I want to know so I have an idea of what I'm in for. Any help would be appreciated!

Scroll down to the "Rejected due to race" post by brown7.

Here's my take for what it is worth (I'm a middle-aged white man from Phoenix who now lives in England.  I've also been reading these boards for 6 years, and have been hobbying for 18 years).

1) Unfortunately, there are a number of providers, but not all, or even the majority, that discriminate, and race is not the only criteria used.  Other criteria include:  age, weight, wealth, and appearance (yes, there are some providers that you send a photo of yourself as part of the booking process).

2) Unless she asks, why tell her your race beforehand?  Most gals won't turn away a client who knocks on their door, but the effort and enthusiasm can vary.  Your worst scenario is that she shuts the door in your face.  I know hard on the ego, but the cash is still in your pocket.  2nd worst, you have enough fun to leave with a smile on your face, but know that you could have done better.

3) Now if you really want GFE, your question is appropriate and smart.  Just as the ladies screen potential clients, if you have certain expectations, use this question to screen the ladies.

Hope this helps,

jazz32

-- Modified on 6/9/2007 1:59:10 AM

I'm not incomplete agreement with point 2.  If you have been discriminated against in the past, you should ask.   It's not just ego at stake but lost time as well - time that could have been spent with a willing provider.

The 2nd worst scenario is that she sees you anyway but gives you substandard service.  You're out the money and you've had a bad time.

I think that when you contact any provider you should tell her a bit about you.
Give her your stats etc also....

I am sure YOU have a certain-type you like to see, so don't take it personally if she chooses not to see you....it's her preference

Providers don't take ever client that contacts them

AND if you are harmless, say so in your initial contact email, be real and human

Hope this helps!

If you are ever in Phx we are most happy to accomodate you.  Just check out our site and let us know if we can be of assistance.

480-233-0200

Yes, it's fine to ask.  I know from reading the boards that quite a few ladies won't see black guys so it's best to ask in advance.

I guess they must have had bad experiences with black clients or just expect them to be problematic.  Personally, it makes no difference to me, there are good and bad people of all types.

Hi - not sure if this will help or not - but I repsonded to someone who was complaining that the providers wouldn't see black guys.  I have no problem with the color, it was his attitude that shut him down.  I also let him know that after we had chatted a bit it wasn't his skin color that was making me turn him down, it was his whole demeaner.  I know some providers won't see black men, but there are some out there that will and when you find her your in for a treat!  

Thanks for the replies. All this did help me understand a little bit more but I'm still faced with the same problem. Now it's just a matter of finding someone my type in the NYC or Long Island area. Anyone have any suggestions maybe?

This isn't the place to ask for specific recommendations, you may post on the NY board.

I'm glad the board was helpful, but at the end ot the day, the choice of who to see is your's alone.

It sounds like you handled this issue just right.

When you are not white, you must always consider the possibility that skin color is a factor in any negative interaction but we have to be careful not to make unjustified accusations without evidence.

In the case you described, he was Black and automatically assumed that race was the main issue.  The fact that his attitude might actually be the problem hadn't occurred to him.

Whenever I've had poor service at restaurants, I sometimes wonder if it's my race.  But then I consider other possibilities: the waitress is having a bad day, first day on the job, or maybe the waiter is just generally incompetent with everyone.  Until I see some convincing signs or patterns, I don't make accusations.

Also, I must add, that to each their own. There are some women who are not attracted to certain races, and that is their preference. BUT, I am also a firm believer that providers should always be upfront about their preferences, when being asked directly.

I did read the previous thread, and it bothered me for it was never indicated to him upfront, that the provider was not attracted to African-American men. This would have saved him time, and he could have picked someone else, who would be interested in seeing him.  

But I also do believe that if you (the hobbyist), do think there may be an issue in regards to race, that it's best to be upfront to the provider, that you are seeking to meet with.

Also, we need to remember, that it is a woman's body, and she can pick and choose to be intimate with. If a provider declines an appt., because of race, that is her choice. Just find someone who wants your business.

I prefer White gentlemen...but if a Black person wanted to see me, I would see them. And I wouldn't give them substandard service.

Lately, I've only been seeing White men. Very few black men have contacted me since I started providing last year.