I met a provider and it didnt go like I planned.  She was cute though, and exactly as pictured.  it just I felt really really conflicted in terms of morals and anxiety.  We end up talking and she gave me a bbbj mostly with her on top once and lots of dfk.  I guess I just had too much stress lately (loss my job).

I just felt kind of odd and I know this sounds bad in terms of safetly but I felt a strange tingling sensation on my.... when we were getting ready.  Kind of like a spider sense but on my....  Anyway, I think I am allergic to the stuff she had.  I think it was either the spermicide, the latex condom, or lube? or combination because it felt like an allergic reaction and...  it kind of killed the mood for me I didn't tell her.  I mean I didn't know what the sensation was but it didn't feel right.

I notice something alarming on the head of my... when I pulled the skin back a few days later.  But from online research it doesn't look like a STD but rather an allergic reaction to something called Nonoxynol 9.  

http://www.livestrong.com/article/170051-nonoxynol-9-allergy-symptoms/

I have to wait a week to see my doctor.  I mean i got a bbbj and we kissed and repeat, I experience nothing bad in my throat so I'm pretty sure it's a reaction to Nonoxynol 9 in the spermicide.  Others said of experiencing a tingling sensation as well due to this chemical.  I do have not dry but sensitive skin, special detergent and all that.  So I'm not too worried as it seems like a simple to treat skin reaction with cream.  I just need to see the doctor.  Its also nothing contacious but still, I want it gone.  Can it be something else?  I guess but from all I read online it points to Nonoxynol 9 and it fits with me since I have sensitve skin.

Once I see the doctor and I get this taken care of and wait a month just to be sure I'm okay...  How do I tell a different provider, no spermicide and no lube and I'll bring my own non latex condoms?  It really looks like I'm allergic to nonoxynol 9 and its in a lot of things.  I'm also not sure if I'm compatible with the other non latex stuff.  I mean, who thinks about "Am i allergic to this for their first time?"  

I should ask this prior but...  What are the risk of DATY?  I really REALLY wanted to do that but wasn't sure.  Should I just skip it completely?  And instead of a BBBJ should it be with a glove/cover?  I like it without but in terms of safety should I ask for the cover?

also for providers:  Is Nonoxynol 9 listed on the items on the table by you?

Did you have intercourse ? The way I read this ,is you got a covered BBJ .

I'm not a doctor, but if you had this quick a reaction I doubt it was an STD, rather a skin reaction.

Years ago I also had a terrible skin rash on my cock. In my case I believe I contacted poison ivy or something similar on my hands, which was transferred to my cock, and the skin on the cock seemed much more sensitive so had a much more severe reaction than other places on my body. I went to a dermatologist, who gave me an injection and topical cream and I was back to normal quickly after.

You obviously need to communicate your allergies to providers. I'm sure they'll be understanding and cooperative. Good luck!

Yes, you should definately make providers aware of your sensitivity to this product, and bring polyethylene condoms (new, seal package) to use.

You probably should not do this until after you meet so as not to be implying sexual activites will take place.

I can't say that I've ever seen providers use this product, but maybe it is an ingredient in the lube that they use.

I don't think that product would be a normal one for providers to use because of the BJ aspect.  It doesn't sound lke an STD but then I'm not a doc either.  
I hope you are squeeky clean going into an appointment...  and you can certainly wash up at most hobby locations after and again when you get home.  It could be as simple as a soap allergy, lots of them...  or latex...  

Probably nothing important but you need peace of mind.

Reactions to spermicide are fairly common - I can't handle them either, they cause my vajayjay to swell up and look like Angelina Jolie's lips.

Since you dont know if it was the spermicide or the latex that caused the reaction, try wearing latex gloves for an hr, do you have a rash or anything on your hands?  If not, there's a good chance its not a latex allergy.

Take benadryl, that should help with the reaction for now and get yourself tested just to be absolutely sure it isnt more than just an allergic reaction.  If you can't wait a week to see the doctor call your local health dept and ask them about where to get std testing in your area.

agreed I had a similar thing happened when I shaved and red spots appeared, it turned out to be folliculitus.

The lube shouldn't have been an issue. The spermicide is one that many have reactions to if the condom is put on improperly. Bringing your own condom may be a problem as I only use ones I have brought and alot of ladies feel the same way about using their own.

As for a bbbj, if a provider is carrying something around in her mouth and doesn't know it then yes you could have caught something. Don't freak out, it is possible but a well reviewed lady gets tested frequently so it isn't normal for that to happen. I would never take the chance, covered is always the safest.

I have come to find out over the years that I am allergic to spermicide. I no longer use condoms that have it on them. I sometimes use a contraceptive sponge in my personal life, but of course it has spermicide in it. That's how I found out that it was the spermicide I was allergic to. I thought I had a latex allergy before then. The condoms I used to replace latex condoms do not have spermicide on them, so I thought I had found the solution. Anyways, I still use the latex free and spermicide free condoms. But, every once in a while, I still used a contraceptive sponge. The spermicide of course make me itch after I take it out. So once I take it out I take a bath. And I don't notice anything else afterwards. Maybe, I am allerigic just not so bad. Maybe you are allergic more than most.

I do recommend using latex free and spermicide free condoms, I love the lifestyles SKYN condoms. They are wonderful!

As for how safe is DATY, you run a risk doing anything without a condom. You need to find what you are comfortable with. If you are seeing well-known providers, they have a lot to lose if they don't take care of their self and makes sure they are clean. I would stick with well-known providers and do what you are comfortable with.

I hope this helps.

Posted 6:27PM

My posts as a newbie are being held up  so many hours in  the que that I doubt this will get up on the board in time to be of help unless something's changed which discourages you from posting at all.

Without seeing the lesion on the OP's penis, you are going to be guessing at what he might have.
Most likely latex or nonoxynol-9 allergy.
The type pain he described with the timing puts at the top of the differential list either , but less likely if he doesn't have a Hx of  it latex allergy which most condoms are made of,  and never used one with the spermicide,but it could happen any time.
That's why most Hx forms you fill out when seeing an MD have questions about latex allergy-=-not specifically the penis, but in general because it can go the gamut from mild to full anaphylactic shock so for example you don't want to be doing a colonoscopy or any outpt procedure and have a significant latex allergic reaction.
1-3% US allergic to latex. 6-7% who work with latex.
Latex allergy rash on penis or vaginal mucosa.
So can perfumed bubble bath, soap, shower gels even herpes which can sometimes present as an erythmic rash with or without the classic blistered vesicles that are in clusters like a bunch of grapes.
If latex is a problem there are non-latex condoms like Durex Avanti, DZ or Tactylon.
Burning most likely nonoxynol-9 that seemed into the urethra with that timing.  It can cause rash commonly as well.
Noxynol-9 less freq. used because it can increase HPV in women.
A large series in NEJM: The use of a nonoxynol 9 vaginal film did not reduce the rate of new HIV, gonorrhea, or chlamydia infection in this group of sex workers who used condoms and received treatment for sexually transmitted diseases.

You asked about DATY:  Risks are Herpes, HPV, Gonorrhea, and Syphilils although since the introduction on the market of Penicillin in 1945 syphillis cases are much rarer but they are still seen.

Cunnilingus is considered a low-risk behavior compared with vaginal or anal intercourse, but it's not completely risk-free.   Since you are no where near the cervix where these infections live, you're very unlikely to get GC (gonorrhea) or chlamydia. The person  performing DATY can get vaginal lining disease conceivably like Herpes, HPV (Human Paipilloma Virus) with Type 16 and others correlating to  causing cervical cancer in women, and syphilis which is pretty rare in 2012 but not prior to 1945 when Pen hit the market.  

If you are the one with the  "Y" and being given head, then you have a relatively small risk that  you could get HSV-1 (herpes) from the person giving you head if he/or she had herpes lesions on the lip.  Not all blisters on the  lip are herpes by any means although  I've seen plenty of people  who worry they are.

The  only way to decrease the  relatively low risk from DATY is to use things that are cumbersome, and most people find kills the pleasant sensation from  it.  Condoms and dental dams. For people allergic to latex, dental dams are made in silicone.  Saran wrap can work just as well.  The problem with these is that they are not likely to stay on at all in  reality, and it's a cold day in July when anyone wants  to  use them.  A dental dam would reduce the chance of getting Herpes or HPV if the person performing DATY had it.

I  wouldn't be very afraid of DATY.  The enjoyment heavily outweighs the risk unless either partner  knows of a significant lesion on one of them.  In that case, I  would put  off oral sex until the lesion is resolved or Tx by a doc.


A very compelling reason for  providers to definitely get the HPV vaccine by all means and despite some political noise about mandatory vaccination which I  believe in, and Liz Hasselbeck the  infectious disease expert on The View's objections to giving it to Grace and the other daughter in a few years (Liz won't and she's the  least bright bulb on that panel).

Granted we don't know the long range repercussions side effects of HPV vaccine but the  merits and prevention of significant incidences of cervical cancer make a compelling recommendation for  the vaccine in girls likely to have sex and  a significant percentage start at age 13-15 approximatelyh 7-9% according to CDC.

A couple years ago an NIH survey showed 12,200 women in US were Dx'd withCerfvical  CA and 4,000  women in the US  died from  cervical CA.

Pap smears have defnitely made a significant dent in Cervical CA.  We have a much harder time with uterine CA and ovarian CA because those cells extrude down toward the tip of or endocervical lining with only about a 40% frequency. Right now a serum test for ovarian or uterine CA is 50% so we're talking flip of a coin unfortunately and diagnosing those diseases remains a challenge  in 2012.  Try to make sure your MD always gets endocervical cells on your  Pap smear for any  ladies reading this with a small brush pushed gently into the cervical opening because the  endocervical  area near it is where they start.  Getting those  cells is considered mandatory by all Gyn literature and standards for cervical ca dx. It is of course your doc's job to get those cells and it would be a rare doc that doesn't know to  do it but they exist.  A gyn will  always get them.

While you're  waiting to see your derm, if you are still experiencing itching or your rash you can rub a light amount of OTC 1% HTC cream on the area, but a long standing derm  caveat is to  use low concentration steroid cream on the penis or scrotum because high concentration flourinated steroids have been known to sluff scrotal skin when liberally,sloppily, applied.  My smart derm friends warn against ever using it on  the scrotal skin, and if you have a lesion there it should be seen by a dermatologist obviously.

If you have prednisone  oral  on hand, or could  get an Rx, there is little harm  in trying it using a tapered dose recommended by your MD, similar to a very effective Tx for poison ivy like: 60 mg. X 1 week, 40 mg. X 1 week, 20 mg. X 1 week.   Most dermatologists are going to want to  see the lesion/rash before Rxing.


Good luck, and I hope I answered some  of your questions, and that TER gets this post up before tomorrow. I don't know how long a delay is  for newbies.

I'm not worried, from all I've read online it's an allergy.  Just hope it goes away.  Should give it time, I think I might scare a provider away.  It doesn't look that bad at all.  You have to move the skin back to see it and I don't have to do that at all.  Even with a hard on, I don't need to move the skin back.  

I haven't seen my doctor in 2yrs, I just never get sick.  Haven't had a flu since high school and that was in 03.

No weird coloring.  It just...  doesn't look right having it there.  It felt kind of itchy at first but not really anymore.    

I did feel a tingling sensation while I was there, I was like "WTH?" I guess I should of realize it was an allergic reaction.  No wonder I had so much trouble and lost interest immediately, I had an allergic reaction going on.  lol, I should of realize that from the beginning.  I was like, I know I'm nervous, have some kind of anxiety, but something else is wrong that is preventing me from enjoying this....  But what????  lol, how embarrassing.

I guess polyurethane is the best bet.  Unless its possible to be allergic to that?

I remember the brand was Lifestyles and it was in a silver/gray wrapper.  I forgot what the other item was, it made me feel numb and I hated it.  There was also something else, I can't remember what and that gave me that tingling sensation.

But won't providers feel hesitant when I bring my own condoms?  And aren't some really pro spermicide?  I feel like I should state this before hand.  It would be kind of arkward waiting till the last possible moment only to find out spermicide is mandatory for her.

Thanks for the amazing detail. I for one appreciate it!

I can't and never would speak for a provider since I'm not one, and the providers you are interested in are female providers. I read a recent heated thread where Meena beautifully made that point to someone who was trying to lecture her on orgasms and providers who called himself an  accountant.

But the medical facts are as the NEJM large series substantiated, that spermicides do an excellent job killing sperm should their be a nexus of a broken condom and the provider were at a point in their cycle where they could be impregnated.  I don't have any doubt that the group of providers I've seen post here are very sophisticated about birth control, STDs, etc. It would go without saying that they would be.  In fact, in the case of some infectious diseases spermicides can exacerbate them/make them worse.

Spermicides not  only don't prevent STD transmission, they may increase STDs as well as HIV transmission:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment/2010/clinical.htm

This is a quote from the most recent CDC recommendation and literature summary on spermicides taken from the CDC article linked above:

"Studies examining nonspecific topical microbicides for the prevention of HIV and STD have demonstrated that these products are ineffective (38,39). Studies of spermicides containing N-9 have demonstrated that they should not be recommended for STDs/HIV prevention (40), and more recent randomized controlled trials have failed to show a protective effect against HIV acquisition"


The recommendations by infectious disease lit, OBGYNs, other specialties, and the CDC is that women who have multiple sexual partners whether providers or civies, *don't* use spermicides, but every individual should make their reproductive decisions for themselves with the help of their physician, and I'm not telling people what each of them should do, rather telling them the medical reasoning behind what might be best for them to do.  

Nonoxynol-9 causes vaginal irritation in some women, and penis irritation in men, and it's not that uncommon. MDs see it. Your pain at the time, was possibly because the spermicide seeped into your urethra and the nerves in the urethra as you can imagine are highly sensitive to things that get in there like catheters or liquids.  Most males experience that at some time once or more in their lives.

Spermicides can ulcerate the vagina or penis in the right person, although they don't do it often or they wouldn't be on the market just as with side effects of any med.  The bell shaped curve of medicines always have at least about a 5%-6% side effect rate at a baseline and some have more when they are taken through clinical trial stages to get approval for marketing, called NDAs.

During anal sex, it is possible for spermicides to cause rectal lining sores, increasing the risk for STDs.  This is one compelling reason for providers who allow anal sex, and a number of them do, not to use condoms *with spermicides* during the anal sex that they may choose to have. Note I didn't say don't use condoms, I said don't use condoms with spermicides for the anal sex.

Spermicides don't have efficacy preventing bacterial or viral infections as was first thought when they got to market in the  early 1980''s.  In fact spermicides don't prevent STDs at all we know now, and that message may not have gotten across to the general population.  In fact if a spermicide were to cause penile or vaginal ulceration, and fortunately most don't, it would increase the chance for an STD to be transmitted. Series after series in the literature have confirmed this like the NEJM large series. They do have efficacy in killing sperm, but a lot of docs I know recommend only using them for a limited amount of times say 3X/mo to help with birth control because of side effects. Spermicides have a place for women who don't want to use oral contraceptives, and they will show up in breast milk but don't harm a baby.

I saw a forum on another site where a veteran client recommended bringing condoms if you saw a provider that might run out someday after an active session  with multiple pops.

I would  think that if you quickly explain to the provider "I'm allergic to x so I brought what works well for me", that they would not have any problem with that at all, any more than if you told them your allergic to poison ivy and you'd rather not climb through it.  Good providers want you to have a good experience, not one that causes you a medical allergy  if you know you have  one.

Communication is important, and helps whether it's what you want the provider to wear, or what you would like to do, and I would *think* providers would want you to communicate to them rather than not.

If you think you have something that might concern a provider why not wait until you and your dermatologist get this situation under control?  I suspect he or she will reassure you very quickly. and you'll be able to put that propblem behind you and go on to enjoy the hobby.

From what you described, what you have is very probably an allergy, not a communicable infectious disease, although  diagnosis without seeing a patient has obvious intrinsic limitations, and isn't ever the  way diagnosis should be done,  and the timing is you are close to seeing your derm appointment.

What has begun to flourish and spread in medicine now though are websites where good MDs voluteer their advice from every subspecialty or area of primary care, and email or even chat communication between docs and their patients.  The digital age is alsy greatly enhancing the ability to diagnose and treat in the sense that images and other studies needing interpretation of an expert can be relayed to a bigger center with more expertise in house from small towns or cities, and smaller hospitals to bigger ones with more trained personnel and more tools and equipment.

I am sure there have been situations where someone has X and a provider or a civie girlfriend interprets it incorrectly since they aren't all physicians. You are describing redness, with no blisters or lesions I think.

In a few days, you will get this quickly resolved with your doc and be past this problem.  If I were you I would take some of my own condoms to your visits with a provider and just say "I'm alergic to spermicides"--getting into a medical seminar about the relative merits of spermicides with a provider who might not have the latest CDC infectious disease info won't help you of course when you're there to have a great time during an hour, but I feel confident they will understand your allergy, if that's what you in fact have, and it sounds that way,  easily.

-- Modified on 4/11/2012 2:39:32 PM

-- Modified on 4/11/2012 3:50:05 PM

The Lifestyles that I am aware of are the one's in a gray wrapper(Ultra sensitive) & the one's in blue wrapper(ultra thin), but neither one of those have spermicide in them. Lifestyle has poly also(in a blue wrapper). I personally will never use anything with spermicide in it, as like a lot of others, I react badly to it.