Hey guys. Fairly new hobbyist here...only started doing this about 4 months ago. I have a "newbie" question about ATF's. I met this particular provider about a month ago and we seemed to hit it off almost immediately...not only was the sex amazing but we also connected on an emotional and intellectual level. I saw her again 2 more times within that same month and each time was gettin better and better. I was certain and very excited that she was going to be my first ATF. However, last week,when I saw her again, she was a completely different person...cold, indifferent....I had to initiate everything!  WTF happened?! Was I getting too close? Was I seeing her too much too fast? Yeah, I know the whole bit about not getting too attached to providers, etc, etc. But how do you make a provider an ATF if you can't make a "special" connection?

I don't think you did anything wrong in the sense of committing a faux pas; rather you are simply making the mistake of identifying a connection when, in fact, the provider was simply being the person you want her to be the first three times, and the fourth time you caught her on a bad day.

In other words, the veil around her own personal life lifted for a moment and you saw the real her, or at least the real her on a bad day.

This happens.

I think if you did something really wrong, she would simply refuse to see you, so if you think it is worthwhile, go ahead and make another appoitment and hope the first gal shows up.  

Or you are free to choose another (my recomendation, by the way.)

That's the beautiful part about this hobby.

Also please note:  I have known some regulars for over twenty years now, and I still don't believe I know them on an intimate level, though obviously we are very friendly and compatible.  In a way, I hope I never do.  Why spoil such a good thing.

On the other hand, I've broken up with some providers because they breached my boundaries.  Think about this whole boundary thing as a way for you to be protected, not just her.

Don't rush into finding a ATF.  Sounds like this little lady put the brakes on.  She probably established new boundaries so you wouldn't get attached.  My mentor suggested to me.  Never see the same girl more than once a month and never more than twice.  It's kept my head level.  Often easy to take it farther than it should be.
There are some exceptions though.  I made the mistake of seeing a UTR many times in a row.  She started taking me for granted and it started becoming more of a relationship rather than a business.  REMEMBER IT IS A BUSINESS!!!!!

Go with the flow.  Enjoy each date and don't have pre-conceived ideas about finding a ATF.  If it is going to happen; it will happen.

Lastly, YMMV.  Everybody doesn't bring their A game every time out.  She may have had some personal issues that were on her mind.

She may have feeling for you & that is scary.  I have one Fav that I considered an ATF...  I had to take a long break from seeing her...   Now I take turns between a few Favs with an occasional new Fav candidate.  
You do not "make" an ATF...  it just happens over time.  
Pay 4 Play is NSA... No Strings Attached.  I think you are trying too hard.  Unless you are single & ready to take this relationship in a different direction...  and you bring this up at your peril (providers will often refuse to see clients who are becoming attached).
I thik you need to see others & gain some perspective.
skb

I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Maybe she had other things on her mind, or just having a bad day.
It is possible that she was feeling a little too close to you and needed to back off. If you see her again and get the same treatment, it might be time to move on for a while.

ATF simply stands for "All Time Favorite"...kind of hard to have an "all time" anything after four months.

You can have a lot of favorites...and it shouldn't be something you try and make happen...
Anything you have that is your favorite...did you go out searching for it or did you just find something or someone that you just liked more than the rest?

You don't need an ATF...but if you find one great...and if you don't great.

Also, the implication that there must be an emotional connection to your ATF...that's a good way to get into a position you may not like...
the ladies in this aren't necessarily looking for clients to have an emotional connection with, and your looking for that connection to have a lady be your favorite could be setting yourself for some hurt.  

As for what happened when you saw this lady again...I agree with Mr Fisher, you saw the person behind the persona.  You got a glimpse of what is hidden behind the veil.  The ladies in this business (the good ones at least) try and bring their "A Game" to each appointment, they try and be what you want, and not bring whatever is in their lives along with them...but sometimes bad days or bad news or whatever sneaks in with them.

Part Time Favorites, typically in one or two hour doses.

There are no rules about what makes a lady your ATF. One thing that is certain however is that what she is doing is taking your money and having sex with you, she is not auditioning to be your girlfriend. Only you can decide if what a particular lady is doing makes her a favorite or not.

You don't NEED to have an ATF.  After only a few months you don't even really know what all of your preferences are going to be yet. Right now you are still immersed in the euphoria of being able to take money out of your wallet and have a beautiful woman satisfy you. As time goes by you will get a clearer picture of what is important to you and what is not.  You will also learn, if you haven't already, that, as good as the sex may be, an emotional connection is not always going to be there and quite often should not be.

we call our selves hobbiest, go an explore the hobby.  Hell dude,  try a blonde, a redhead, a brunette.  See what you like best spinners, non stop legs, or booty heaven.

Do not try to make it into a "real life" relationship.

reminded me of something a friend of mine says:

Marriage is buying
Dating is  renting (serious dating, I guess, is renting with the option to buy)
"Hobby" is time-share.

I really like the analogy of "the hobby" being time-share...
Someone stayed there before you, someone will stay there after you...but you get to enjoy while you are there. I also appreciate the pun of TIME-share. *grin*

PTF is a cute term...  I use "Favs" or "Favorite Ladies".  Simply put these are the ladies repeat with.  I could put them in a numerical order...  but that would not be static.  
skb