: Newbie - FAQ Discussion : Re: Role play

roleplayer 1065 reads

posted 11 years ago

1 / 10

I am a noob at all of this. Is it cool to ask for role play on the first date? If so, I was thinking of emailing the provider what I want after she verified me or should I wait till I meet her in person?
Thanks for the advise.

Debra_Hollander See my TER Reviews 506 reads

posted 11 years ago

2 / 10

A general question should be ok.

First, just ask the lady if she offers role-play. This is an innocent enough question which I think many ladies will answer.

If yes, and she doesn't respond by asking you what it is you have in mind, then follow up by asking if you may tell her the role-play scenario you want. Unless she gives the go-ahead, do not get graphic.

Or, if there's no way to tell her what you want WITHOUT explicit language you might want to try writing it as something that happened to you in the past.... or in the form of a fictional short-story. You can find erotic stories easily enough, if you're not possessed of creative-writing skills.

Definitely ask about role-play in advance. True story: a client did not ask me anything about role-play prior to meeting, but waited to do so until we were together. Now, I don't do role-play so I should have just said no but I was curious what he had in mind so I asked him that. And he leaped forward, knocking me down, pinning me to the bed and replied, "THIS! Is this ok?"
Yeah, he wanted what I have since learned is a consensual/non-consensual (i.e. rape fantasy) scenario.
It didn't go so well for him.

So ask first.

xoxoxoxoxo

mrfisher 115 Reviews 327 reads

posted 11 years ago

3 / 10

You'll improve your odds if you select someone into BDSM. eom

END OF MESSAGE

impposter 49 Reviews 358 reads

posted 11 years ago

4 / 10

Or refer to a review

Posted By: DebbieNoonerGirl

Or, if there's no way to tell her what you want WITHOUT explicit language you might want to try writing it as something that happened to you in the past.... or in the form of a fictional short-story. You can find erotic stories easily enough, if you're not possessed of creative-writing skills.

In the case where I knew she already offered certain things in some circumstances, I have referred to a specific review (one of her's, not someone else's) and that let her know what I was interested in and she was OK with that.

Following up on Deb's suggestion about erotic stories, you might be able to refer to someone else's review of a different provider and say that it sounds like fun. Your preferred date would need VIP to read the Details of someone else's reviews

Tabu See my TER Reviews 388 reads

posted 11 years ago

5 / 10

Mr Fisher, I must disagree...

There are dozens of roleplay scenarios in common use that have nothing to do with actual power exchange, or require the mind of a domme (or a sub.)

I'm not into BDSM, but I can play the hell out of a sexy, fun and sometimes wildly imaginative roleplay idea... and I'm sure there are many other ladies who can do the same.

If the OP wants some sex along with his fantasy, he's better off with a traditional escort.

Just sayin.'

roleplayer 295 reads

posted 11 years ago

6 / 10

Thank you for all the input.

The provider that I wanted to see did not have role play in any of her reviews ( actually it was mention in her website that she rather you not post reviews after seeing her. She is very very discreet ). I already made an app with her on this coming Tuesday and she wants me to cfm & text her the day before. I am thinking of just asking like this on the text " Are you into light role-play? Nothing Kinky/crazy like be my secretary?"

MissErinBlack See my TER Reviews 361 reads

posted 11 years ago

7 / 10

I'd ask the provider if they are "open-minded" or offer role play sessions.

Lots of providers do, and not just the ones who offer BDSM as a service. I'd personally just ask the provider outright if she offers role play services, and if once your screened, if she'd be willing to discuss your role play. if it's a role play that you don't have to get too specific with via email, and can just generically discuss, that's preferable. You can hash out the details a bit before the session starts.

Personally, once I screen a client, I prefer to work all the details out ahead of time so that the role play can basically start as soon as possible.

you could attempt wording it this way:

"Dear Provider X,
My name is roleplayer, and i was wondering if you're interested in roleplaying. If you are, I'd love to share a role play scenario that interests me and find out if it interests you. Of course, I'd only share this with you once I'm screened and only if you're comfortable with me sharing.

If you're open to role play, I'll send my credentials along as soon as you confirm.

Thank you for your itme,
roleplayer"

Other ladies prefer different methods, but I think that would work well.

Good luck!
'

electr0nsrealm 45 Reviews 451 reads

posted 11 years ago

8 / 10

Role play

Role play does not imply bdsm. Role play is about imagination, improvisation and adult "play along". BDSM is something completely different. I would say bdsm is one particular form of role play, but the vast majority of the role plays I've done (I've done many) do not include bdsm. Although they do sometimes include elements of power exchange or control (the secretary wanting to please her boss to keep her job, the man caught being naughty and agreeing to do anything to keep his "secret", etc.) which are certainly aspects of bdsm play.

Asking about role play in general should be innocent enough. Be prepared to give an example or two of what you might be interested in to put the lady at ease. Role play can mean just about anything, so you'll have to talk about it. But it ALWAYS requires consent. And if you do play in the bdsm space you still have to have hard and soft limits along with associated safe words. BDSM often looks like one person having their way with another but the important point is that the sub (submissive) participant actually has the control as 1) they have consented to their participation (and are a willing and usually enthusiastic participant), and 2) can stop the session at any time by using a safe word. In BDSM appearance can be deceiving.

But I digress, as again - role play isn't about bdsm...

I usually don't do role play on a first date as I want to get to know a provider's "real" personality. There is always some communication beforehand on what I have planned to make sure she is ok with it. And of course to make sure she has the right wardrobe for the fantasy. Role play involves good communication and the creative process can often be a fun collaboration. And if you do find a lady that really enjoys role play treat her well as they are a rare and wonderful treat.

EmmaBlairDC See my TER Reviews 322 reads

posted 11 years ago

9 / 10

My perspective

I would rather you emailed me beforehand about role play. I guess it depends on your fantasy, but it might involve dressing a certain way, wearing a different style of makeup, having props, etc.

MaxineMonroeofChicago See my TER Reviews 161 reads

posted 11 years ago

10 / 10

Re: Role play

Totally agree with what you said.

Posted By: electr0nsrealm

Role play does not imply bdsm. Role play is about imagination, improvisation and adult "play along". BDSM is something completely different. I would say bdsm is one particular form of role play, but the vast majority of the role plays I've done (I've done many) do not include bdsm. Although they do sometimes include elements of power exchange or control (the secretary wanting to please her boss to keep her job, the man caught being naughty and agreeing to do anything to keep his "secret", etc.) which are certainly aspects of bdsm play.

Asking about role play in general should be innocent enough. Be prepared to give an example or two of what you might be interested in to put the lady at ease. Role play can mean just about anything, so you'll have to talk about it. But it ALWAYS requires consent. And if you do play in the bdsm space you still have to have hard and soft limits along with associated safe words. BDSM often looks like one person having their way with another but the important point is that the sub (submissive) participant actually has the control as 1) they have consented to their participation (and are a willing and usually enthusiastic participant), and 2) can stop the session at any time by using a safe word. In BDSM appearance can be deceiving.

But I digress, as again - role play isn't about bdsm...

I usually don't do role play on a first date as I want to get to know a provider's "real" personality. There is always some communication beforehand on what I have planned to make sure she is ok with it. And of course to make sure she has the right wardrobe for the fantasy. Role play involves good communication and the creative process can often be a fun collaboration. And if you do find a lady that really enjoys role play treat her well as they are a rare and wonderful treat.