Unlike many of you reading this who can measure the time since they last had sex in days if not hours or minutes, with me it's years if not decades.

 While most of you can get intimate with someone they've known for a few minutes, with me it's more like weeks if not months.

 All of you are aware of the risks of STD's, but are willing to take them.  With me, it's probably a deal breaker.

 For some of you sex is a hobby.  For others, it's a job.  For me it seems to be an impossible dream.

 Now if you think I'm being critical of you folks, I'm not.  I'm envious.  That's why, despite the hangups, I've been trying to get serviced, but with no success, on and off for a YEAR AND A HALF!  Just combine the usual hurdles with general ineptitude on my part and some bad luck, and if it weren't so sad, it would be funny:  no references, being self employed, difficulty communicating with non-native english speakers, having some providers suddenly stop exchanging e-mails (I've studied this board long enough to know what NOT to say), car trouble, family emergencies, medical problems, cold feet, having providers cancel sppointments at the last minute for seemingly bogus reasons, misunderstandings, etc. etc.

 So why am I writing this?  I guess it's for those of you having trouble getting started.  Cheer up.  It could be worse.

I guess my other question is, how broke are you?

If you have several G's to spend and have seriously been obsessing about this, the legal brothels in Nevada are probably best for you. The girls there have no issues seeing virgins, those that have intimacy issues, those that haven't had sex in years or decades, etc. Many girls in LPIN (Legal Prostitution in Nevada) will talk with you before your appointment, they will text, they will email with you. You will be able to get to know them. No references needed, just the ability to make the trip and the ability to come in. They have mandatory STD testing.

You can walk into one of the large brothels and have the ability to chat with girls in the parlor or at the bar. Off the clock. You can get to know them, just be prepared to buy them a drink or two while you're doing it.

The issue is that it's more expensive than the TER route but, with all the hangups you appear to have, it's something for you to look into.

Good Grief Charlie Brown. Your problem is you think too much. Buy some condoms, call a lady, and have some fun before you're too old to remember how it's done. You can find miss right later. Get laid now

Find a highly rated agency that accepts new clients. Expect to give some verification information or provide a driver's license upon lady's arrival.  Listen to the descriptions, shut up. Name your choice of a lady, again use minimal verbiage. Wait for the lady to arrive at your location. Be courteous to and gentle with the lady then let nature take it's course.

If you make through the first encounter, you will become more comfortable and see the enormous benefit of hobbying. Remember to maintain balance and not allow the hobby to take over your life, it can if you are not vigilante.

The sex act in itself places one in a very emotional, and physical vulnerable place. Putting it in the context of the hobby increases that vulnerability. I suspect it's the fear of the feeling of vulnerability that outweighs you desire to experience sex with a woman on an ongoing basis. You can stay stuck in your fear, or get psychological help. It's purely up to you.

Theodore Hertzl, via Walter Sobchak.