I've been having a few conversations with a provider and we decided that we would like to see each other.  We never set a date.  So nothing is official.

How do I tell her that I changed my mind and Im not interested in seeing her anymore?  I wanna do it in a nice way.  Im not cancelling on her cause we never had anything official planned.

Has she been contacting you looking to set a date & time? If she hasn't don't worry, she may be busy enough that she doesn't need to spend time trying to drag you in for a session. If she has been contacting you to follow up just tell her you have changed your mind due to time constraints, budget constraints, you decided you wanted to see someone closer, you wanted to see someone with a different hair color... whatever the reason is. If you do like her but not to see just yet, tell her that. Be truthful, be polite but not cold, and don't make it complicated or full of drama.

If you haven't booked an appointment, there is no need to tell her anything. She will know by the fact that you haven't contacted her. Providers get this all the time and think nothing of it. It's not like she's hanging around her phone wondering when that man will favor her with a call.

If your exchanges with her reached the point where the time of the appointment was literally the only piece of info outstanding, you might tell her out of courtesy that your situation has changed. But I would say that's only to avoid being labeled a time waster. Whatever you do, don't tell her you've lost interest.

but a provider should never hound you for an appointment.  
She should be able to schedule appointments based on her internet presence, sparkling conversation,....et cetera.....

Don't be pushed into something because your new and unsure what to do.
This hobby is all about choices and that's what makes it fun.  Don't let anyone suck the fun out of it for you.  

Thanks

Both of you will be fighting to leave the room!

As a provider, I actually categorize the emails I get from potential clients.
One category is "missed connections."
These are men that I've connected with, and for whatever reason we weren't able to schedule a date.

I would rather a man tell me he's not interested so I don't waste time fostering further communication.
Being straight REALLY works for me.
But that's just me.



-- Modified on 8/15/2011 4:37:25 PM

Wouldn't saying his "situation has changed" (which could mean anything from romance to bankruptcy) accomplish the same thing for you? It seems needlessly blunt to say he lost interest. I doubt if that would be taken with the same equanimity by all providers, much as I admire your professional attitude.

Besides, reading the OP's post, it seemed likely to me that what he portrayed as mutual enthusiasm ("we decided that we would like to see each other") was more on his part that hers. Personally, I would never be in his position. I practically never contact a provider to begin with until I'm sure that I want to see her.

Sure, I can see what you're saying.
I'm just a pretty literal gal, and if someone expressed an interest, and said much less than "I've changed my mind," I might think they were still a potential client.
I might even continue sending flowers to their house.
Oh, wait... did I say that?


But, at the end of the day, if  providers business is flourishing, there should be no need to chase anyone down. I'm far more fond of that scenario.

I, too, as a provider have had gentlemen who've changed their mind for various reasons. I do not take it personally. Rather I choose to focus on the ones who care to see me. I prefer the directness. It just  makes life easier. I've also had occasions where I've chosen not to see a client for various reasons as well. Again, the goal is to provide a pleasurable experience... I say for both parties involved.