Planning to schedule my first over night with my ATF in NYC
Have some thoughts rolling over in my head and would appreciate your comments.
1.Is there a nice hotel that takes cash rather then credit cards?
Don't want to leave a trail. If not is it weird to ask my lady to handle it and I will pay her back?
2. Once we get settled in our room I am sure we both have certain things that is only our business and not the others. When sleepy time comes(if it comes) I would be uncomfortable having that availble if I am sleeping and I would expect she would be uncomfotable having her stuff available when she dozes. Any ideas how to remove this anxiety?
3. During our scheduled time together do you usually agree in advance to the frequency and types of activities that you will partipate in together?
Are there any standards of activities and frequency for a set number of hours
Is there anything I should offer  or do  during our meeting  or bring to our meeting, other then the expected, to give her comfort for our time together and to aid in us both having a great time together
Looking forward to make the event memorable!

The best way to answer this is by asking her. She will appreciate that your trying to make the experience as comfortble has possible for both of you. Usually *atleast in my case* someone wont do an overnight unless its with someone they will be comfortable with. If shes your ATF,and im sure she knows she is, then you two should have a good enough vibe where you can somewhat go with the flow and enjoy it!

Some easy answers some not:

1) EVERY hotel takes cash.  Post the deposit on a credit card but pay cash at check out.  If you don't even want to do that they will require a sizable cash deposit when you check in to cover incidentals.
2) I wouldn't worry too much about this, you are spending a night with a provider, presumably someone you've seen before and trust somewhat.  If you are really concerned about your stuff throw it in the room safe.  Hate to be crass but unless this is her first overnight, she's solved her own problem so don't lose sleep over it.
3) I'd review this with her, typically there is a general idea of how much "outside" time will take place.  I'd think a little adventure right off the bat, then dinner, then another 1-2 hours before sleep, then maybe once again in the morning.

First of all, since she is your ATF you can safely discuss certain things that pertain to in the bedroom activities.

Usually, your regular sessions should give you pretty good indication of what to expect. However, some things are better clarified in advance.

Hotel. Does she live in nyc or flying in?
Did she ask for deposit? You can definately ask her to book the room and either add cost to her fee or settle bill in cash upon checkout.

None of anybody"s biz stuff. Unless u book two rooms, u will just have to reach that new comfort level with each other

I would also recommend discussing ahead of time what out of bedroom activities u plan to engage in. Once again, if you prefer not to leave paper trail you may want to ask her to make reservations and or obtain tickets to shows etc.

Hope this helps!

Lina

1. I'm not familiar with NYC hotels, but most hotels will take cash. If in doubt, call and ask. It's not at all a weird request to have the lady to get the room, though she might like to have the money up front. Whether or not YOU are comfortable with that arrangement is your call, but presumably as your ATF she is someone you trust not to rip you off.

2. Again, presumably this is someone you trust otherwise not to be shady, and if she's considering spending a significant amount of time with you, some of it possibly dozing in your arms, she feels you're the reputable sort as well. If there's anything you absolutely can't bear the thought of her touching or seeing, leave it at home if you possibly can.

3. Speaking of "if sleepy time comes", discuss sleep expectations beforehand, and if it's okay for one person to wake another if s/he gets frisky. I try to mention to my overnight/extended dates that I need [x] hours of *uninterrupted* sleep a night, or I will be Crankypants Hillcrest in the morning. As far as the enjoyable private activities, I try not to set a schedule for those and let things come as they please. So to speak. I *do* like to establish when and where we'll be eating, and if we'll be going out otherwise, however.

As far as what else you can do to make the time together more pleasant, simply ask if there's anything she'd like you to bring to eat or drink or do. I've done everything from the traditional dinner and movie out to room service with a bubble bath on overnights. It's your time together; have fun with it.

1. Any hotel will take cash to settle your bill.  They are still going to take an imprint of your credit card when you check in as a guarantee against incidental charges.  Simply settle upi with cash when you check out.

2. Trust is important here.  Small valuables can be kept in a safe but honestly, if you know this lady and she knows you the honor system should be enough.

3.Yes, the amount of play time, meals, down time and sleep time should all be agreed to ahead of time. Also, you should let the gal know that you will be happy to give her some alone time if and when she needs it.

Have fun!

Thank you all. I have confidence now when I ask her out.
Regarding credit cards.It seems to me When they make the impression it becomes a record even though you pay cash at the end....

When they take a CC imprint it does go into your computerized folio as part of the record of your stay. No charges will be applied to it and it should not be an issue. If you are worried about this you may be able to arrange to leave a cash deposit with the desk when you check in instead of the CC.  I've never tried this but it may work.

One problem you can't get around is the fact that you can not make a reservation at a hotel without a credit card.  Unless you plan on walking in the front door and hoping that the nice hotel you are interested in has a vacancy you are going to have to give them a CC number on the phone or on line.

Of course, the option of asking the lady to make the reservation is always a possibility.