I am extremely new to the hobby and recently was in the process of setting up my first session with my first provider.  We had some great conversation and really hit it off on email and phone.  However.......I am big guy(overweight) and felt that I should let the provider know ahead of time, just to avoid any awkward surprises when we meet.  At that point her attitude changed and she in so many words told me she would not work with me.

Now, I may be overweight but I'm still a good looking guy with all of the good characteristics providers desire in a client, respectful, personable, generous, great attitude, etc.  Is it typical for provider's to have high standards for their client's physical attributes?  I am willing to try other provider's but I want to make sure I'm not wasting either one of our's time.  Thanks

Sorry that happened to you. However because this business is so intimate there will always be someone with some facet that they can't deal with. It has been said many times that we women should see whomever has the cash. All well and good but would you rather see someone who wants to be with you or someone who is disgusted and shows it?

Hey I like my bigger guys. There are plenty of reasons why I won't see guys but size is not one of them. Good luck to you and you might want keep letting the ladies know beforehand so as not to waste your time and money.

that sucks dude =\.


i think it varies from person to person.. some care some don't.  i like to let people know something about me beforehand so it won't get awkward (ethnicity/height/age, my weight is not too much of a problem).  i'd say... let them know beforehand and if they have an issue with it, you don't want to meet them anyways... right?  ; )

I'm a big guy myself and I have had some not so great dates because of it. On the other hand I've also had some amazing times as well. I don't tell ladies ahead of time what they are getting into, I guess it's not a bad idea but I just never have. If I see a gal and there is no chemistry I assume it's at least partly the weight issue and just don't rebook. Who knows, maybe those particular ladies wouldn't see me again if I tried. The funny thing is, the gals I hit it off with and repeat with are all very petite ladies.
I happen to like short petite girls so it works out well for both sides.

I agree that it's not realistic to assume that any good lady should be happy to see any guy just because he is paying. This is a hobby that involves the ultimate act of intimacy and sometimes there are going to be issues.

Keep looking, you will find plenty of ladies that are not bothered by your size.

I agree with the previous posters in that there are bound to be ladies that may have restrictions on age, weight, etc. but I think you will find many that  don't.  I have not disclosed my weight  to the providers I have contacted, but maybe I should have in retrospect.  I'm 5'11", 215 lbs. by the way.  I would say keep looking and  I think you will find plenty of ladies who will see you. And, I agree that it might be a good idea to disclose your size to them ahead of time, to save some time for each of you.

Runningman

Nicely put...

Good advice from bostonguy and others! I am big as well - tall but I do try to work out to keep the weight down - overall - I don't say anything! You might not get all the positions you you want - but most ladies that I run into are awesome and I was fearful at first - what if they say....! But they say nothing - they make you feel special! Some may be picky - but you never know until you get there and think of the images she many have. The end result - it will work itself out somehow and enjoy - don't fret! I always did and it create mental blocks that I didn't need at the time - so let go and let the experience happen! It will either be great - or a learning experience you can think about next time!  Cyclist out!

Its a damn shame man.  If she had an issue with your weight then she is not the provider for you.  I can only image what you are going thru, but I know alot of the ladies out there aren't like that. I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Just keep partying brother.

They are people, and different things bother different people, but most of the ladies (all that I have seen) just don't have any problem with overweight guys.  I'm big myself, and I have never felt it to be an issue during a session.
Probably not a bad idea to let her know at some point before you meet, sometimes I will include it in a more general description of myself in one of the early e-mails.  After all, if she has a problem with any aspect of "me" including my weight, I don't want to waste her time or my cash on a session that neither of us is likely to enjoy.

I am really sorry that you experienced that. While it is true that every person has there own preferences, we must remember that everyone also has feelings. I think she could have declined without being crass or hurtful.

I do agree with others that have said it is better for you to find out now than waste your money for a lackluster encounter.I am sure there are plenty of women that would love to enjoy your company, so don't feel bad about yourself. There are lots of us that still enjoy our teddy bears.

(link changed by the moderator.  Cori, PM me if you need help setting up a link to TER on your site,  jazz32)

-- Modified on 9/14/2007 12:19:49 PM

Hey Century...nice to see another avid cyclist in these here parts... Have you done a century yet? Did one the other weekend and had a blast.

Thanks for the feedack!

I'm in the same situation as you.  I was planning to be upfront about it, but I do realize that some providers do care and others don't.  I have noticed only on a couple of websites where it specifically mentions weight issues and I just move on.  I'm sure in all of Chicago I have many options without any issues.  When I go to the strip club I generally have to beat the dancers off with a stick and the couple that I see regularly really don't seem to mind.