I am new (about a month) and had some frustrations getting an appointment without a reference. I appled for verification through p411 and Date Check. In the interim, I emailed some local providers and one experienced lady just took a chance on me. We had a great time, I used her as a reference, and now am approved through two verification sites.  Be polite, understanding, and remain patient. You will get rolling eventually.

I am a member of Preferred411.com, but in your area another service may be a dominant one. You give your information to them, they verify you, then you contact providers through this service. That way you don't give the providers any information.

There are 3 big ones, DateCheck, Preferred411 aka P411, and RoomService 2000 aka RS2K.  Check around in your part of the country and see which is most popular.  In my part of FL, DC and P411 are the most used.  RS2K is popular in midwest, like Chicago.

I have never had to give out my personal info in the 4 yrs I have been hobbying.  Guess I just have a trusting look about me.  But I am a DC and P411 member, if needed.  Once you are on there, providers that you see can give you references, sorta like the whitelist on TER.  That helps for future encounters with providers.

Swim

Especially if they feel their toes are being stepped on. I am a bit of a computer nerd and have many screening programs that I use. I love the verification sites. I can get someone verified with a click of a mouse.
My point in all this, is yes there are providers that have other ways to screen you beyond provider references.
The employment screening may scare you, but it's not like we call up and identify ourselves as providers. I act like I'm calling from a bank, or just simply will ask to be transferred to your voicemail, then leave you a professionally sounding message. It's just to make sure your voice matches up.

In this informational era, even with just a first and last name I can find out your whole life story. This hobby has it's downsides, but just know who you are seeing before you see them.

Thanks for the responses folks.
As for the Date Check services, my problem is giving out employment info.
I own a very small biz and my spouse answers the phones, there are no voice mails, so someone calling to verify employment would generate questions back to me.

The last provider I saw about 4 yrs ago (who I can't seem to find now, perhaps moved away) didn't ask me anything, said she could tell by the phone call I was ok, and it all turned out fine. Interestingly, after our meeting as we talked a little bit she said she doesn't think a guy should ever give out personal or work info and she said to even use a fake name. She was an established provider with web site and reviews.

Guess I'll just have to see how it goes.