I was wondering if it is okay to ask an escort if she is willing to go out for lunch/dinner before the session. I personally don't think that if I am taking an escort for lunch/dinner, I should pay for her lunch/dinner time. Her time should start when she comes to the incall/outcall location? Any thoughts guys.

Yes you can take an escort to lunch or dinner. That is why most of us offer lunch or dinner dates. It is usually a fee that is slightly lower than her prospective fee for a regular all play session. NO you should not think she is going to go to lunch with you for free.

Just a hint. When I go to the gym I have (at a minimum) at least 3 or 4 civvies ask me for my number, my digits, can I holla at you. They would buy me lunch too. They want to get into my pants too. The answer is NO.

Ask yourself why a provider would go to lunch with you off the clock. Are you very close with her? Have you known her a while? Is she comfortable with you in public?

Here's the dilemma. If a client asks me out to lunch or dinner he should always assume that I expect to be paid for my time. He should never assume it's for free.

Only one time did I agree to meet with a hobbyist for lunch. It was so he could meet me before I had a single review and discuss inviting me to a M&G (thanks jimmy). That is the only time I EVER had lunch with someone off the clock. Most providers do not do social lunches/dinners with clients.

While you are thinking it's nice to take her to lunch that is time that she could be with another client, getting her nails done, cleaning her house, running her errands or the myriad of other things a woman does during the day. Asking her to go to lunch for free is asking her to lose $. It's as simple as that.

You are paying for her TIME no matter what she is doing with you.

Alyssa

Nothing is off the clock,unless you see her 25 times in a month, then im sure she will bend a little

Your time is your time, my time is my time. When I'm not entertaining a gentleman, I'm vacuming my floors, doing my dishes, taking my car in for an oil change, shopping, getting my nails done etc. That time is my time. Your time is the time on the clock.

Yes, I've gone to dinner with gentlemen a time or two, and one of my favorites spent an afternoon driving me all over KC when I was apartment hunting. I even indulged in a wild romance with a client for a few months totally off the clock. The difference in these situations was the connnection. These were men I'd seen many times, and our connection went beyond the envelope. On the other hand, a few weeks ago I traded several e-mails with a gentleman who asked to take me to dinner, followed by some fun. Everything was roses right up until the day before the appointment when he mentioned "oh by the way, it is my belief that if I'm paying for dinner, I shouldn't be paying you for your time too". I never even replied, let alone told him to see someone else. I'm just thankful he did finally mention his 'rule' before we actually met. I would have appreciated knowing his attitude before we swapped a dozen e-mails.

The point I'm making is that yes, its perfectly OK to ask an escort to dinner/lunch (answer to your first question). Do not be surprised though, if she declines if you make it clear that you don't want to pay for the time you spend dining together. Furthermore, if this is your expectation, absolutely make it clear initially. Some ladies, particularly if you've seen them a time or two, might say yes. Some will certainly say no. It really is up to the two people involved. What matters is clear communication on your part, and hopefully no hard feelings if her answer is "Thank you, but no thanks."

I was clicking around reading these newbie tips when I came across this thread.  I asked a provider to lunch today as a way of easing my concerns about police.  She agreed to have lunch and said it would make her more comfortable too.  After all, we all have the same concerns about being caught.  Now that I've read the opinions posted here, I'm wondering if her quick agreement is out of the ordinary.  Maybe she's not legit.  And that's the difficult part of being a newbie...I don't want to step in it my first time out so I'm second guessing everything.  Any help from more experienced people would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

The fact that she agreed to meet you beforehand doesn't necessarily mean that she is not legitimate. Every lady operates just a little bit differently. When someone suggests to me that we meet for a drink first because they are concerned about LE, I point them toward my reviews and the many posts I make on this and other discussion boards. The lady you contacted obviously does things a little differently than I do, but that doesn't make one more correct or more safe than the other. My question for you is how many reviews does she have? Her willingness to meet you may set your mind at ease, but its her review history - or lack thereof - that will give you the best reassurance of her legitimacy.

Regardless, if you do decide to meet her, I hope you get your feet wet with the review process and let us know how it went! Here is hoping it is everything you are anticipating and more :o )

Just my (very) humble opinion :o )

I do have one favorite lady who is an independent in the Philly/South Jersey area. When I visit we usually either have dinner or drinks before our session. Since we both have the gift of gab this can be a two or three hour process before we actually get down to on-the clock "business". In my experience this situation is the exception, not the rule. You shouldn't expect to spend any time with a provider that you are not willing to pay for.

I agree with most posters thus far- I offer a lunch/dinner date for this purpose. When I say "you are paying for my time not for sex" -yes, this is the legal mumbo jumbo we use, but it is also true (although the sex usually comes in somewhere! I personally see it as you are paying for my time, which does include a pre-assumed possibility/inevitability of sex, but NOT the number of minutes actually engaged in said sex.. as well as the time and effort we put into scheduling, our physical appearance and preparation, etc.) Whether we are dining, eating, sucking, or f*cking, you have hired and paid me to be there with you as opposed to being with my family and friends, buying my groceries, taking my pets to the vet, reading a book, etc. At most ANY job, you are paid by the hour- it is the TIME involved that is compensated for.

I personally love lunch or dinner dates, and a lot of guys do too, the ones who appreciate conversation as much as sex and find that a balance of the two makes for a way more meaningful encounter. (I know I do, although there can be something very primal and passionate about just meeting and tearing one another's clothes off! ) If you want to spend this time with her, pay her for it ( I personally do discount these rates under the assumption that the gent will be treating me to a meal, which I appreciate, but it doesn't mean I am not compensated for my time)

Actually, I initially had many many first or second time clients ask me to do things off the clock when I first started. I said yes the first few times, until I realized that both unhealthy boundaries were being blurred and crossed for both parties, and also that I had spent both more unpaid time with clients than paid that week, and more time with clients than with myself, family, or friends. The reason I do this as opposed to another job is, obviously I enjoy it, but is also to be in charge of my own schedule and have "me time" and a personal life, and to support myself financially without a job or work scheduling taking over my life and causing stress or time constraints. I really like many of my regulars and consider them friends, but those limits need to be in place for me to be comfortable with what is taking place, and overall I think that benefits the hobbyist as well, as things are clear from the beginning. So I personally will never accept an unpaid date, although I am kind about it and usually have a heart-to-heart with the gentleman about our limits and feelings and both walk away feeling good about it.

What I prefer to do, to show regulars I enjoy being with them, is that I sometimes stay longer than I have been paid to stay. Yes, in theory this is "free time," but it is following the appointment and is at my discretion. If I don't have any immediate plans or place to be and we are enjoying ourselves, I sometimes stay an extra half hour or even an hour, however long it winds up being.. but this is not ever to be expected from me and doesn't happen all the time as I have a busy life. However, I would not be comfortable meeting up with a client JUST for this "unpaid" time, as if it were to be scheduled, outside of the context of an appointment.

Some ladies may do things differently; for example, meeting for a quick drink before moving to more intimate activities, as some suggested happens, may make some ladies/gents feel more comfortable with one another (which is also different from a one or two hour wine-and-dine session), but personally I use my screening to acquire that same comfort level, and gents have reviews and the input of other hobbyists to go off of.

The BEST advice I can give is that if you get to know a provider well over time and think you are hitting it off in a way which could allow for something like this, allow HER to bring it up! She will if she wants to see you in a non-appointment capacity. That way you know she is fully comfortable with it and wants it as well. Or if you do ask her to stay for dinner after an appt. or invite her to do something outside of an appt, please assume she is to be paid for it and allow her to tell you otherwise if that is how she wants to approach it.

However, if it is your first or second time meeting a gal, don't even think about it. I have gents with whom I hit it off right away, but it absolutely shocked me how many think that after one or two dates they know me on this intimate level and want to start "dating" in a real-world/civilian sort of definition of the word. This is NOT appropriate, guys!

Just my .02 Hope I didn't offend anyone, I tend to be pretty straightforward about my opinions.. Any other or differing opinions or input would be respected and much appreciated.

XoXo,
Marea

-- Modified on 6/20/2007 9:08:43 AM typos

-- Modified on 6/20/2007 9:18:04 AM more typos- I must be tired.. I wrote acquit instead of acquire

-- Modified on 6/20/2007 9:20:36 AM

were required for all her first time clients  and represented her screening process.  The deal essentially boiled down to that she was agreeing to go on a blind date with you.  You meet, have drinks, share a meal and get to know each other a bit better.  After the meal either party can decline to take the next step and the only expectation is for the client to pay the tab.  If she feels comfortable with you and you with her then you left and went to her place for the typical rate based session.

Key points in this scenario:

-  This was her techinique and this is how she manages her own time and conducts her biz, i.e. it is not a client's request but her requirement for her first timers.

- I was okay with it because she did have many documneted reviews.

- As I mentioned, this is rare.  She is the only provider I've ever come across who does this in this way.

If you're gonna pay $$$? for a companion's time, why are you worrying about picking up the tab for lunch or dinner?  If you aren't willing to do that, why are you hobbying?  I don't understand that.  Your meal time is probably costing her real money time.  If I am going to have lunch or dinner with a lady, I damn sure am picking up the tab!   Especially if I want to see her again.  To me, that's just common sense.  DUH!!!!  Seems to me, you got a lot to learn about the hobby, my friend.

Sorry for the rant, but I just had to.

Swim