Helping my friends to stay safe helps me to stay safe, keeping myself self helps my friends to stay safe... and I consider references an invaluable part of that process.  It is a professional courtesy to both my gentleman friend and to the lady he would like to see.  It reflects well on myself, and the "favor" is likely to be returned in the future.

That said, some ladies have different views and simply do not give references.  Just ask!  The worst she can say is "No."

I don't think it's insulting at all! We are all aware that we are not the first or last lady you will see- and I think most of us are totally cool with that. I personally require 1-2 provider references for new friends if they been screened through a service already (and sometimes even if they have). I am ALWAYS happy to provide a reference for any upstanding gentleman I've seen. I think it's a wonderful way for everyone to stay safe. I would totally ask your lady if it's ok with her. Worst case: she says no.

References are the grease that makes this work.

That being said, I was always extremely uncomfortable asking a lady to act as a reference, and to give out her stage name and email address.

However the ladies never seemed to mind in the least.

tc

I actually had 1 provider lie to me about not seeing a guy and told me not to see him because he had lied about meeting her but he swore up and down that they saw eachother regularly. Come to find out she then emails him telling him she can't believe he was going to see another provider and how hurt she was. Drama! I dont think this is the right prof. for her. I have gladly given references for a gentlemen and would like the same respect from other providers, simply for our own safety. Unfortaintly this girl did not have the same outlook. Yikes.

I never consider it an insult...

it is way to help keep each other safe. It is important to let the provider that you are using as a reference know before you give her info out. this way we can expect an inquiry, if we get a call or an email, out of the blue, about a client, we have ne way of knowing if it is a jealous wife or SO.

I personally prefer the gentleman to contact me either by copying me on e mail or by e mailing me prior that he would like me to be a reference for him and that such and such lady will be contacting me.

If contacted "out of nowhere" I do my own due diligence on the lady and make sure it is not someone posing as provider.

Way too many times SOs would find e mails/phone numbers and pretend to be asking for reference.

Last thing I want is to get my friend into a bind this way.

Lina

A collective Thank You for your willingness to be our references.

Thanks for all of your replies.

What makes this confusing is the GFE thing (and I'm not really into the GFE thing, BTW).

I mean, if it really was a girlfriend experience then how would a girlfriend respond to being a "reference" to another girlfriend after only one date? Not very well, I think.