Happy New Year to all!  Last month I saw a provider I really liked.  I contacted her yesterday for another visit and was told she's "out of town" until March. and she referred me to her friend "X".  That was a surprise, since the original provider said she'd be on a break only until early January.  Now she's suddenly out of town for a couple of months and referring me elsewhere.  It turns out that "X" asks for a larger donation than the original provider, enough to pinch a little bit.  I find the whole background check process a huge drag and don't want to go through it again with someone new.  I figure seeing "X" will be easy because it's a referral, but can I negotiate the donation based on the fact that it's more than that of the person doing the referring?  Or is there a hidden message in all of this that I'm not getting?  Thanks in advance for your input.

and I found someone that worked I'd just save my coin until March and tell X no thanks. Sounds like you're less than enthused about meeting X, and there's nothing worse than buyer's remorse. More generally, I never hobby outside of my price range; it leads to unrealistic expectations on my part and I almost always end up sorry I did it.

...were interested in. If it's just one or two hours don't consider negotiating. If you're looking for much more time negotiating might be ok with the lady you've been referred to but you can't be sure. I recommend just finding someone you are interested in that is in you're budget and see her instead or as the previous poster said wait 'til March.

Consider checking into a verification service like P411 (Preferred 411). Most ladies (not all) will see you based on that so you won't need to deal with screening with every new lady you want to see.  

Search here on the Newbie Board for discussions of negotiating. Search on the General Discussion Board too.

I would pass on X even though it's a referral which might mean lighter screening since she is apparently a friend of your orig provider.  Like previous post said, buyer's remorse ain't worth it.  If the provider's donation is out of your budget, you could tell her that but also say thanks anyway.  Ya never know, she might make you a better offer.  If she makes an offer in your price range, you might go for it, if she doesn't, again thanks but no thanks.

Sounds a little like the one you wanted originally is giving you the run-around for whatever reason.  Also mentioned previously, consider joining P411, their providers can indicate if they are newbie friendly.

Swim

Which does indeed work on occasion.

The girl whom referred you has no bearing on the other girl's rate. If you approach her with haggling, you're going to get put on her DNS list. Don't do it.

Thanks for the replies. I want to answer some questions and add a few more details.

I only seek an appointment for an hour.  "X" is VERY hot, if her pictures are to be believed, and I wouldn't at all mind seeing her, but she has no reviews and seeks a larger donation.

When I made the appointment with the original provider, she called a few hours before the date and asked to reschedule because of a "family emergency."  We rescheduled for two days later, which I confirmed via e-mail the day before.  She then called about 90 minutes before the rescheduled date to ask if we were still on, which I found strange.

The date seemed to go well and she seemed to lime me.  Then, almost immediately after seeing her, I get an e-mail from her saying "check out my friend so-and-so."  Then another last week for a different provider.  They were hot but I liked my original provider and wanted another appointment with her.  Then I get the referral for a yet a third provider because the original is "out of town".

I want to establish a rapport with a solid, reliable provider, but this is all getting a little flaky.  Maybe it's not a matter of negotiating, but finding someone new, even if it means starting all over.

Now let me repeat, I don't recommend newbs negotiate, with the sole exception of very long, overnight or multiple day type appointments

That being said, if he approached girl #2 and said,  

"Hey, I got recommended to you from a girl I know and her name is Venus. I would love to see you but I only have X to spend, which is what your friend was charging me. I certainly understand that you are under no obligation to charge me the same and I fully understand if you cant do it for that, but I thought I would give it a try since she spoke so highly of you."

I think the recommendation changes the situation a bit. It may be easy money for the referred girl and if the two gals are close, she will trust the other gals judgment more so than from just a stranger.

Now I don't know too many gals, under THAT specific example with the exact right approach, would DNS him necessarily.

But obviously it is possible and the OP would need to factor that in to his decision making. If she DNS's him, would he be ok with that? His region/city would also be a factor.

If he is in NYC or Chi town or Vegas, I would give him different advice than if was in East Bumblefook, West Virginia with only 2 escorts in a hundred mile area. LOL

That's about the only exception I could think of that might solve his problem.'

Swim

20 bucks says she's getting a cut. At any rate, it's up to you whether or not you want to take a chance paying up for a girl with no history, but you may as well hit BP if you're willing to TOFTT like that. Just be prepared to light that money on fire and jerk off if you do.

Not only did it piss me off, it also pissed off the lady who referred him. It's tacky as hell and reflects poorly on the referring provider. If he doesn't have the cash to see X, he should just look elsewhere.  

Many ladies would treat that situation differently then you though, especially in light of the fact that he was referred from another gal.  

Many ways to play this game. You have your ways, and I respect that, and others play their way.

All good.

causes people to take a break for a while.

Find someone else in your budget range and have a good time.

Interesting you should say that.  I don't know about her becoming a Madam, but I get the sense that I was dealing with some kind of "virtual agency" or something like that.  From day one I had a gut feeling that I wasn't just dealing with one independent provider.  The girl I met didn't sound exactly like the person I spoke to on the phone, and e-mails seem like they're coming from different people.  I also think the last-minute confirmation of the appointment might have had something to do with the availability of the apartment where I met her, which she said was her friend's place.

OK - I hear you (and most of the other people who have replied) - I won't try to negotiate her rate!

I had an old agency client who paid $350/hr while my current rate was $600. While I was away, he asked me for a recommendation for a friend. I mentioned a girl whose rate was $500 (this is in NYC).  

If he'd wanted a girl at my old agency rate, it would have been very tough for him to find someone who made him happy. He liked pretty young girls, educated, La Perla, Manolos, etc. and lived in a swank high-rise. The reason he was asking me for a recommendation in the first place was because the agency girls he was sent (besides me) were not his type, and (he claimed) so ghetto he felt embarrassed having them in his building (they had to be announced by his doormen)...

Anyway, I gave him the name of a GREAT girl, and of course he tried to haggle with her...not only mentioning that I still saw him for XXX (which I'd have preferred that he keep to himself), but basically telling her that she was unreasonable for charging what she did. She was PISSED and so was I. Not only did she never see that client again...neither did I.  

Right after I went independent (I raised my rate immediately) I was referred a few clients by a friend who still worked for a different agency. They always wanted last minute dates and tried to 'ask' the rate (I told her to give them my website URL, but I guess they either didn't look or thought I'd offer less...I dunno why). That was super annoying and after a while I told her I was really busy so not to worry about sending me clients...and, if she did, to NOT give them any info but my website...not contact number, no nothing!!

 


-- Modified on 1/19/2015 7:11:22 PM

It's possible you were dealing with a booker/assistant. It's not uncommon that you would not be told about the booker/assistant by the escort you were seeing.  
 

Another post about paying MSRP.?  Really?

We get it. You don't negotiate.  

I've never done it but why would I tell someone else how to hobby? Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it. Most things in life are a negotiation. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.  Yeah, I've flat out told clients (non-hobby) that I wouldn't bargain on price when I knew they'd pay full price. In some cases, I raise my rates, just so they can negotiate if I got the vibe from them that is what they would do. I let them think they are winning when they are still paying full price. Sometimes I cut my rate when I want/need the work. Its sales, shouldn't their be room for negotiations?  

I'm with you Jack.  I RARELY do it, but it has worked out for me 50% of the time.  Some ladies will, some won't. Nothing ventured, nothing lost.  That said, if a lady has clearly stated on her site that she doesn't negotiate, then I obviously wouldn't make an offer to her.

and looking at it from their perspective it makes total sense. Wouldn't you love it if you convince your clients that is was "insulting" to even try and get you to lower your rates?

This is the only business I can think of where the sellers act like they are the ones doing the paying and have convinced  so many of their customers that not only must they pay full MSRP, but have to jump through several hoops just for the privilege. lol

That's why guys like Jack, Dr Who, and myself spend so much time on this board, Someone has to speak on the guys behalf, or the newbies will think that they have no choice but to kowtow to every demand made by a BSC hooker.

For the record, I am almost always too lazy to negotiate with hookers in this country. I do so in other countries only when I know it is expected, but I reject the notion that making a counter offer is "haggling" I negotiate many things in both my personal and business life, everything from ten dollar items, up to multi million dollar contracts. Life is one giant negotiation, most smart people learn this at some point in their life, the smarter the person the faster they figure this out.

I've seen "booker" referenced before but have no idea what that is.  Can someone tell me?  Thanks.

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