Thanks in advance to everyone who will put their two cents in. I just got back from my first “encounter” with a TER provider and I’m just really bummed out. I might start rambling into multiple subjects but please bare with me (or don’t, can’t blame you) I just want to put it all out there and see what you think. So once again thanks in advance for helping.

I have a VIP membership, so I looked at lot’s of reviews  and narrowed it down to a couple of girls that seemed like my type. Established email communication, everything was nice and easy so I set up an appointment with one of them. She has 6 reviews total all within the last 2 months, her appearance average is 8.2, performance 8.8.

The main problem was really simple, I’d give her a 3 or 4 for appearance, not even remotely close to the 8's and 9's she has posted. With that kind of disappointment on appearance there really was not much of an interest in performance.
She seemed like a really nice girl. She could tell I was nervous, I told her it was my first time. I don’t think she realized I wasn’t into her (I hope she didn’t). I decided to give it my best shot anyways. Got a CBJ but had to close my eyes and think of somebody else. Finished, but no different than jerking off, not due to her lack of skill but my lack of interest. She offered round two, but it was not going to happen; didn’t want to touch her, kiss her, feel her, look at her or anything. Very awkward, had to go.

Is it normal to have this kind of discrepancy with other reviewers? Am I delusional, too picky? Are my expectations too high? I understand that everyone has different tastes. Some like petite Asians, others silicone stuffed blondes, big booty Latinas, “mature” women, etc. But if we all checking out the same girl I would assume that we are all into that particular type, shouldn’t it be at least in the same  ball park? I just don't see how she could get higher than a 6 and that's being extremely generous.

Where the pictures really her? Maybe. Her face was blurred. Is this my mistake? Seems that 90% of the reviews I checked out were blurred. Body? Possible, with the right lighting, angles who knows.

I don’t mean to sound like a pompous jerk here, but are my expectations too high? I date 9’s=Model material in real life. Real model material, like they are signed to a legitimate agency, and have done magazine spreads. 8=really hot= people turn around in public to check you out. 7= attractive= hotter than most, etc 5=plain=I wouldn’t have sex with you for free, not even if I was drunk. So no way I would drive and pay for it.

What am I supposed to do in this sort of situation? Leave? Bad Review? Nothing?
If I was an established reviewer it would be a different ball game but as a newbie I have to watch my reviews and references if I want to see other providers. If I give her a 4 in appearance then won’t other providers say, well this guy is a jerk, I’m not going to risk seeing him, he’ll ruin my score. That’s assuming my review (if I wrote one) would even get accepted due to the large discrepancy with the other reviews. Do I just walk out? Is that proper? When providers in the future ask for references am I supposed to say, sorry don’t have any cause I thought she was really unattractive so I just left? In the future should I PM the reviewers and double check that we have similar standards?

Sorry for whining. I was just really looking forward to the whole TER experience. But between the blurred faces, tedious screening and booking process, time investment and now disappointing first time it almost seems just as complicated as “real” dating.

I’m really trying and hoping this will work out. Just really bummed out right now.

Thanks for the help.

Some guys because they're "in love"with the girl, or others because they don't want to disappoint her. Some guys have never bedded anyone over a 5 in real life. Some guys here pay to fuck heinously ugly fat pigs, and rate them 9s. I've been at this a long time, and feel your pain. Take the #s with a grain of salt. 90% of the guys on these boards PAY to pork pigs that I wouldn't do if they paid ME!

Most  hobbyists DON'T use the  proper TER guidelines for  rating Appearance as it is written for reviews. There are VERY few actual "Model Material" and "Once in a lifetime" girls on these boards!  But, an awful lot of mediocre providers (at best) RECEIVE those scores/#s (8s, 9s, and 10s) from old fat hobbyists in the reviews.

Just like most girls are TEN years older than they claim, most girls are TWO appearance points homelier than most hobbyists rate them in the reviews.

BTW, WHY did ya get a CBJ?  Reviews will tell you if a girl offers BBBJ, or CBJ.

Sorry this happened friend!




-- Modified on 10/20/2008 5:22:28 PM

I am new to the hobby and I'm curious about this one too.

From what I've read and been told informally, a 7 for appearance is kind of like a slap in the face to many providers. So, do guys who saw a lady they would see again only have the realistic options of 8-10? Are ratings on looks uniformly inflated?

I have seen women who were certainly respectable looking, but they wouldn't give me whiplash if I saw them walking down the street. That is how I think of 9s and 10s. According to the guidelines, model material or once in a lifetime. Even a 7 or 8 should be worth a second glance. But if the more honest "nice looking" would rate a 6, it would be out of place with most all of their ratings.

Then if you go ahead and write the review with the lower score, are you setting yourself up to be ignored or turned away by potential providers?

Looks really aren't as important to me as personality/compatibility and attitude/performance, so I'm okay with non-model types. I've already seen enough pictures of ladies I'd be happy to see to keep me a happy hobbyist for awhile. But in evaluating who to see, and then how to write it up, I think this is a valid line of questioning.

I'm..... NotTryingToBeMean, but I'm curious too.

but if you want to be sure you only get real model type looks, you have to understand that such gals are rare and expensive.

You should limit your searches to those who show their face so you can be assured you get what you want.

There are agencies that handle such gals, it is not unusual for them to charge $1000/hour and up.

I'm not speaking for the original poster and I am not looking for "real model types", but I share the questions about ratings.

What I am trying to get is an understanding of the ratings expectations of fellow hobbyists and the apparent dissonance between the stated TER guidelines and the reality of what I see. There seems to be a balancing act between deceiving fellow hobbyists and being unkind to providers. I really don't want to do either, but haven't reconciled a good approach for myself yet.

Maybe. If you are dating model types in real life I don't really understand why you are paying for sex but that's your business.

Delusional? Nah, not really. You certainly have a right to high expectations and to want to enjoy your appointments. Appearance numbers are very subjective and yes, some guys lie to protect their reputations...you are suggesting yourself that you would consider doing it so this should not really surprise you.  

If the lady in front of you was not represented accurately in the photos you saw then yes, you could politely tell her that it just isn't going to work out and leave. If she came to you I would still give her something for her trouble.  If you are going to spend a lot of time worrying about how your reviews are perceived by other providers then I am afraid you are not going to be of much use to the TER community here. Write a review, be honest and don't flame the lady. Any lady that refuses to see you for writing an objective review is not worth seeing anyway.

I would add in closing that I've had some really great sex from some very average looking women. You simply need to accept the fact that life, and the hobby, are full of surprises and who is waiting behind that door is just one of them. Sorry if I seem unconcerned here but seriously, a lady who doesn't provide good service, no-shows, tries to cheat me on time or smells like a game preserve, these are things that I worry about. Less than model-like features are not that big of a deal. It's sixty minutes out of my life and I'm in a room with a naked woman pleasuring me. Seriously how bad can it be?

Personally, when I review, I honestly state what I think their level of physical "attractiveness" they are.  I would think for the most part most people try and do the same when they review as well.  I am sure there are some that try and "throw" this rating off either by over-inflating or undervaluing their looks for whatever reason.  However, 99% of the hobbyists on here are trying to do a benefit for the all of us.

HOWEVER, the ultimate decision is YOU and YOURS alone.  You are given (usually) some sort of photo(s) to work off of and the community of hobbyists who have reviewed her with a "looks" score.  This is FAR better than how it "used" to be (around 10-15 years ago) where you had nothing but a small picture (sometimes not at all) and a posting in some classifieds section.

You now have more info than ever before, so use it.

I can relate to what you posted.  In Real Life (tm), I have only twice had relationships with women that bordered on 'Model Material', so I may not have quite as high standards as you.  But I definitely found that my first few Hobby experiences surprised me.  I did a fair amount of research, thought I chose carefully, then was somewhat disappointed in the reality of the women behind the door.

If you read my first review, you can see that I almost gave up Hobbying before I really got started.  I just figured that I was delusional in thinking that I could find Julia Roberts at CL prices.  OK, maybe that extreme is delusional, but I knew I wasn't going to try spending $$$$/hr just to have a moment with a knock-out.

Once I had that first great experience, I realized a couple of things:

1.  Most of the appearance ratings ARE inflated:  This drives me a little crazy because I have since managed to see a few truly hot providers and I feel that the 8s or 9s I gave them are somewhat dimished by all the thousands of 8s and 9s given out to otherwise average looking women.  There should be nothing wrong with being rated as a 6 or 7 (Hell, if I personally was rated I would probably be a 5 or 6).

2.  I find it VERY important to cross-check the reviewer's rating history.  If I am interested in a provider, I check her reviews.  I look at her latest high score and her latest low score.  I check those reviewers to see if they generally inflate all their reviews (25 reviews and all either 9 or 10).  I also note that some reviewers are just very difficult to please (or worse, seem almost vengeful in their reviews).  

3.  If I see a guy with a variety of ratings, I check his highest and see what the provider's photos look like and how others rated her.  Basically I am checking to see if he has similar taste as me.  If he has actually seen a provider that I have seen, I am especially interested in how her rated her compared to me.

4.  Since I have been doing this, I have rarely been disappointed.  Also, I now have a mental list of reviewers whose opinions I value and I keep an eye on who they are rating.

Finally, I have also learned that even if a provider doesn't match her history of 9 ratings and her photo shopped pictures, there can still be a definite sexual attraction.  There is also no direct correspondence between appearance and performance, although for a short session, the former can certainly enhance the latter.

Forgot to add:
5. It is very important to read the text of the reviews.  Often you can get extra insight into what the reviewer was basing his score on.  If he said, "She was so monstrously obese that she actually reminded me of my HOT aunty Agnes so I gave her a 10!" then I guess I might discount that review for my search purposes.  If he said, "She was pretty, but I was hoping she would wear a lot of make-up and dress in a gangster outfit, not the short skirt and tank top she had on" then I would probably ignore his rating of 5 and seriously consider her.

-- Modified on 10/20/2008 2:41:03 PM

EXCELLENT recommendations. Absolutely excellent. Just wish more people followed them as guidelines.

Firstly, taste is subjective so your 4 may be someone's 10.  You may need to look for a larger sample of reviews to catch that difference.  Beyond that, there IS grade inflation.

I'm very picky, and know that, so I start by excluding women that have more than a few 7 or below.  Then I look at ALL of her pictures.  If something on ANY of them looks problematic, I go to the next one.  I very often enlist the help of a friend that has similar taste.  He's talked me down more than a few times when I was thinking with my dick.

If you're not a VIP member, you're missing the finer points of the database.  By looking at a guy's other reviews, you'll get an idea what he likes.  If it's not in line with your taste, he's not a huge help to you.  If you read all the reviews of all the busier guys in your area, you'll soon find out who's reviews to give the highest weight to.  Then reach out to him, and hope for the best.

Good luck.  There are some real 10's out there, mixed in with a lot of the rest of the 10's.

Instead, maybe you just know what you want and only want to actually have what you want (tongue-tie ). There is nothing wrong with that.
Something to consider for next time is that a provider might sense you are not interested in her within the first 5 minutes of meeting her. To prevent that awkwardness, while also ensuring you are intimate with the model type you are looking for, try to schedule a dinner date or introductory meeting with the lady prior to any intimate encounter. Then, if you like her...enjoy!

Who's to say what they were thinking at the time they were writing their review. They must have been very happy during their visit and left satisfied. Let's face it, few men ever get to date a real life model as you have.

Every man has a different number system to looks and performance..I have seen it myself. I have seen a 9 for a CBJ in the review. I got a 7 from a newbie who I went 40 minutes over with. Just check for the 7, 7 and see for yourself. Guess he didn't like me but with no references I was close to his only choice. I would have rather known he was just looking for a reference and not seen him at all. I pride myself on how I treat people and seldom have anyone who is disappointed.

You are a man who wants what he is use to, real model material. Well their are ladies like that in the listings here but you didn't find her.

Now I don't know if this has happened to you or not but I have found once the kissing begins nothing else matters. For you things were so bad you never let that get started. Did she feel your coolness you ask??? I bet she wanted to leave as much as you did...

There was no chemistry there. You would have been better off giving her some money for her time and letting her go. It's not her fault..She didn't write those reviews and she didn't tell you she was model material.

Do as you will, do as you must but find a happy medium or you will look like the bad guy. Do we ladies look at reviews you have written ? I know I do along with any posts on the boards. Would I see you if I saw a bad review about a lady? Yes, but I would be very careful to be sure I am what your looking for...

You don't have to be so critical in your review because you are very critical.
Only  .000000000000000000000000000000001 % of the population would fit into your catagory of model material. At that rate we might have one or two on the TER system.

Kisses Haley

Well; he won't be see'n me anymore"

 I've heard it more than once, and by more than one provider.

In addition to reviews,as a VIP, you also have the option of sending private messages to other members- (*This is also known as back channeling*) One possible suggestion is to start some type of communication with other hobbyists- this will be an added avenue of reference.

The area you are planning to hobby in also has a huge influence on what hobbyists feel is an "8"  or a "10"- some of the larger cities have more providers so the competition for business can be more intense. By that logic you might have more providers competing for the same business- This has historically lead to a higher standard of both performance and appearance. If you do not reside on a city that supports a high volume of providers, then possibly making an appointment when you are traveling on business or possibly on a holiday in a bigger city could have more positive results.

I might also suggest that after you have been screened to request a clear photo of the provider- while I have had my face online throughout the years, I have no problem when a gentleman requests a recent photo-  If you have already been screened and the provider is comfortable with you she will probably honor your request. Also, most established providers have nothing to hide- they are only trying to protect their privacy but once a provider is comfortable and you have met with her screening, she should be ok with sending a couple recent photos.

Sorry to hear your first experience was less than you expected best wishes in the future in finding what you are seeking   kisses ~T

-- Modified on 11/6/2008 12:18:37 PM

... yes, there is some inflation and to some degree tastes vary. But two of the last three ladies that I saw said they were models and all three were spectacular looking ladies - all slightly different but all gloriously beautiful and talented.

So maybe you just got unlucky.

But in general, let's be a little more respectful of the ladies we play with and have a little less shallow thinking about looks.

MH50

Heres mine.

Attractive womwn are a pain in the ass. Sure they look good and they know it. They expect the world to stop in thier presence and most are way too pushy because oftentimes the world does.

Its great for awhile but at some point you just are not willing to do more for them than the next guy. All in all moneywise providers are far cheaper and they leave when your done.

Also there is no variety, sure steak is great. But I dont want it every day.

Then you have the hang-ups.ie No doggie style, dont put it in my ass. I hate it when you touch my boobs like that. Could we shut the lights off. Hurry up we are going to be late for church. blah blah blah.

I could go on for some time after 2 marraiges and 20 some odd hot girlfriends. But Im sure you get the picture.

I think that it is important that each person's desires are different and the scale that you judge a woman by. I think that the pictures being acurate are important. If she is not "model hot" then she needs to state that either in her measurements ect. I have met very unique people and the BBW is in my screen name so that it is clear. I have found there is a world of men that really love the taste of that flavor of women. There are ladies for all types both body types, hair color, gfe or not, fetish or price. I would never shop price alone. Find what stirs your soul or maybe a little below the waist. When you first arrive, talk for a minute to make sure you both feel comfortable, if there is no chemistry, state that and offer small amount to cover her time. Chemistry makes the moment. To each his own, but be honest in your review. Honesty with compassion.

a gal who might only get 5 five walking down the street, takes on a completely different aura when she's buck naked... glistening slightly from her own persperation... a little (or a lot) flush in the face... and staring you straight in the eyes from a distance of less... and I mean a lot less... than 12 inches.  Now she gets an 8 or better.

Reviews are based upon last impressions, rather than first...

wow....this is all very new to me and all I have to say is...I worry as much as how I come off as a "client" more than how critical/judemental some of the reviews I've read....you guys expect perfection??? Every man has differnt taste...I like thicker busty women....some guys refer to them as pigs, which is uncalled for....I have read a lot of these postings about ratings and all I can say is....go by your instinct....you don't know until u get to the show...I bet if they could rate us...I shudder to think.
I think I'd get a 7 on looks....5 on performance.....just had to throw that out there.

I had one provider tell me how thankful she was I shaved and was extra clean down there....I thought, aren't all guys like that???

We're not made of glass, and we don't break if your not attracted to us. Sometimes what others view as wonderful, you might view as just ok...you could have been honest with the provider you chose. Didn't you see her pictures? Did you ask her if they were recent pictures when you spoke to her to line this "date" up? Was her performance a good one? All this could be mentioned in your review of her. "Appearance wasn't what i thought it would be, but her actions were great even though i really wasn't attracted to her look"  something on that vein.
Sometimes men write a stellar review for someone not so great hoping they would get a little extra time or whatever from the girl next visit.
Try Honesty...it's the best game in town!
Jay

so I won't.  Great post.

I agree . . .  except for the going to church part, never experienced that ; ) Lights out, anal, variety = 100% accurate.

Did you look carefully at her pics?  Where they all taken from the same angle to perhaps "shield" a few extra pounds, etc.?

Did you read the reviews carefully or just compute the average scores?  I rely on the written words more than the numbers.  As others have said, each guy rates the ladies a little differently.  

Did you check some other reviews written by the guys who reviewed the lady you saw?  By doing this you can determine if the reviewer is a high rater, low rater, or somewhat normal.

Final advice--Don't give up after only one date!

The kids got game except for the "dont give up" part. If you didnt like it dont do it again. We pay these girls to make us like it. If you didnt she has failed. Not to say that makes her a bad provider just bad for you. Keep looking and youll find one you like.  

Check out the reviewers other reviews. If hes scoring every chick he sees as a 8 or better, I  subtract 3 points. If hes ever scored anyone a 10 subtract 4. 7 or better minus 2. 6 or better minus 1.

I also look at perforfomance in a similar fashion. If hes giving away 9s and 10s for CBJ, no anal or kissing the reviewer is obviously padding it for some reason.~Felix

Dont ever, ever take a provider out to dinner. First thing; you can bet your ass shell charge you and make you pay for the meal.

Second thing she doesnt need or want your company she needs your cash.

Do yourself a favor. Keep it business. Enjoy it. But dont forget for a minute that she works for you. Shes not your girlfriend or even your friend. She is an employee.

Do your research (you seem like a smart guy) make your pick and live with it. If you dont like it dont do her again.

Friends of mine have described me as a mile wide and an inch deep. lol

I share the OP's frustration regarding looks. For that reason I barely pay any attention to the 9's and 10's posted by many reviewers. Call me picky but I have seen women with high marks for looks that I wouldn't drag out of the bar a 2:00 AM for free.

I am not in this hobby to see average looking, middle aged women. I can see as many of that type as I want for free, in Atlanta they are so common you don't even have to spring for dinner.

I am in this hobby to see numerous "HOTT" women that I wouldn't ordinarily have much of a chance with.

I understand and agree with much of your point, BUT why the venom?

BTW, Felix - it is not acceptable to post under 2 different names in the same same topic.

It makes some of us forget our manners.

I also understand, but I disagree very much with his point. There is no reason a hobbyist and a provider cannot be friends or even more.

What's wrong with sharing a meal with a provider? I have a provider friend who I have to fight for the check everytime we go out. She insists on paying way more than her share. The ability to pay is irrelevant. We can both afford to pay for a meal, I prefer to pay but the fact that she genuinely enjoys my company is priceless.

and yes Felix I know this for a fact, we don't have a professional relationship, we are just friends, and very good friends at that.

and then we would not have to put up with this kind of behavior. The gentleman's post made a valid point from a certain perspective but the attacking nature of the subject line was unwarranted. E-communication has a way of reducing the normal and civilized inhibitions inherent to face to face communication - aliases only serve to make this tendency worse.

Hi Gia Marie - this is an important point and one often overlooked. The provider has feelings too. A professional will get the job done regardless, but a really nice experience is always mutual. Personally, I find that chemistry trumps "appearance score" anytime. Cheers - Gregory

My first date with a provider (I did not write a review) did not go as well as I would have liked because I was very nervous before I ever saw her.

When I saw her, she was so attractive and sexy that I got even more nervous and never did relax for the entire session. Thoughts kept going through my mind that I had never been in a room with a woman like this, much less naked in bed with her.

Where you live affects this issue a lot.  I live in  Los Angeles/Orange County.  All of the women that I have seen have been beautiful, sexy and gave me a great experience.  I spent a lot of time looking at pics on Cityvibe and reading reviews on TER and it all payed off.  There is a lot to choose from in Southern California.

whats good for you and how you do things isn't always good for another, Jesus, do you always have ice water running thru those veins of yours?
We as providers are not just a few pounds of meat to use and abuse and looked upon as "employees" and if you go into your session with an attitude like this, i'm sure she would be counting the minutes until your time is up!
lighten up and maybe treat your "choice" with a bit more passion and not some overseeer of property he owns for an hour!
Jay