The general advice there was that I need to relax and just get out there and fuck and not overthink the process, lest I ruin the precious alone time with the lady.
Anyway, I still haven't scored with a provider. My first choice (100+) reviews has mysteriously disappeared - she has not posted her weekly ads for 2 weeks now after doing so for many, many weeks on my regional board. She might be on vacation, but her calendar on her website has not been updated. Also, she did not respond to my very politely phrased and complimentary e-mail.
One wise poster suggested I seek a backup...
My second choice did respond to my e-mail, but she did not respond to my 2nd e-mail after I told her I am a total newbie with no references. She probably freaked at that, but did not extend me the courtesy of a "sorry buddy" response, so I'm not sure what to think.
Like one of you said - it's the holiday season and times are busy for everyone, so who knows what's really going on.
I had a really rough week at work this week so I haven't given too much careful thought on what I'm going to do next. Most likely I will join date-check. I wonder if providers will see me then after I get date-check verified, or if they still want provider references on top of that.
Compounded with all of this, is that I'm kind of picky with which providers I like to see (at least for my first few experiences). I am willing to pay a significant premium for the right girl if that's what it takes to have a memorable consummation of hobbyist status.
Sorry to hear you're "coming up empty"...I know its frustrating when you think you've done all the right things and get no responses. Quite a few providers don't regularly update their web schedules and this is a tough time of year as some providers take off due to the holidays. Did you try checking the regional boards? They will give you a good idea of who is currently or soon to be in your area and I've found those girls typically respond very quickly. From your previous post I understand your privacy concerns, while I might not share them , I understand. With no references you will likely have to give up more info than you want to(work number, employer, etc...) but it gets easier each time. My suggestions:
-Use the regional boards -Be as specific about time/place/date as you can in your first message and don't go over the top about what you want in the first message ("Saw you on TER/Backpage/Eros, etc...and would like to set up a 90 minute appointment for early evening on Thursday") -Allow at least a few days advance notice -Line up a few potentials but only contact one at a time to avoid double booking
scheduling a multi-hour (2 or 3 hrs.) so that you are not rushed and you have time to relax. MSOG are more frequent when the date is for longer than 1 hour (also depends on your age, health, etc.).
When starting, I quickly found that I needed an hour or preferably 1.5-2 hours. This really helped the process. I would suggest that to score your first hit, you should shop your local regional board & find someone that might not be your ideal... but still in the very good catagory. You're scheduling play time, not a LTR. I'm always nervious on a first date... but less so if I haven't built her up with "my number one choice". skb
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