I joined the TER and I am eager to have some GFEs. I contacted several providers in LA/OC area but I only got one reply, from who's taking a vacation in Canada. So How should I approach them?

Well, to answer your question, my question for you is what are you saying in your e-mails?

If she has a contact form on her website, are you using that or sending her an e-mail directly? This wouldn't bother me, but some women can be very particular, and will respond only to inquiries made via their contact form.

Are you stating a specific time that you had in mind? If I get an e-mail that says something like "I would like to come see you sometime", I often times won't answer because the sender doesn't appear to be serious, or know what he wants. When he makes up his mind about getting together, we'll have something to talk about then.

Are you including screening information? If I get an e-mail and it simply says that he's interested in seeing me, but provides no information about himself - contact info, references, membership with a verification site, etc, I'm generally going to assume he's one of those "private types" who refuses to give out any information. Furthermore, if I do get any information from him, it will probably bear a strong resemblance to pulling teeth to get it.

Finally, are you mentioning any form of specific acts? When I get e-mails asking if I do this particular act or that, I immediately delete, and add the e-mail to my blocked list. This is a big no no.

These are probably the three biggest reasons why e-mails go unanswered. It may not be any of the above. Sometimes life gets in the way of a provider's business. I just took an unwanted, unexpected 3 week vacation myself after having emergency surgery. Needless to say, some e-mails went unanswered for a while LOL. If your initial contact says the right things, just be patient, you will get responses. Hope this helps

Oh, I mentioned that I am willing to go through a screening...

Well, patience is also important. If you aren't saying the wrong things, and are saying all the right things, then you can rest assured the problem isn't on your end. Regrettably, not all ladies are professional and timely. Additionally, as happened with me last month, sometimes life just lands on you with both feet LOL.

If you haven't gotten a reply after a day or two, try sending one more e-mail to the lady. If you still don't get a response from her, then its probably wise to move on at that point.

ambelamba; in reading your posts on both LA & this Newbie board I get the sense that possibly your combined urgency and naivety is off-putting to the providers.  

 Get familiar with the Acronym & Newbie manual attop the page.
Relax; the hobby has been around for eons and it ain't disappearing any time soon.

It takes a little patience & savvy; but it/they WILL come.

Yeah, I have anxiety disorder. And yes, I am totally naive when it comes to this GFE thing. I never realized that this is a hobby for a circle of few selected people.

Oh, well. On the positive note I am no LE on some sting.

and surely millions of consumers "a hobby for a circle of few selected people" I'd add "persecution complex" to your equation.

 Your malapropisms in regards to "LEO", "GFE" etc also are not ‘common’ newbie foibles/mistakes.

 You mentioned on the LA board that you’re a recovering soldier of the God-Squad. I suggest a period of introspection and purging of preconceptions, pre-judgments, and general myopic thinking before jumping headlong into close intimate contact with demonstrably more libertine and independent ideologies than you're accustomed to.

You needn't be LE to be/become a major problem to a provider.

Thanks for your input. But I guess anxiety attack has more damage than religious upbringing does. I've been an atheist for four years.

And yeah, I became pretty much anti-religious.

doesn't necessarily wash away the subtle effects of the past orthodoxy, and if any creature has a sixth sense about predispositions and prejudice it is a WOMAN.


Just as celebrities attract deluded admirers and stalkers, so too do providers.
If a provider senses an extraordinary “urgency” or obsession in a hobbyist’s e-mail, telephone communications, etc they often will summarily dismiss you as a problem waiting to happen.  

Simply giving opinion to what may be subtly working against him without any knowledge of it.

'ambelamba' posed the query as well as offer some insights. Drawing upon experience learned witnessing others as well as my own epiphanies I humbly opined.  

Yeah, I fully understand.

The reason why I became so urgent was that I came to realize that lack of intimacy causes some kind of jinx. Yeah, you heard it right. I fear that a lack of intimate encounters generates some kind of jinx that hinder the progress of my life.

Sounds pretty superstitious, I know. Let's say I am trying to remove the gypsy's curse by having a GFE. I am not lying.

So now you understand why I feel so urgent.

Um, yeah. You are right. And magical thinking (coined by Carl Sagan) is hard to shake off. Look, thousands of people in my home country still flock to shamans and soothsayers. I was a cradle catholic, and many catholics believe in mystical stuff. Although I am an atheist now, I am still haunted by mystical thinking.

You said you think there is a "curse" on you keeping you from getting pussy.
Surprise ambelamba! There IS!!!!

 Females can subconsciously detect through pheromones etc when a guy is a winner, or a loser. If the ole factory nerves and body language tell a woman that no other women has been near you for months the forces behind 'natural selection' cause the woman to be disinterested.
Conversely; if the "sixth sense" signals are telling a woman that you're viral, and sought after by other females her interest in you increases exponentially.

  When I was in my mid twenties I experienced first hand the aforementioned dynamics. I found that if I had a girl friend dry spell the simple act of seeing a hooker would turn my luck for the better, and usually within 48 hours.  

Your “curse” ambelamba is simply nature’s process of seeking procreation with the more prized stock.

Your post was very interesting.  It may be crazy but back when I was in my twenties, whenever I was in a monogomous relationship it always seemed like the ladies would hit on me (even though I was no great stud).  Evemtually, I would get the idea that I was a great stud becaue women were coming on to me and I would idioctially break up with me SO.  Once I did that it seemed like I could go to a bar and get no action whatever.  It does seem like women do have a sixth sense.  I am not sure if it is superstition, voodoo or pheromones but it certainly messed me up when I was younger.

Ain't that the damn truth and it has to do with we are acting more confident when we are getting regular pussy