Finding a happy medium, is going to be the vain of my existence.
Now this is only my personal take on things, so here goes.
Someone who has joined a verification site, is no farther ahead in the game, at least with me, than someone who hasnt joined a verification site. What does your screening membership ID tell me? Well, I am only familiar with one, but I assume they all work off of a similar concept. It tells me that you paid a fee, to receive a membership ID, that keeps your identity anonymous. Knowing you are Fred-21-M-1234, doesnt tell me anything.
If you contacted me and presented me with two references and their information, or if you came to me through a site, with those same two references, in the form of an okay, they are still the same two references, they dont carry any more weight or value, and neither do you.
A TER username handle, that is connected to your two reviews, far outweighs in value and information, a screening membership ID with two okays, on any given day. I will NEVER except, a verification site membership ID, as my sole source for screening. But I have absolutely, excepted a TER username handle, as my sole source of screening. Provided that it is connected, with his posts and reviews, that is sometimes all I need to know to need know.
It boils down to this, she has to be able to make a decision on whether she would feel comfortable seeing you or not. Ask yourself this, if the tables were turned, could you make a decision to see someone, based soley on the information that you are willing to give her? Would you see me based on Jaycee-29-R-1234? No pictures, no reviews, just some okays from people that you dont know?
Contact ladies you are interested in. Give them the full scoop on your reference situation in your polite introductory e-mail or conversation. Be prepared to offer up some personal or work information for screening purposes. If they don't want to see you, nicely thank them for their time and ask if it would be okay to contact them back after you have some further references. Whether the answer is yes or no, don't leave a bad impression. You can be a newbie, but leave a good vibe behind you. News travels.
Sooner or later, there will be ladies that say yes. See them, write reviews. Be polite and ask nicely if you may use them as references. If you have fun, consider seeing them again, to keep yourself fresh in their mind and build a relationship.
Repeat this process until you get the hang of it, and you have a number of references. After awhile, things get easier. We've all been there. I got started that same difficult way, without the benefit of a reference service. It can be done. Just be a good, safe client and do what is expected and appropriate. Read the lady's website for her etiquette page or FAQ before seeing her. Be on time and an efficient communicator for logistics stuff. The easier you can make it on them, the better it works for you in the long run.
Patience, grasshopper.
you could waste your time with lower tiered providers, but you'd be better off with seeing the best of the best. Not all great providers are alike, and some having a less PITA screening process. Find one, try repeating, and then politely ask they give you as a reference. Not in the actual sessions, but later on, right before you need it. This is what I did, and it worked for me.
