Hello-

I had a couple basic questions relevant to providing, but wasn't sure where to ask them. This site is mostly for hobbyists, and only reviewed providers may post in the provider forum... hopefully the FAQ is an acceptable place to post this.

I've never done anything like this, but I'm contemplating entering a "mutually beneficial relationship" with one particular man. So I'm not exactly "pro" and don't plan to be, and the gentleman in question isn't really a "hobbyist" per se... he's just looking for a person with whom he can have guaranteed companionship once in a while, without the commitment and time expectations of a romantic relationship. So this may not be a "typical" provider scenario, but I suspect the community here will have pertinent insights on my questions.

Specifically:

1) How important is it to avoid revealing your real name, whether for legal reasons, career reasons, social reasons, etc? (I am a graduating college senior; the gentleman is a PhD student.) Do most providers use an assumed name? If so, how tightly do they guard their real name? Should I indicate that I'm using a nickname, or should I pretend that it is my real name?

2) Would there be difficulties if I received donations via PayPal rather than via cash in an envelope? I would like to keep this feeling as "natural" as possible (as though we were merely FWBs) and PayPal would facilitate this. However, I'm worried that it may raise suspicion from some entity or other if I'm transferring a lot of money from a PayPal account into my linked bank account. None of my family or friends have access to this bank account, so I'm not worried about *that*... I'm just wondering if there is any legal or tax situation in which I'd have to explain where these PayPal transfers are coming from?

3)What is a reasonable donation to ask? Given the more personal, non-pro nature of this arrangement, this probably wouldn't be an hourly rate. More likely, I would ask some fixed amount per encounter (regardless of how much time is spent), or perhaps eventually even just a fixed monthly stipend with encounters taking place whenever we both have time.

If you need some basis for comparison, this is probably comparable to a GFE with FS and BBBJTC, with zero providing experience. Not sure if the exclusivity has an equivalent among professional escorts. Physically speaking, I'm 21, asian, 5'5", 122 lbs, 34D, with a "swimsuit model" body.

We haven't discussed business yet, so I have no idea what he can afford or has in mind. I am perfectly willing to walk away from a sub-par deal, though, so the ball is in my court. I may not ultimately choose to negotiate tough, but I would like to know what's a good ballpark to aim for. I am located in a small city in central NY (pop 30,000).

Thanks in advance for any advice!

1. It sounds to me like the fellow in question already knows your real name. Creating a fake name now is pointless unless you plan on seeing other gentlemen as well.  I would be extremely cautious about how much more of your real-world information you give him.  

2.You can do the paypal thing. I did it with a gal I see out of state for a while but she had a legit business where she sold things on line so the PP account did not arouse suspicion with anyone.  Keep in mind that using PP creates a paper trail and a paper trail is never a good idea when you are involved in illegal activity.

3.I would advise you to check what providers in your area are getting per hour and take it from there. I would also suggest that you not be quite so ambivalent about how much for how long or how often.  Any P4P relationship needs boundaries and the money is the biggest one.  Over time resentment will develop with either or both parties if one starts to feel that they are being taken advantage of by the other.  The best way to avoid this is to be clear about what is being purchased and how often.

Good luck and stay safe.  Never let anyone talk you into something that goes outside of your comfort zone.

The Newbie board is the right place to ask these questions.  Ladies & Gents can respond here.  I can see the reasons & advantages for both of you.

The relationship you describe is on the vein of a "Sugar Daddy" style relationship...  but not quite.  I'm sure others will chime in with better descriptor which you should use the search feature to research more.

Most providers have to continually screen new clients for proper behavior, payment in full,  no Law Enforcement affiliation.  Only general screening techniques would be discussed on a public forum, but hopefully will not be applicable to your endeavors.  

Most providers do use an "stage name" and it is their calling card & reputation for providing quality service.  As a store front business would value "Good Will" on their balance sheet.  

You might choose to use your real first name for convenience sake, or a nick name but not reveal your last name.  In general, providers do not use their homes.  You should guard your real idenity & including face pictures.  Fast forward in your mind, that there will be a life after this situation...  You need to control where it goes.    

You should not leave a paper trail.  Forget PayPal.  Cash does not bounce.  With trusted Favorites, I leave the donation in plain sight after the action while dressing.  In the moving about of dressing & bathroom trips it silently disappears, without comment.  It does not spoil the mood for me.

If the payments are significant you certainly will need to pay taxes on them.  Personal assistant, personal trainer, entertainer, event organizer.  They didn't get Al Capone for MURDER, they got him for Tax Evasion.  You do not have to explain the income beyond that.  You need to read back on the legal board about taxes.  

The bare minimum is $200 an hour for the services you describe... more creaping up to 250 these days & upscale providers are more.  A lot of meetings are single hours.  A more relaxed 2 hour meeting would be $4-500.  After a couple of hours there are discounts to the rates but overnights are pretty large numbers.  I'm sure he's going to try to blur he line.  (Hey, He's a guy, I'm a guy.)  In all likelihood, this deal will not be forever.  You need to have a savings plan for "life after".

You need to stay on a cash basis, pay for play, otherwise one or the other will become unhappy & the deal will be off.  Unless he's going to provide you with full support.  aka Sugar Daddy.  Even those deals sour over time.  

You may need a cover story... agreed on in advance...  as his out of town GF or something if you meet at his place & some friend of his shows up.  Be prepared to not reveal too much about yourself.

Be prepared emotionally.  You & your prospect will be walking an emotional tight rope.  It's totally natural for a guy to fall for a lady he has great sex with repeatedly.  You and he will have to agree on the boundaries.  It will happen anyway, if the posts on this site are any indication.  You will have to exert control to keep it in bounds.

Is this going to be a tested & safe exclusive relationship or will protection be used.  You need to know & be sure.

One last thing...  I made a mistake when I was about your age.  The circumstances were slightly different but suffice it to say I tied myself up when others my age were forming couples.  Are you still going to continue a social life?  If so, if you meet someone, you need the ability to opt out of this deal.

Whew!  I'm out of ideas...
Best Wishes,
skb

I think you will get quite a variety of answers, but that is a good thing, as it will allow you to evaluate the information.  You seem like a very intelligent person.

1.  Keeping your true identity is prefered, but whether or not this can be maintained has a lot to do with how close you and your prospective client become.  From experience, I often learn the true identity of gals I have seen; sometimes on the first date, and other times years afterwards.  I always keep that information confidential, of course.  I can't say that I have heard of too many horror stories from this information being leaked.  Be very careful about innocent ways that your identity can become known.  For example:  If you meet the person at your home, he can learn your identity as easily as seeing a piece of mail sitting in the lobby.  

2.  At least initially, keep things on a cash basis per visit.  In time, if your meetings become regular, you can make other arrangements.  This would be a so-called "sugar daddy" arrangement where a monthly set fee is set up for a certain (thought not strictly regulated) amount of time.  A typical example might be $2,000 per month for a weekly tryst of 3-4 hours.  On a per hour basis, this is quite low; but given the volume and the fact you need to do no marketing to achieve this, it is not as unreasonable as it sounds.  (Many escorts figure that they spend 2-3 hours in marketing themselves for each billable hour.  This does not even take into account the considerable expense of ads on sites like EROS.)  One efficient way to collect payment is through Green Dot cards.  He buys a card and loads it with a sum of money, then sends you the code number on the card thus allowing you to deposit that sum into your bank (or collect the cash at a Green Dot vendor store.)  There is very little paper trail from this as opposed to Paypal, which is also quite expensive.  (Green Dot is just $5 up to $500.)  As for taxes, the money you receive is income.  For your own legal protection and also for the benefit of taxpayers everywhere (Of which I am one.) please report and pay income tax on this money.  Remember:  prostitution is a misdemeanor, tax evasion is a serious felony (and an expensive one, too.)

(still not a lawyer)

3. A young Asian provider offering the services that you suggest can easily ask for $400-500 per hour.  If the person you plan to have a relationship with is asking for a multi-hour weekly arrangement, then something along the lines of $2,000 per month or so seems right, but if it is just a monthly arrangement for 2-3 hours then around $300/hr seems right, or $600-900 per session.  Attractive FS Asian providers I see in the Boston area charge around that rate.  On the other hand, if you want to move in together full time (not recommending this mind you, this is only an academic exercise) then something around $10,000 per month would seem reasonable.  Those are the two extremes.  What you finally decide between you will be based on many factors and expectations too numerous to go into here.

I hope you find this useful.  Sorry to be so verbose.

Best of luck to you in this endeavor.

Wow, thanks everyone for the thoughtfully written responses! This has been very informative and thought-provoking.

The gentleman does not know my real name and has only corresponded by e-mail (Luci Mei is a pseudonym). From his last e-mail, though, it sounds like he is having second thoughts, so I don't think this will go forward after all. He said that he's never been in a situation like this before and is no longer sure how he feels about it. That's my cue to exit, methinks.

I definitely feel better informed about these matters in general after reading your responses, so thanks again!

Luci do you have VIP status?  I want to PM you but not if you can't read the PM...

No VIP status, sorry. This particular arrangement has been called off, but if you would still like to PM me, my e-mail is simply [email protected].

Great response; and no, you were not overly verbose. The thoroughness and detail are appreciated!

...It's comparing apples and oranges with providers who charge $300./hour and see 2-3 clients a day.

He wants the illusion of a relationship w/o the commitment.  By paying per visit, this would take the fantasy out of it.  A monthly stipend is the best solution, but with clear guidelines as to minimum and maximum visits plus dinners, movies, etc. if that's part of the deal.

There is no exclusive "mutually benefit relationship" in this business -- men telling you that wants to get you for cheap.  GFE with FS and BBBJTC are all available through marriage.

If you want to start on this, do it like a real businesswoman: screen everyone well to your own satisfaction, and charge good rates to your own satisfaction.

Alternatively, try to find yourself a good husband and be a "good girl".

'Alternatively, try to find yourself a good husband and be a "good girl".'

I do not find this comment relevant to my inquiry at all. The hypothetical arrangement I described bears no similarity to a relationship I might have with a husband or serious boyfriend. The idea that I would ever marry a man for his money repulses me.

Thanks for taking the time to respond; I hope I have dispelled any misunderstanding.

My particular environment contains an element of the very wealthy; dupont heirs and what not.  This does not include me, unfortunately.  (lol). I know a couple of girls in this type of situation.

the typical profile for this sort of thing is the retired executive who showers money and gifts upon their girlfriends in the course of seeing them. Like, they would have an overnight date and then go shopping the next day for a couple of hours  to the tune of several grand. Special events like a birthday, she maybe gets a car.  If she wants a tuition bill or a house down payment, he writes a check.

He might see her once, maybe twice a week, usually not much more. Refusals are usually forgiven if they are once in a while but be careful. Some sugar daddies have more than one girl, some girls have more than one on the hook.  It's usually right out in the open but not discussed.

A truly exclusive would require a frank discussion of simply how much you want to make for that availability, in view of sudden travel requests and such.  If you are not able to otherwise work or whatever because of calls, then he needs to pony up for your whole year's salary.  

I know girls that make 200k this way, just for being there when called and not bugging him any other time. It's kind of a strange thing.  
 


Ther