to fulfill our desires and fantasies
to keep our secrets

the hobby is not a "dating" service.

Get some help with your social skills or whatever and learn to chat up and to date regular girls

NOW if you want to learn about SEX, get SEX lessons, seeing a provider is a good way to go.....  a really nice provider might even give you advice about how to approach girls in the 'real' world....

YoungYoungBoy1428 reads

Get some help with your social skills or whatever and learn to chat up and to date regular girls

--- from the providers?

fucktard_repellent1773 reads

Wash your ass, and bring a full envelope.  The rest is largely smoke & mirrors.

WebTerrorist1454 reads

This site isn't about dating, romance or learning how to date.

The advice given on this site most often is to not forget it is a business for the ladies.

Trying to woo her, turn her on, practice how to be with a civie girlfriend isn't really in the job description.

The idea of taking a civie girlfriend flowers or even hiring a musician aren't bad (the musician thing is a bit much and should probably saved for a special occasion and not something for a first date, third date, 20th date...)

The idea of taking flowers and hiring a musician for a lady in this business is a very bad one.
If she has incall you have just brought unwanted attention to her at the apartment or hotel she works out of.  Discretion is the cornerstone of this business, and you don't toss that away to practice how to date a civie girlfriend.

If the lady is doing outcall to you, finding anyone there she isn't expecting (musician) isn't going to welcomed and might make her leave, flowers are something she will just have to cart home, and in all honesty a bouquet of flowers from someone that knows a persona and an ad might not have much meaning so your "gift" might be tossed in the garbage.

If you want to learn about sex and technique and how to be kind and attentive with a woman great...but the idea of what you are proposing is ludicrous.

Appointments with ladies in this business are not like civie dates...sexually they turn themselves on more often than not...and what they ask is cleanliness, kindness, respect, the donation in full....

flowers, musicians, anything that puts them in an awkward situation or draws unwanted attention will turn them off, not on...

I agree. You're paying her to act turned on and make you feel like king shit. You could easily (even from the nicest of providers) get the wrong idea, make her extremely uncomfortable (musicians???!!!), or worse...

With your lack of experience, you might easily misread her responses to you as truly genuine and "fall for her" or think she has "fallen for you".

Nothing here can be compared to dating, from an emotional or psych perspective.

A good provider will be polite, sexy and show you a good time. She will NOT react the way a civvie girl would.   If you pay her fee and treat her with respect she will happily see you over and over where as a civvie girl may find no connection and dump you after one date.  A good provider is there to provide a service to you, not shop for a BF.

I'm not saying you can't learn anything from providers but hanging the responsibility for your social development on them is a bad idea.

You pay her benjamins and she has sex with you.

You want to know how to make your shows better for us?

Be clean.  Be on time.  do not hesitate to get comfortable when around me, and do not ever mention what or how much of anything is in any envelopes you may drop.  if I ask you if you want a mint or gum then PLEASE SAY YES!  LOL!!  *muah!*

If you are not as clean as possible, then your show will not be as complete as it could be! If you are late then I'm going to be very nervous and you won't have as much fun!  

I've had shows I've enjoyed.  I enjoy getting to do different things.  I enjoy it when I get to bring my toys!  attachments, paddles, and things..     I enjoy it when you ask to be slapped or kicked!!  I was shocked at first, but it's not real common, so when you want that, it's fun now that I'm over my shock!   I enjoy it more if you have time to do something other than meet in a room!  Dinner, dancing, clubs, 2 steppin, all that makes the show much better for me!  but I know you can't always do that everytime.  

If you like to be in public, I like that too! That will make it more fun for me!  

XOXO,
Ashley

-- Modified on 2/25/2010 4:47:59 AM

shudaknownbetter1159 reads

If you go to her location, skip the flowers.  If you mean "provide music" (as opposed to a live player) this would be appropriate on an outcall to your location.  As the others have correctly stated, a provider does not want attention drawn to her location.
The lovely providers often offer what is described as a GFE experience...  but it is a sexual illusion of a real world GF with a long standing relationship.  The ladies are often very skilled actressses & it is hard to know where the acting leaves off.  These boards are full of guys who at one time or another have feelings for or even fall for providers.  This is the post-sex hormones at work...  great for protecting the women & children in a hostile world but dangerous in a pay $ play environment.  
I often do bring a small jar candle & matches to an incall.  If she does not have another flavor going already she can light it.  For Pete's sake, keep it a safe distance from the bed & anything flamible.
With a Fav lady, I have taken snacks with me to an extended visit, but not on a first date.  One Fav lady can not have sugar so I often find sugar-free treats for her.

If you are young as your handle indicates you may have difficulty finding ladies to see you.  Some might give you tips for civie dating... others not.  The best tip I can give is don't gift a civie...  a civie is a relationship thing.  She's looking for common interests & values.

One last thing, if you see a provider...  and it might be a good thing...  but you never tell anyone.  Not your GF, not your wife, not your best friend.  A secret is only a secret when 1 person knows...  The secret dies with you.  When you are an old fart, you can think back over the good times & joys & smile...  people arround you will wonder what you are thnking of.  

Why might you see a provider?  To learn about sex first hand.  Going back in history...  even in a young America...  it was traditional for a male family member (often an uncle) to take the young gent to a certain lady who would teach him about sex.  Not every provider would want to do so.  Be honest if you are inexperienced.  I suggest a MILF late 20s who has the patience for this.  

I have read a lot into your posts.  If I am wrong, you may ignore...  
I hope this has helped,
skb

I think it engenders much better service and an overall mutually enjoyable time.

What's wrong with that?

To answer your question directly in order of importance:

1.  Be courteous and polite, in all manner of your comportment.  Reading a gal's website thoroughly and following her rules is a big part of this.

2.  Be clean and fresh smelling, especially your mouth and where the sun don't shine.

3.  Be nicely dressed.

4.  Be an effective lover.

This covers over 90% of it.  Anything else is really a footnote.

I agree with mrfisher.  When I see a lady I make sure she has just as a good a time as I do.  I know this is a business first and foremost but there is nothing wrong with having the mindset that when you are together you can try and make her feel as good as she is making you feel.  I think the act of trying to reciprocate makes the whole experience that much more fun and enjoyable.

WebTerrorist2413 reads

"What can I do to be attractive to a provider?" or
"What can I do to be a client a provider likes to see?"

I would agree with the Mr Fisher and Mr Betterman.

The thing is that wasn't really the question, he posed it a bit as such in the title of his post, but once he wrote about flowers and musicians and then added:
"I have never actually dated a girl in real life so I am practicing on a provider and want to see what I can do to turn them on"

The question changed.

Since this is civie girlfriend training he is looking for the advice doesn't fit.

Most civie GF's don't have websites he can read to learn their rules, clean is always good for all women, and being an effective I am sure is welcomed by all women...but effective lover has nothing to do with hiring musicians to serenade her...

He seems to be asking what he can do in fantasy land that will give him knowledge on how to woo a civie woman, and the two are not analogous. Ladies in this business are hired to be "a sure thing" if you will...so as long as he isn't unclean, rude, offensive violent, rip off etc...he will be successful...
civie relationships aren't a "sure thing" a civie girl doesn't like how he dresses, how he dances, dinner conversation, taste in music, sense of humour, or any of a million other things that a lady in this business doesn't worry about and the civie won't see him again.

In this business a lady will open the door plant a kiss on the guy and take him back to the bed within 5 minutes of meeting him, and that is not in any way shape or form like civie dating for most.  So using this fantasy land as a training ground for civie relationships or even civie hookups is setting the guy up for failure...hence why he is in the wrong place if he looking for training in Civie Dating 101.

If there is some benefit as far as becoming better in the civie world from hobbying, it is probably from gaining some self-confidence.

To that extent, hobbying is a bit like having training wheels, I suppose.

Thanks WT. I'm glad I read this, it saved me a lot of typing!

I’ve met a few younger gentlemen who desired a higher level of confidence so they got their feet wet- (not literally-  but … so-to-speak…) with a few providers. You would be amazed at the confidence they took with them when they started seeing women their own age. Sorta’ like a boost to their skills or just upping their game.

My suggestion to your dilemma is simply to communicate with the provider you are planning to spend time with and explain to her your desires. Any provider who is experienced has probably already crossed a client similar to you and can be extremely helpful in aiding you- again, communication is a huge factor.  Whether you want advise on physical acts or creative suggestions to help you in the dating world- providers can help!-and they are a great tool to learn from.

Best wishes in finding what you desire…. Kisses Tori

shudaknownbetter1476 reads

When I am on a date, I am always a gentleman.  I treat her with care & consideration.  I want her to treat me as "GF" would so I must have a "BF" attitude.    
Physically I want to give as good as I get (or better).  I always want to be the best lover I can be...  it gives me great pleasure to know I have done so.
There is a lot written on how to pleasure a woman...  and besides I'm not about to reveal my signature moves...  but I will say that I do not "give her" Os if that happens.  I am the motor but she is always in control, she is the driver.  I give her the freedom to do so.  

The thing is with a provider the physical side takes a huge leap forward as opposed to a civie relationship where emotions usually comes first.  (One night stands, excepted)
skb

Gfehunting1437 reads

I don't think i have seen a funnier topic than this one all week. Seriously, this cant be real, and the responses of some people on this thread are just flat out funny and damn right sarcastic to a point i pee'd my pants laughing. GOOD times..

Its abt money. I saw one for 3 1/2 years even  after she quit i was a regular. Then  we dated. See is messed up . Sometimes good mostly bad times. we went same high school in suburbs. Don't get emotional. Usually they will take advantaged of you. And in my case just be crazy.Shes a good person but really messed up.She quit escorting years ago thats one reason I gave it a shot.

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