Relatively new to this (last 12 months) and for the first time ran into a provider who wanted referrals as opposed to just lighter screening. That seems like an incredibly awkward thing to ask for but just trying to figure out what is kind of the standard way to go about this.

...and had the same concerns when I started. There are plenty that will see you with only light screening. Lately I've noticed that a recent selfie and a picture of your ID (address blurred) has been acceptable. They probably have other means to verify you.

If she requires references before seeing you then respect her wishes and move on.  

If you want to use a girl as a reference, it is etiquette to ask her first if it is ok and that you don't plan to do it regularly. I've never had an issue but some have said the lady asked for money for a reference.

the girls you've already seen there give you "OKs" and they often suffice in lieu of referrals.

TER has a whitelist I participate in vouching for gents, and p411 I submit okays.

I do not provide references without prior permission. I do not share information with anyone ever, unless asked too.  

I will take back my p411 okay & whitelist is an established friend goes South and violates my rules. Updating vetting is essential.

You or the provider make it that way. This lifestyle has no room for judgement, jealously, or unprofessionalism. I encourage clients to explore and make new friends!

I provide references, and so do alot of other sw (as long as within reason). I don’t require permission or payment bc my answer will be honest regardless.

I offer it as an alternative to more extensive screening (ID + LinkedIn). References allow us to connect with other providers, and see firsthand how the client behaved - I don’t pry or gossip and ALWAYS verify the person is a real provider. I only ask:
1) have you seen him in the last 6mo?
2) is he safe to see?
When asked for a reference, that’s all I disclose as well.  
“yes I saw him recently - safe and respectful”  
OR
“no, he is not eligible for a reference” but dont explain why unless necessary.  

Unless they have an assistant or are unorganized, it takes approximately 1min to pull up a clients email or #, verify you saw him, and would recommend him or not. I’ve encountered lovely ladies, and only less than a handful who made it weird/ ignored/gatekept.. which is ironic considering those same ladies ask for references LOL