I've been interested in the hobby world for a while now. My sexual experience is not vast, and I'm somewhat shy and quiet. I've gone to a few FBSM providers thinking it would be a good introduction to the hobby. I've enjoyed it, although I do tend to feel guilty and ashamed right afterwards. I still can't get myself to go for the full service experience. I'm not sure if maybe it's just not in my psychology to hobby, but if anyone has any advice, I'm all ears (well, mostly anyways).
There is not right or wrong to this. I started with a FBSM... with a lovely lady who allowed more. If that is what you are comfortable with, that's fine. This is supposed to be fun. Do not stress yourself. When you are ready, you may find a lovely lady who starts with a massage...
skb
bu then I had a realization that prompted me to take the plunge:
Some day I will be dead for a very long time.
I haven't looked back since.
I hope this helps.
I think feelings of guilt and shame are normal in the starting stage of hobby. I do not know if you are feeling guilty because you have a family or because you consider this hobby as "immoral" I took the plunge(all the way) recently and prior to that my P4P exp was very limited. I did have feelings of guilt before taking the plunge(because of family), but not anymore. Finally it is upto us to rationalize our behaviour and feel comfortable about it. You cannot expect others to rationalize your behaviour for you.
I use an analogy to justify my indulgence in the hobby. I compare sex to food. Now it is obvious that all of us need food( and for many sex) to survive. If you do not get food (sex) at home, you have 3 options:
Make it yourself(jerk off): Gets boring and not as gratifying.
Keep a cook ( Mistress/Have an affair) for this purpose: Problem is it is not discreet and you can run into emotional problems with this.
Go to a resturant ( Vist an escort): this is what the hobby is about. THe beauty is just like how you have expensive and cheap resturants, you have various level providers to meet your budget.
Also just like how you can indulge in different cuisine like Italian, Mexican, Asian etc, you can meet diff ethnic providers according to your liking. After all variety is the spice of life.
Just like how you would visit Zagat before visitng a resturant to check reviews, you would vist TER to check reviews of providers.
No strings, no emotional attachments, you pay for what you want and get what you pay for. After the hour is up, you can forget about all the hassels that go with a civvie date and go about your business, your batteries recharged.
Just like how you might occ exp bad resturants, you can have have bad exps with providers, but with adequate research, this should be minimized.
Last but not least just like how you might get food poisoning in a resturant, there is a risk of infections here also. But with adequate precautions, you should be able to minimize it.
Hope that helped.
Go ask the LoveGoddess. This is exactly her cup of tea. Also pay attention to what MrFisher said, because I think he nailed 
I'm a 'mature' guy. I had never looked twice at another woman when I was in a relationship... not even when my ex was cheating & doing her best to get me to leave. But I can to the realization that there were certain things I had never done... and I never would unless I looked elsewhere. I have had some delightful experiences. This is a very personal decision. No one can or should make it for you.
skb
There is no right or wrong way to do this, as long as you're being honest with yourself, and not doing anything detrimental to yourself or the provider.
I don't "go all the way" either, though I do more than FBSM. I draw the line at oral for a variety of reasons, which are all mine.
You need to find your reasons and not (in my mind) rationalizations (which, to me, are false reasons) - though I don't believe that this is what vmalik meant.
The process to decide what is right for you is yours alone, and we can offer our perspectives, but ultimately you have to make that decision about what to do, or not do. Like the inevitability of death, nobody can make that trip for you.
You should stick with what feels right to you. There is nothing wrong with FBSM sessions. This is a hobby and you are paying for a service. I'm a single guy so I never feel guilty about seeing providers. I have seen some wonderful ladies who provided me with outstanding performances and lifetime memories. Get yourself a VIP membership and do some homework. You just may find a great girl who will understand you and break the ice for you. When that happends, you'll never turn back. Good luck, have fun and play safe.
SR
All in all, I relate to what skb said above: this is supposed to be FUN. That's one of the things a lady told me before I took the plunge and it really did take the edge off when I thought of it that way.
You aren't meeting a provider to impress anyone, not her and not yourself.
Entertainment is something that everyone pays for whether they are going to a movie, eating out at a restaurant, or indulging in an erotic rendezvous with a provider.
With those things said, I would definitely not invalidate your feelings of guilt. Those feelings are very real and they are there for a reason. Explore them thoroughly: if you truly feel that the hobby world is not right for you, then trying to force yourself to enjoy it will only be an unhealthy thing to do.
Good luck to you, and remember: relax and have fun!
