- You'll be able to choose a provider who you know for sure will give you a full hour of good service.
- You will both have checked each other out beforehand, so there will be no need to show you aren't a cop, no suspicious feeling-out process to get through.
- Having read accounts of how her sessions have proceeded, you will know what activities you can do with her and when. Unlike AMPs, most escorts are fine with the client choosing what happens (within her boundaries, of course) during the session time.
BTW, as your homework will tell you, the customary way to put a provider at ease is to place the donation on a counter top immediately upon entering her room--DO NOT hand it to her--and take off all your clothes. Also, with VIP, reviews will tell you whether an escort looks like her pics. Many don't, but those with good reviews usually do.
-- Modified on 5/15/2011 10:35:44 AM
-- Modified on 5/15/2011 10:46:03 AM
In my defense, I thought I had. As with any hobby, it seems like no matter how much you read, there are still things you don't know, but there was a lot I didn't know. Unfortunately, the nature of this hobby is you can almost never meet someone on this side of the fence and go with them to learn. As a hobbyist (or as it stands now, a scam victim), the only people I'll ever see with this activity is a provider.
I'll try again in a month or so having gotten the VIP membership. Hopefully I'll know a lot more then.
Appreciate the honesty and directness. Any other advice you can give is welcome.
So being something of a newbie, I tried to pick a provider that seemed to have decent referrals. However, I got really spooked and I don't know if I'm just being paranoid. Here's what happened (sorry for the verbose story, but I don't want to exclude any detail which might be relevant):
I call the number listed on the site, and a female voice answers the phone. I ask to talk to "Heather" (not the provider's name obviously). The voice asks me my name and phone number so that Heather will call me back. I give it. Heather calls. We set up a time and a place, an apartment complex not too far away. They tell me to call when I get there to tell me the apartment number.
I shower, shave, etc so that I meet the basic physical requirements of a good client. I leave with enough time in case there's traffic.
I get there, and call again to get the apartment number. After than I go up to appt. Heather opens the door. She doesn't look quite as nice as the picture, but do they ever? I'm invited in, and hand her an envelope. She asks me for something with my name on it, so I give her a DL. I ask to use the bathroom while she makes a call, she says to her bosses or something to make sure they know I'm here. I finish using the bathroom, and I come back out, where she thanks me for the envelope, and has me initial a receipt. So far, everything seems ok, though I'm extremely nervous, it being my first time and all.
She invites me to sit on the sofa, which I do. But this where things get squirrely. I tell her I'm really nervous and admit that it's my first time. She then asks me what I would like to do and that the session is led by me. This is the first "wtf?" feeling I get. I've been to AMP's and when I was new to those, they told me what to do. For her to be asking me seems unusual, but not implausible.
So I try to ease into it. I ask for a massage. She says she can't because she's not licensed to, which is also plausible. Now I'm in a bind because how do I establish physical contact that goes beyond just friendly day to day interaction?
I then mention moving to the bedroom. And she's like "what? why? what do you have in mind? are you tired or something?" and thinking this is still on me, I'm sort of kicking myself because I think I've done something wrong in terms of how to go about getting down to business. But I'm still stuck, I mean, wtf? And I freeze for about 60 seconds or so. When I finally speak, I decide to back off a little and just chat, ask her how long she's been an escort, how old is she, and other things you can't go to prison for asking.
But this is a harbinger of things to come. We eventually swing back around to issues regarding business but only indirectly. And then we back off again, only to return to the topic again. Most disturbingly though, she's intent on trying to get me to ask for "extras" and acts like she doesn't know what I'm talking about when I indirectly mention them.
There are also these two closed doors. She says one has the washing machine and dryer, and the other is the bedroom. Now, since this is Inc, I thought the bedroom is where the main event is supposed to take place.
Anyways, long story short: we never did get down to business as she and the entire thing was setting off my bullshit detector. I'm also not in prison (coincidence?)
I guess my questions are this:
1. In the early stages, what is/are the best ways to show I'm not a cop? (ie. she might've been squirrely because she thought I was a cop)
2. Where did I mess up?
3. Was I wrong to be suspicious regarding her shock about my alluding to extras?
Whatever feedback you all can give is welcome.
Fortunately for me, I had a better "coach" for my first very nervous indy GFE encounter who helped to get things going in the intended direction. I don't know what I'd have done in your situation. Maybe, "You're so beautiful (or sexy), I'd really like to kiss you." "... hug you." "... make love to you."
"... massage. She says she can't because she's not licensed." "Don't worry! I'm not a cop and I won't turn you in! Start rubbing!"
What do her TER reviews say about her? Where was this and was there anything in the local news about LE crackdowns at that time? That makes everybody extra nervous and cautious.
I am glad to say that I have no first hand experience, but my understanding is that real LE don't wait. Once you're in the room, you are on the floor with several hundred pounds of cops holding you down while they make sure you're unarmed. The appointment (wiretapped), the envelope, etc. is all they need. They don't need any touching or explicit words.
"1. In the early stages, what is/are the best ways to show I'm not a cop? (ie. she might've been squirrely because she thought I was a cop)" How about, "Do you mind if I take a shower?"; return in towel; drop towel.
"2. Where did I mess up?" Was she well reviewed? Did you ask on your local board for advice on "newbie friendly" gals?
"3. Was I wrong to be suspicious regarding her shock about my alluding to extras?" Hard to say without other cues: tone of voice (sarcasm?), body language, etc..
Sorry to say it, but maybe you were just ripped off.
otherwise you would know how a typical appointment proceeds. I will attempt to answer your questions.
1. "In the early stages, what is/are the best ways to show I'm not a cop?" You need to read through several pages of this board and the legal board. You will find that, in general, there is no good "LE test". The best way for you to find a provider that is not likely to be LE is to do your research and pick a provider that has several good reviews, by reviewers who have written several reviews. The best way for the provider to be confident that you are not LE is for her to properly screen you before the meeting.
2. "Where did I mess up?" Where do I start? The most obvious question is that you have omitted the details about what you mean by, "seemed to have decent referrals". Where did you get these referrals? How much did you spend on this provider? Certainly more than the investment in 1 or 3 months of VIP membership to read how other guys meetings went with her. I hate to sound like a broken record, but it very difficult for a newbie to get his feet wet in this business without getting scammed, if he does not have access to the full reviews.
3. "Was I wrong to be suspicious regarding her shock about my alluding to extras?" This is called "up-selling", and this should never happen to you if you are familiar with a provider's tactics prior to making an appointment. Most reputable providers have a set fee for their basic appointment, and will only charge extra for specific services that are usually clear from her or her agency's website. For instance, a provider may have one rate for massage and a higher rate for full service. A full service provider may have an extra charge from her basic rate for greek or certain fetishes. You need to know this going into an appointment, not after you get there.
Honestly If you feel like the provider never looks as good as the picture then I suggest looking at other sites for providers.
I Know of a lot of providers that look even better in AZ.
xoxoxo
Stay Safe
-- Modified on 5/15/2011 1:02:56 AM
Very good suggestion Krista - one can search for reviews of the provider, the phone number, etc. and often get a much wider variety of information including different photos (assuming they have not all been ripped off the internet). Awesome tats Krista, very artistic!
For the cost of 1 month's VIP you could have avoided this. A well reviewed provider does not scam.
Start over. Read the self help section (link by the life ring). Then read back on this board until you can answer every question yourself.
Here's the Quiz:
well reviewed...
2 call system...
hobby phone...
private email (hint: separate from your regular email)...
what to discuss prior to meeting...
what not to say prior to meeting...
how to arrive/exit her location...
Read the self-help section, and pay $20 for VIP to read TER's reviews. Here's the difference it will make:
- You'll be able to choose a provider who you know for sure will give you a full hour of good service.
- You will both have checked each other out beforehand, so there will be no need to show you aren't a cop, no suspicious feeling-out process to get through.
- Having read accounts of how her sessions have proceeded, you will know what activities you can do with her and when. Unlike AMPs, most escorts are fine with the client choosing what happens (within her boundaries, of course) during the session time.
BTW, as your homework will tell you, the customary way to put a provider at ease is to place the donation on a counter top immediately upon entering her room--DO NOT hand it to her--and take off all your clothes. Also, with VIP, reviews will tell you whether an escort looks like her pics. Many don't, but those with good reviews usually do.
-- Modified on 5/15/2011 10:35:44 AM
-- Modified on 5/15/2011 10:46:03 AM
- You'll be able to choose a provider who you know for sure will give you a full hour of good service.
- You will both have checked each other out beforehand, so there will be no need to show you aren't a cop, no suspicious feeling-out process to get through.
- Having read accounts of how her sessions have proceeded, you will know what activities you can do with her and when. Unlike AMPs, most escorts are fine with the client choosing what happens (within her boundaries, of course) during the session time.
BTW, as your homework will tell you, the customary way to put a provider at ease is to place the donation on a counter top immediately upon entering her room--DO NOT hand it to her--and take off all your clothes. Also, with VIP, reviews will tell you whether an escort looks like her pics. Many don't, but those with good reviews usually do.
-- Modified on 5/15/2011 10:35:44 AM
-- Modified on 5/15/2011 10:46:03 AM
In my defense, I thought I had. As with any hobby, it seems like no matter how much you read, there are still things you don't know, but there was a lot I didn't know. Unfortunately, the nature of this hobby is you can almost never meet someone on this side of the fence and go with them to learn. As a hobbyist (or as it stands now, a scam victim), the only people I'll ever see with this activity is a provider.
I'll try again in a month or so having gotten the VIP membership. Hopefully I'll know a lot more then.
Appreciate the honesty and directness. Any other advice you can give is welcome.
Check out a local M & G (Meet and Greet) and there you can meet other hobbyists and providers in a setting that is quite leisurely.
Also don't be afraid to contact hobbyists via PM (you will need VIP to do so) and you can chat more freely with someone. And perhaps you can get brave enough to meet with some local guys for drinks to discuss the hobby. I can tell you that I have met with quite a few guys and find the experiences that we can share is very helpful in keeping us focused on the ladies, as well as ourselves.
All of this will take some time, and effort. Like any hobby, the more you practice the better you will become at it.
Good tip Mr. Right!
Do not hand her the donation. Place it on a table, dresser, or bathroom vanity. Do not mention it or watch it... give her an opportunity to pick it up & check it for correctness if she so chooses. If she has specific directions for the donation (on her profile, ad or website), follow them... if not these general rules will do.
Choose well reviewed ladies... no need to discuss... you read her reviews & know & accept her menu... you both know why you're there.
If you deviate from her normal expectations, she might in fact get freaky, think you might be LE or possibly not to be trusted. The hobby is all about trust. It is asking a lot to trust a stranger...
If she has good reviews and youre certain she is legit based on those reviews the burden of proof is now on you. You have to prove your safe and not a cop and she will stone wall until youre out the door if you dont. I would not call this a rip off situation at all. He paid for her time. He was lacking in experience and was like a deer in the headlights when she didnt maul him as he walked through the door. He had no clue how to proceed. If he had his wits about him in the moment he would have realized that it's his turn to step up to the plate and make the first move to ease her mind so the fun will surely follow.
I would think that this was the most " odd " encounter she has had in a while.
Sorry but I think you lack any confidence or " game ".
You passed her " comfort " test otherwise you would have never made it to the couch.
She asked you what you liked and wanted and then said YOU are in charge !
Dude you paid her................Bend her over the damn kitchen table and be a man !
My 2 cents worth.
That sounds like it was an akward meeting but now im worried as im new and have no reviews so how am I supposed to get reviews if people only see the ladies regularly reviewed by serial reviewers LOL... sounds like a tricky circle to me. I always think it's tha ladies place to make her gent feel at easde and if you looked like a rabbit in headlights then thats her green light to help you out... but as im new to this site maybe the other gents are right and had you paid to see reviews then this might not have happened as you would have had some trusted info to go on but AGAIN that said I have no reviews so HMMMMMMM what to do??? Good luck next time honey and don't let it put you off there are loads of gorgeous (better than pics and real pics at that) and laid back ladies that love what they do and would have sussed that situation out in an instance and saved any nervousness that you might have had. If at first you don't succeed and all that
Better luck next time, Casey 
xx
-- Modified on 5/18/2011 6:19:29 PM