I have only been in the hobby for a couple of months and have had only 3 dates.  I am not a 1-hour guy, and book 2-4 hours to allow for time for me to get comfortable with the provider and develop some type of "connection".  I have really enjoyed all my dates.  I am in my mid-50's and am in good shape. No problems with getting and maintaining an erection, but I have yet to ejaculate on any of my dates.  This is likely due to condom use, but I have never been able to finish with any woman in my life outside of the standard mish position.  During my dates, I never make a big deal of it.  It is not really that important to me-I like the trip much more than the destination-maybe that's my problem.  My question for the providers-are you upset if one of your clients can't finish even though it is not a big deal to him?  I find myself thinking about not making any more dates because I'm worried that the providers may think that I did not enjoy my experience with them. Am I overthinking this, and the girls really don't care so long as you don't jackhammer them for 4 hours trying to finish?  I would appreciate any thoughts on my problem.

The Erotic Highway board to your left has some great threads on this matter.

Personally I find it interesting and would take up several different approaches to see if we could get past the condom issue (Skyn with a little lube inside, the female condom, warming lotions, relaxation and breathing practices, etc.)  It's possible that  you will find a position or combination of approaches that will get past the matter.  

In the meantime, you might try masturbating with a condom on to get your body used to equating pleasure and latex.

My job is NOT to get you off, it is to enjoy a memorable encounter with you.  As long as you are happy, I am happy.  
: )

Speaking as a guy who has had this happen once or twice I would say don't let it bother you.  I have been seeing my ATF about twice a month for three years and there have been a couple of occasions where I did not finish as well as a few where I have basicly had to take matters into my own hands at the end.

The first time it happened she was disappointed as she loves to see me happy. I also think she may have been worried that I was getting board with her. This was certainly not the case and I made sure she understood that two hours with her could never be a disappointment no matter how it ended.

It happens sometimes, especially with older guys. To be honest I almost never finish inside a woman so if that's what you are holding out for maybe you should explore other options.  The condom is a problem for me as well but a nice BBBJ is a great way to climax a session!

As long as you are happy then I am happy. My goal is to put a smile on your face...

This is something that sometimes happens with age.  You are certainly not the first man this has happened to. I do appreciate your understanding not expecting to "jackhammer" us for hours.

-- Modified on 8/1/2009 4:54:50 PM

Well, first off, I won't lie - yes it can be frustrating at times if a man either can't cum, or if it takes a long time for the big event to happen. The frustration isn't really about feeling like I'm being pounded too long, or having to work at it too hard. My thoughts on it generally tend to be an awareness of how frustrating that has to be for the guy. It IS important to me to make sure that he has a great time, and for most men that means doing at least one, if not more than one, imitation of Old Faithful. When that doesn't happen, I just feel bad about it.

For what its worth though, its more common than you might imagine. At least once or twice a month I see someone and despite our best efforts, it just doesn't happen. I did take it personally at first. After I had a few dates who couldn't orgasm, I started to wonder if I was about to be demoted from Sexual Goddess to Sexual Dodo. Then I got over it.

Here are a few suggestions. First off, try using a female condom. One gent I know had your problem. He simply could not cum with a condom, and he could not cum from oral or hand stimulation. We experimented with a femal condom and WOW did it work! This might be a solution for your problem. Also, talk to her. Once you are both comfortable, its ok to let her know that you might not be able to cum, but you still enjoy the journey. Then if it happens it happens, and if it doesn't, she knows its not for lack of effort on her part.

At any rate though, don't worry about hurting her feelings. You aren't the first man who was unable to cum, and you won't be the last. We ladies know that, and what matters most is that you leave with a smile on your face and a spring in your step. Ler her know she accomplished that, and all will be well.

Increase the amount of foreplay before starting sex acts. I have found that kissing and exploring the wonderful parts of the female anatomy before moving on to sex acts gets me so searing hot that an ejaculation within 10 minutes is a forethought. I have found that women that I am with are comfortable with 10 minutes or less of penetration, so I spend plenty of time kissing, touching and doing oral before penetration. When penetration happens, it is comfortable and pleasing to me and the lady.

Personally, it is not a big deal to me as long as my client is happy with my services. I only see older men so this is not an uncommon issue. The goal is to relax and have a great time!

we just want you to feel happy with the over all experience. we are happy if your happy hun

Thanks to all for the good advice and good recommendations.  I'm happy to see that the girls understand the problem and are happy to help.  Now I don't think I'll be giving up the hobby anytime soon.

I agree with Sola, sweetie.  No big deal.  The condom thing seems to be rampant and it doesn't matter how old, how horny, how good or bad or just plain much you fuck.  Sometimes, it doesn't wanna work with the cover on.  And again, no big deal.

For me, I want you to have a good time.  If that means you don't cum but you feel making me cum was that good time, awesome.  I've been doing this a month, I'm still in the giddy OMGAMIDOINGTHISRIGHT!?!?! stage, but I gotta say, I think and hope I've left no client unsatisfied and that was whether they had completion or not.

Keep trying, baby.  Just cause it doesn't work doesn't mean it's ALWAYS not gonna work.  Try it with us providers, try it with your FB (if you have one), try it solo with the cover on and see.  It's no reflection on you either way.

You're awesome Sascha.  With an attitude like that, you will go far.  Do you have a website?

I have tried to read through everyone's responses, and I do not think anyone mentioned how one's medication or consumption of alcohol may affect both erection and ejaculation.  It is well documented that alcohol, even just one drink, can have an effect on both the vascular and nervous systems, which both come into play with sexual stimulation and intercourse. I have also had gentlemen that once they changed their blood pressure medication to a different brand, found they were able to sustain their erections and ejaculate.  There are also documented studies that as men "mature" (I like that word better!!), it may take up to 45 minutes of intercourse, from start to finish, to achieve full ejaculation. So allow yourself more time.

So there are a myriad of reasons, and we providers, not only are patient, understanding and very open-minded.

Okay, enough of my brain-iac banter for the day!!

Alex

Aw, thanks hon, I appreciate that.

Sure do, linked below.

Good luck with it, I hope you're able to work it out (literally, heh).  You let me know if you need a "hand".  

I am having the same problem of not being able to cum. I am going to be seeing my Dr soon and plan on asking him for the "little blue pill" to solve this problem. I am an older gentleman and being able to cum inside my partner has alwasys been important to me. After reading some of the responses it may be that the condom is causing the problem but I'm not willing to wait to see if that is the issue. JMO.