Hey guys. I got in contact with a provider and asked for what services are offered. I asked if she did specific sex acts in emails and she came right out and said yes to them. For example, "do you do bbbj? or do you do anal?" Do providers usually confirm those things or are they usually more cryptic? She has a few reviews on here already so that's a plus but i'm worried that because she's so open that it could possibly be LE. Your opinions?

Well, most providers wouldn't even answer an email like that, let alone go into detail.  Are you LE?? Why would you ask about specific acts in the first place?

Not that she's necessarily LE, but that she'll kick your butt for asking her those things.

Actually, if she is well reviewed and all, the risk is minimal (but not zero!) that she is LE.

More than likely she just doesn't worry herself about such things and/or you did an ace job of making her feel comfortable, so kudos to you.

In general though, asking about specific sex acts will get you hung up on and put on do not see lists, so I recommend that people never do so.

Instead, read the reviews.  That's what they're for.

No i'm not LE. But I just wanted to do a test on her.

that you havent learned how to act professionally while hobbying.

In the future, initial E-mail contact IS NOT the place to be "testing a provider" to see if she were LE. Most providers would have simply deleted your graphic E-mail. You would not have gotten a second chance to make that all important first impression. If you really wanted to see this provider, and she acted like most others would have, you would have been shit out of luck. Period. End of story.

You dont need to test if she is LE. That is simply moronic. If you do your homework and look at the totality of the reviews you will be fine.

Either she passes the test, and refuses to ever speak with you, much less see you, or she fails, and then what is there to be gained?

No flames intended, but that sounds like a pretty stupid test.

If you are so worried, why did you ask the questions in the first place?

Well see I have multiple email accounts so it's not like i'm revealing who I am yet. If she doesn't respond to one I can just use another account. And i'm testing her to save my butt. Anyways back to the point of the post. Her reviews look good and she has pictures. But would confirming those things be considered entrapment?

So she passes the test by blocking your e-mails. Really bright idea.

It's the dumbest test in the hobby. Where was his common sense?

Asking a provider about certain sexual acts is a big no-no.

That'll get a guy on someone blacklist.

My opinion is that for the good of all of us, you should find a new hobby.

Geez sorry everyone. I didn't know that it touched such a nerve. I was only asking for an opinion on the specific situation.

If we hold them under water and they don't drown, they must be witches.  If it kills them, we know that they aren't a witch.

If you read responses to most of the questions on this board, I think you'll find that we try to go easy on the newbies.  What you're missing here is that what you did was dumb, and that you seem to not care.

Newbie = inexperienced
Newbie does not = stupid

First- as a reply and comment on this statement that you made:...."Well see I have multiple email accounts so it's not like i'm revealing who I am yet. If she doesn't respond to one I can just use another account....."

I guess I should shock you by telling you that not all providers are uneducated, drugged crazed bimbos that are just sitting around peeling grapes and waiting for you to come over and give them some cash so they can get their next drug fix..... shocking as that may be to you it is actually true. And to point out one minor flaw in your "game-plan" of testing a provider and whatever else you are scheming there:  Many established providers actually have the ability to trace your IP so we are aware of the exact IP address that your email originates from and if you send another email from that same IP address then we aren't fooled!

Just admitting that you use several email accounts would cause concern to most providers. Why would you need to employ such evasive behaviors? My suggestion is that you might want to stick with the type of providers who behave in the same manner that you do.... evasive, dishonest, annoying outdates type mannerisms that do not belong in the world of providers but more in the world of streetwalkers and jack-shacks.....or, the type of experience where no names or personal information is exchanged.

You are wasting the time of both yourself and a provider by playing BS games like you have described. -AND, most established providers don't have and wouldn't take the time to reply let alone play into your games. Some of what you have described is considered to be "games" and most established providers don't have the time or tolerance for such. You might also want to educate yourself just a little on use of the internet and you can then understand some of the techniques providers have at their disposal to gain a level of comfort from a gentleman before meting him.

The annoyance that you are sensing originates from the fact that what you have described is actually offensive behavior to most providers. As a professional, a man who believes it is ok to waste my time and utilize my communication for his own amusement is an annoyance. I hope you can now understand why your post was received and replied with a tone of annoyance.

My suggesting is that you use the tools available to you on TER and research to better find the provider you are seeking. There are so many tools available on this site that you should be able to not only find a provider that you have confidence in but you should also be able to gain a level of comfort that will better equip you to initiating an encounter. Your post suggests that you have not taken the time to familiarize yourself with any type of protocol or research suggestions. It's your lifestyle that you are exposing and it is your encounter that you are orchestrating, maybe you got out of it exactly what you invested.
Better luck with future endeavors......kisses ~T

"Well see I have multiple email accounts so it's not like i'm revealing who I am yet. If she doesn't respond to one I can just use another account. And i'm testing her to save my butt."


To me, that's pure deception. Why would you use multiple email accounts to test her?

Sounds like an oxymoron to me.

No hobbyist on TER would do such a thing. Providers will think that something's wrong with you.

LOL and bright guys like you are why alot of smart providers check the IP origination of the e-mails they receive. You don't REALLY think you are the only bozo who thought simply creating a new e-mail address would get around our need to be safe do you? E-mail addresses are too disposable to be trusted.

Do you have any other bright ideas you wish to share with the class? Your cautionary tales of what NOT to do are proving highly instructive to other newbies.

By the way, I suspect the lady you are referring to is probably legitmate, but perhaps she is on about the same level as you for brightness.

If Alinoh keeps on using multiple accounts to "test" providers, he's going to earn a spot at the link below:

Wasting a provider's time is a surefire way to get blacklisted.

Newbie that still doesn't get it= stupid lol

I think most ppl on here use some sort of webmail service (e.g. hotmail, gmail, yahoo, or hushmail) which won't show their IP as the origin, but instead will show the IP of the mail server.  Also, with most ppl having dynamic IPs, if he waits a day or two, he will most likely have a new IP.  

Now the reason I'm stating this is because somebody else posted the same thing and I'm wondering if there is something I've forgotten about or if this is some sort of scare tactic.

I understand. And thank you for the civilized response Tori unlike most other people on here. I'm not an ass and didn't intend to sound like one. I don't think that providers are stupid and ignorant and please believe me on that. If I did offend you I apologize. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't know that providers could track an IP address. Where might one find a tool like that? Back to my original question though,assuming the provider didn't blacklist me, what's your opinion on the responses? Should I go ahead and schedule a meeting with her? If anyone else reading this wants to flame me again, please don't post a response. It's not helpful and I get it ok?

Honestly...if she had already answered your last question to her, perhaps she didn't block you. You can take a chance and see if she would see you. BUT...do your homework, and check her reviews, and her website. Reserve the rest of your intimate questions to when your drawers are dropped, and shes workin you over like a chocolate sundea. YMMV also...so keep that in mind.

.....but thank you for the apology (*thick skin is developed after being in this profession for a short amount of time, I've been exposed to the business for nearly nine years so not much offends me*) I just try to make it clear that all providers don't exactly match that stereo-type of ignorant oppressed drug addicts.

The best gauge to dictate a possible meeting for any newbie is his level of comfort and the confidence he has in the provider. As I have already stated research is your best avenue to acquiring both.

In regard to anything else that was mentioned I dare to offer another very generalized thought: Would you communicate on a phone without knowing how to effectively utilize all of the advantages it might have? ....or a hand radio or even a fax machine?? A computer and the internet should be thought of in the same manner. Before attempting to communicate effectively and utilize all of the benefits that the internet offers one would be wisely advised to educate himself. Just because you can buy a desktop and connect to a server doesn't mean you are qualified to open the door to your livelihood and your entire life by connecting with a total stranger online.

Taking baby steps and acquiring a level of comfort before embarking on something that could possibly open the door to huge ramifications would be a great suggestion. Most established providers have a keen working knowledge of what they might need to protect themselves, if you find a provider who seems to behave in a reckless manner just remember the caution she dictates to her own life is a good indicator of the level of caution you can expect.

Happy hobbying ...-but please remember that respect in this business starts with the gentleman first. Usually a provider will respond much in the same manner that she is addressed. If you have elected to communicate with a provider but you don't have enough confidence in her to be up front without trying to "test" her (*to use your words*) then, you really shouldn't be communicating with that particular provider. Do  your homework and find a provider you have confidence in, then contact her.....   kisses ~T

Alinoh, I don't think it's possible to track your IP if you are using webmail.  If you are using a "real" email client such as Outlook, Outlook Express, or Thunderbird with a POP or IMAP account, then yes it is indeed possible.  But I imagine most hobbyists wouldn't do this because it will leave a trace of your emails on your PC (as will webmail but it's easier to clean the cache of a web browser) as well as being harder to hide from the SO.  

See my other post in this thread.

Tori>>>

From one SP to another: Kudos to you for your well thought out answers!  

Ronnie,
Naughtylady

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-- Modified on 10/15/2007 4:13:20 PM