I entered the hobbie about one year ago. I started off on backpage then stumbled upon TER. I had to learn everything myself because I was either too embarassed or unwilling to share with anyone outside the providers. At first I was doing it about once a month, it was AWESOME!! About month seven I decided to up my budget and see what this "GFE" thing was all about. My first encounter was INCREDIBLE. I left there thinking about her non-stop, I lasted about 4-5 days before I made another appointment. The second encounter was more of the same.
Fast-foward to today, I just left the (lost count) visit with her. For the past four months we have seen each other at least once a week. Although, I have never seen her for free I have had many extended visits for just the hour rate. I know many personal things about her and vice versa. We now text almost daily. Here it goes........I have totally fallen for her. I feel like a love-sick teenager. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Here's what I have learned; I'm sure that I can have "no strings" sex, however I was no match for trying to pretend love. I am only capable of doing it for real. I have not told this provider because I still know how we met, I still know that I not had her presence for free, but does that ultimately matter? So I'm not sure how this plays out.
BTW, not to be arrogant, but I believe/know that I can get laid in the civvie world. When I looked into the hobby, it seemed like a way to have some fun. I had know idea this person was going to walk into my life and have this effect. I wasn't looking for it or wanted it from the hobbie. I just felt the need to share somewhat anonymously. I sincerely doubt I'm alone on this. I have PM'd some vets and they were super helpful in my journey. Thank You
If anyone feels the need to bash, just know, I'm just going to laugh at he response.
Are you single? Are you capable of commitment? Can you deal with her working in sex industry? Would you like to retire? Does she want to retire? Can she afford to retire? Are you ready to support her financially while she is in transition from being a sex worker to be a civilian? Are you capable of walking away from the hobby?
That's what the LG used to call your situation. Go over to the Erotic Highway board, while the LG is long gone, do a search on this topic. You will see threads galore, maybe you'll pick up some pointers on how to proceed.
Oh and for my advice, unless you offer to take her out to dinner without paying then you'll never know. If you ask and she says no, then she is just playing the game bc if your seeing her once a week then shes making a good amount of money off of you and doesn't want to lose that....if she says yes, and then you hook up after and you only paid for her dinner then you may be on to something.
To the OP: I'm not really sure what your point is in telling us the info.
If it is working out OK, then fine. Enjoy it. Many guys (myself included) have very close relationships with providers and we make it work.
Often, however, it leads to problems, as you can well imagine.
Just remember to be very honest with yourself and take off the rose colored glasses every once in a while.
If you want to ask some specific questions after researching the EH Board, please feel free to.
As I said, I haven't shared this with anyone in my life and it felt bottled up, so this seemed like a pretty safe sounding board. I feel I have a good grip on reality, which is why I haven't said anything to her.
your feelings to her? Are you wanting to date her..marry her or just simply get this off your chest? You do know that we're much cheaper by the hour, right? Dating her does not mean free booty, ever.....no such thing. What are your motives and goals? Providers are just like amy other women out there....we don't wear makeup, thongs and stilletos 24/7....we shop out asses off just like other women. We dont shave out legs regularly and make pigs outta ourselves when y'all aren't looking....nothing's different....it can work and has worked beautifully!!...just know we are expense no matter what...k
your feelings to her? Are you wanting to date her..marry her or just simply get this off your chest? You do know that we're much cheaper by the hour, right? Dating her does not mean free booty, ever.....no such thing. What are your motives and goals? Providers are just like amy other women out there....we don't wear makeup, thongs and stilletos 24/7....we shop out asses off just like other women. We dont shave out legs regularly and make pigs outta ourselves when y'all aren't looking....nothing's different....it can work and has worked beautifully!!...just know we are expense no matter what...k
To be perfectly honest I have no motives. I was literally blindsided by how much we connected and how strong my feeling have grown. I'm recently divorced, so I am well aware of the cost of a relationship. I have no idea what this will turn into, because I would almost rather not ruin or make it awkward by telling her. In this case, the first move is hers. If she does not make one then I'll have to decide if the situation, the way it is, is fullfilling enough or if its time to move on. I care about her enough to not want to put her in a difficult situation. The whole reason for writing this thread was to show how different the rules are in this world vs the civvy world, even though you're still dealing with the same feelings and emotions. As I stated before I wasn't built to pretend love. If that is weak or imature, oh well, I can't just change how I feel.
don't go sabotage it by no longer seeing her. Also...why u trying to see who can hold out the longest before admiring you have feelings for her. Life comes with no guarantees. What if something happens and you don't have the chance to tell her how you feel...would you regret no doing so, yes cuz you have a conscience..! Man up...tell her how you feel...she might surprise you. Seriously, you guys gotta start among more initiative, k...she will love and admire you for it !!
don't go sabotage it by no longer seeing her. Also...why u trying to see who can hold out the longest before admiring you have feelings for her. Life comes with no guarantees. What if something happens and you don't have the chance to tell her how you feel...would you regret no doing so, yes cuz you have a conscience..! Man up...tell her how you feel...she might surprise you. Seriously, you guys gotta start among more initiative, k...she will love and admire you for it !!
I was speaking hypothetically, I am ready to walk yet. Not sure about if I'll say anything, my gut tells me no but time will tell.
I just turned 34 and Ive only been in love one other time. I'm not sure I agree with the "it's easy to fall" comment.
I believe what Meena is trying to say is that a lot of what you experience with her involves smoke and mirrors and you don't have an absolutely certain way to separate that from reality. You could very well be in love with the IDEA of it. I've never been in love with any of my gents but I still care about their well-being and truly like many of them. In a nutshell, I guess you only have a few options (that I can think of): 1. Keep your mouth shut and continue on as usual 2. Tell her and pretty much have the whole thing blow up in your face 3. Try the SD approach and offer to take her shopping one day instead that does not involve sex or actual cash and gauge her reaction
I appreciate everyone's optimism about how a situation like this might work and you and she can go riding happily into the sunset . . . Some of us guys who do this (sounds like you, I can relate) may think at first we're getting into this for the physical relief and enjoyment, but eventually we realize we need a connection . . . yes, an emotional connection. Fine if it's for the hour or two or four or overnight or even weekend that you're together, love and connect like you're the greatest love story in the world. But when she becomes who you're thinking about in most of your other waking moments, when you're NOT with her, time to prepare yourself for a roller coaster ride. So she treats you really well when you're together and gives you extra time when you're together . . . my friend, if you're seeing her once a week or more and ponying up even for an hour or two each time, sure she is good to you, but think on it - that may be just good business, you're a fun and reliable source of pretty nice steady income. If you suggest you keep doing that or anything else with no cash flow any longer, you might be very disappointed with the reaction.
I'm not saying it's not possible, but I've been in this situation before, and as I suggested, prepare yourself for a roller coaster ride, because you and she may be in the biggest train wreck situation of all - where she really DOES care about you, maybe even a lot, but is ambivalent because she doesn't want to go where it sounds like you may want to. Anyway, I truly do wish you good luck in this, just keep in control of yourself.
This happened to me as well, fell in love with a provider as well. First ask yourself, are you in love or in lust? What I learned from my experience, you have to remember that providers see men all day long. Some providers may be able to adjust their profesional feelings from their personal feelings. Now you have to see it from their side, seeing men all day long, will she still be excited? Or look at it this way, if you are dating a chef, and they come home after a hard days work. The last thing they what to do is see more pots and pans. Yes they love their work, but you cant ask or expect them to prepare a gourmet meal every night.
Love is a many splendid thing my friend and a double edged sword as I'm sure you realize when your mind is not fogged. As stated by others here there is A LOT to consider and the fact that you're together in hour or two blocks is a very valid point. We all know that a standard dating relationship where we meet people through "standard" means is filled with perils!! This situation is beyond filled with difficulty at the outset. Say she does feel the same, but still likes and wants to see clients she has a "relationship" with , how do you manage that. When you are not together you'll be wondering if she's fucking someone else whether you want to think it or not. Our minds are effected by hormones and emotions and seeing the light of day is not always an easy thing to do!!
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