So, I'm definitely NOT new to the hobby.  But I have NEVER figured out exactly how to go about figuring out what a lady's offerings are when contacting her.  The ads all say that if you discuss explicit things you will get hung up on.  OK.  Well, how does a gent figure out what he's getting himself into ahead of time?

So far I have either relied on TER reviews, Google searches, or some providers will text me information but more and more providers are saying 'no text'.

A guy should know what is offered and not offered before he ever meets the girl.  It shouldn't be a surprise.  That way, his expectations are properly managed.  And, he can ensure he also donates enough.

It really, really bugs me for ladies to say 1) call instead of text, 2) no text, and 3) don't discuss explicit details or they will hang up on you.  

I don't think it's asking too much to know what is and is not offered before we meet.  That way, if I am looking for a particular offering and the lady does not offer it, then great.  I will just move on instead of bothering her.

So, ladies, please chime in and educate the old and newbies

list her "menu" of services and described what you can expect on a date.

If there is something "off-menu" and specific you are looking for, the wait until AFTER you have been screened to inquire about it, and do so in a discreet and respectful manner. Certain things are best asked face to face and may have to wait for a second encounter if they involve prep work.

You can PM other reviewers to ask some things as well.

It is all about doing your homework and proper communication.

...of the reviews to know the menu. I have back channeled a few times to confirm what I've discerned from the reviews and profile. It's important to remember too that ymmv always applies. I have checked another review site but only because the provider specifically asked why "nobody uses *--*" review site. I found something there that let me know I was no longer interested in seeing her.

Thus far I've not run into a situation where something I thought was on the menu wasn't.

You have to know LE wants to catch you/her discussing sex for money. She is understandably leery of someone she doesn't know and has never seen discussing sex acts (yes even acronyms) over the phone or by text. Now many say will just don't mention sex acts related to money and you should be fine. The fact remains most providers won't discuss specifics whether money is connected to it or not.  

You can wait until you are screened and an appointment has been set then ask if she would be OK with discussing her services offered. She might say OK she might not. You have to decide from there whether to proceed or not. This is what I did with the provider mentioned above. She agreed to the discussion. She confirmed the fact that she only did covered bj's. I told her I was no longer interested in an appointment. She said she understood and that was that. This was all by e-mail. I don't use phone or text for initial contact.  

What would you suggest? She needs to protect herself. No one here thinks it's a good idea to discuss specific sex acts until in the room during the session and even then many are not comfortable with it until things get started.  

Note to anyone wondering all this usually goes out the door after an initial session. I have discussed specifics by e-mail and/or TER PM with ladies for subsequent visits.

But to be perfectly frank, I don't really give a shit what "really, really bugs" you. I'm not going to incriminate myself to a stranger and I'm not going to change my method(s) of communication for one guy who may or may not actually book a date.  

Typically, I'd wonder what "offerings" you wouldn't be able to infer from doing the homework you mentioned, but then I remembered your ISOs.

END OF MESSAGE

reviews (4 or 5 or more if you the time) to see if what you are seeking is being offered.

Normally, I would blast someone for taking the tone you did on this board, but this dude has been hobbying for what looks like 10 years or so and admits he is no newb.

Well, that, and I agree with everything you said. LOL

Once screened, the vast majority of women I've seen are quite open, especially when displaying some tact and utilizing good communication skills.   Being screened first is absolutely critical though; this bit of information can't be emphasized enough and I certainly wish I would have been better versed in the importance of it starting out.

My biggest regret to date as a hobbyist was inadvertently asking a question about activities and rates in the same email before being screened.  Although I was quite new to the hobby at the time, I was never able to undo the damage caused by making a bad first impression with this particular provider and I still kick myself about it; it was all so unnecessary.  Understandably, though, providers do need to protect themselves...I totally get that.
 

Yes TER wants juicy details  in reviews.Reviews could be helpful for screening and references without juicy details.

roles and put yourself in the provider's position?  How vulnerable to potential "LE" would you be willing to make yourself?

Aren't providers already vulnerable enough, even after screening, whenever they see someone new?

One need not be a rocket scientist to understand why this is one of the challenges for both hobbyists and providers alike.  After all, that is why we have TER.

In P4P we are constantly doing a balancing act between safety and convenience. This is one example where provider safety most definitely trumps the guy's convenience. It's not that difficult to simply read her reviews to find out what she offers. Asking a woman to make it a breeze for LE to arrest, prosecute and convict her, just because the guy is too lazy to do five minutes of research is completely unreasonable in my book.

One last note, I feel obligated to be nice to the actual newbies here asking legitimate, even if a bit naïve type questions. A guy who has been here for ten years is not entitled to the kid glove treatment. Can you imagine how many "go fuck yourself" replies he would have gotten on the  GD board? Yes, I agree that TT was rather muted in her response. She could have been a lot harsher without getting so much as a raised eyebrow from me.

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Just ask when you meet her in person. If she doesn't accommodate your request just walk out.

espectfully, we are not a restaurant.  Sensuality is openness...exploration is the essential quality of the hobby.  I understand the need to know what the possibilities are especially if you have your heart set on some particular experience, but I truly ask you to really go tantric and blossom when you spend time with me.  The menu pre-thought in many ways interferes with a genuine connection- the catalyst to a smokin' hot time.  

All I can say after seeing that ISO is, Wow!  Now this thread I guess common sense isn't common anymore cause he's not using any.

Is that comfortable?

Tobi, after following you through this thread, I'm just gonna ask you to give me a heads-up if you ever tour in the Minneapolis area.