Joined TER some time ago, find all the discussions most interesting and helpful, and although I'm feeling more and more comfortable about the whole idea of seeing a provider I haven't as yet taken the plunge.

I guess we all have our various reasons for being here but just wondering what took people past the tipping point and once over was it hard on or like many addictions you got hooked over a period of time?

I know the perspective you wanted was from the guys..but as a provider I can tell you it took me awhile too.  You just need to find someone to connect with so you feel more comfortable.  Maybe chat with a provider you are thinking of seeing.  I can't speak for all of the providers but I for one don't mind a few emails first. It kind of breaks the ice so you are less shy.  Then the intimacy is more fun.  
  Take care and remember it's for fun!

Jacktarx,
I have no words of wisdom because I'm a fellow virgin in the world of the hobby but not for long as I have an "appointment" to keep on Thursday. I'm sure nerves will strike just like they did on a first date with a beautiful woman I've always wanted to take out. Only you know when your ready. All I can say is once you decide, don't wait too long (don't forget to do your due diligence) just stand in the door and jump!

Geronimo!!!!!

P.S. I guess I did have some words of wisdom after all......

No worries sweetie. its okay to wait until your ready. When you find the right time it will just happen. You are in a friendly place Hi Cindy!!

Since I've only been doing this for a couple of months, how I got started is still fresh in my mind. I posted a couple of questions on the newbie board and a local provider took an interest in answering my question in person. We exchanged a few PMs and before I knew what was happening I had cleared her verification and booked a date. If you've lead a life of hot sex with beautiful women, then you won't find hobbying addicting. On the other hand, if you are like a lot of us and have lead a fairly (or very) vanilla life, you'll be hooked from the git-go, its like crack. The day after my first date I was busy trying to figure out who to see next. 3 months later I've seen 3 ladies, one of them 3 times, I'm running out of vacation days at work and I'm broke since my careful plan to budget ahead didn't match up with the touring lady's availability. This hobby of ours isn't for everyone (I'm not sure yet that it's for me for any length of time) but its a heck of a ride. Just remember to be careful and breathe!

It took me about 3 months to get up my nerve to see one. That was 12-27-08 and by the way it wasn't a very good experience. Well since then I have seen nine. I am out of control, it's very exciting I got to be honest. I just left one and I'm thinking who will I see next or should I start at the top of the order, somebody stop me. It is hard to get started, but once you do, it will be hard to stop. There are so many beautiful and exciting women out there. I want to see them all!!! So you've been warned. Now pick-up the phone and call one these beautiful ladies...

When I first joined TER as a VIP, my goal was to find some companionship on an upcoming business trip.  I spent a couple of weeks researching, and doing all the things we advise newbies to do.  I finally reached out to a lady in the city I was visiting, but it didn't pan out...the lady was out of town for a few days w/o e-mail access, and didn't contact me until the night I returned home.  Frustrated, but determined, I scanned my local board that night, and an ad from a highly regarded visiting provider caught my attention.  Sent her an e-mail...response the following day...met with her two days thereafter.  Great time, and we still reminisce about it!  

That was almost five years ago, still here, and still having fun!  The hobby is what you make of it.  For some, it is an occasional indulgence; for others, it becomes part of their lifestyle.  For me, it has evolved from indulgence to lifestyle.  For me, it has added significantly to my personal happiness...I now have control over my sexual destiny.  Think about what that means...

If you really want to do this, then just go for it, and make the plunge.  You sound like someone who has done his homework, but is procrastinating.  If so, stop that, and get into the game.  You'll be happy that you did!  

Regards,

CD

Jacktarx,

Take your time, become a VIP and read all the reviews on providers in your area.  Read the FAQ for Newbies and then select one of the well reviewed providers that strikes your fancy. You WILL have a great time.  There's alot of info here that will insure that you are prepared and know what to expect.  Stick with TER and you won't be disappointed by the hit and miss of blindly trying someone on CL or one of the other boards out there.  I started hobbying this year and it's been a BLAST.  You'll be amazed at what's available right down the street, under your nose.   The only problem I'm having is chosing who to try this week!  

pick someone who is well reviewed and has the look you want, believe me she will do the rest just relax and enjoy it,the nerves will go away once you get rollin.

will make the 1st call or email. Don't over think it.

....and found TER in the process.  I couldn't belive that there was this whole world of hobbying.  I was extremely nervous at first, but contacted a girl via her website.  

She e-mailed back and said she'd like to call me, which we arranged.  With sweaty palms, I told her that I hadn't seen another woman for 20+ years, and she "worked me through" the process.  I met her about a week later (this was about two years ago), and I've had the good fortune to enjoy the company of some great ladies since.

Her name was Lisa Butler (Lisa Real, now, in Miami).  It was the phone call from her that put me over the edge.

When your big head meets the urge of your little head, you'll probably make the plunge. Hobbying is like anything else, some individuals can get addicted to anything, gambling, drinking, etc.
Lurk on The Erotic Highway, submit questions to the LG, this is also a good post for the Newbie board. Do your homework before you make the plunge, and you should have a great time. The hobby isn't for everyone. Good luck

Jack,

I lurked with TER for about 2 weeks and then got the 1 month VIP. I couldn't believe there were so many good looking providers with great reviews. I had looked on CL but scared to contact a lady. Then this site with it's postings and reviews luckily showed me a way to safely enter the hobby world.

I picked a lady in my area (actually a legend provider) with pages of 9's 10's so I contacted her. I sent her a resume as to why I would be a safe newbie for her to see. After two emails back/forth and then she called me. I was so nervous on the phone but held it together to make a date. She treated me like a king. I thought I was in a porn movie and she was the star!!! She let me do just about everything, showed me positions I had only read about..etc.

So Jack, I would highly recommend taking the plunge. Do however, have yourself a lifejacket (not talking rubbers..lol) in that you will spend some heavy cash at first (at least I did) because it's that addicting. I'm just now cutting back to 1 provider/week.

Good luck and let us know how your first time is!!...DB8

there was no TER.  I knew of no one who hobbied...

and to top it all off,  I had limited cash.  However, I would save and scrimp... but to be totally honest,  after the final 4 years of marriage with NO SEX.... I was about to burst...

my selection of a lady was an ad in the back of a local rag... horrible.  finally I found an ad in a local rag for an agency of some merit... and as I was going on a business trip to Canada, I searched on the internet... and that was the early formative years of BizzaroSuperdude... it took a while for him to become fully formed... but in the interim...

The lovely Canadian ladies were a true treat... especially the second one... as she also did part time modelling and told me about conventions and her desire for intense sex... (that is, she was not just there for the money, but something else...)... the second provider was more typical, she had a kid at home, and this provided extra income to supplement her wages from her day job.

upon return, I called the agency that I had located in the local rag.... and set up an appointment.  The lady was nice looking and she got 'into' the session... afterwards, I called the agency to ask how I could tell the lady how great I thought she was....  they suggested writing a review... I did, and a BSD was born... have not looked back.... now, wanna know the truth...

I too, have jitters before seeing someone and hesitate?  Why?  Cause I am looking for the elusive perfect session.... I have come close with a few of providers... VERY CLOSE

To top it all, I love variety - and I like charting new territory - which is why I now take chances with the non-reviewed gals... and there, it has to look legit... and that is very difficult to discern...

I would say that people respond differently to the hobby, me?  I see a variety of women, don't review all, but have a budget for the hobby...  I would suggest that you do the same... set a budget... and follow that.

I went from my first no-sex disasterous marriage to 20 years of limited sex which I'm still in.  I tried sprucing up the home sex with some books & i-villiage articles...  always a good thing if some new move should creap into your home to have an explaination other than the hobby.
Eventually I realized just a couple of years ago that there were things I had never done...  and would never do...  unless I took some action.  I tried on my own before I found TER & had some mixed (including some B&S) experiences.  

I got VIP & have had better luck.
skb

WHen I made the plunge it was during a period when I was feeling pretty sexually frustrated at home with the wife. She was frustrated as well since to her I was always "on", always horny. It was frustrating for both of us.

I decided to do something about it and stop whining. I planned a trip by myself out of town on the motorcycle. I told my wife I just wanted to get out of town... but really it was a sex adventure. Like other guys, I was super nervous and didn't even know if I could perform. I did and the women were great.

Since I have started Hobbying, the sex at home has been the best in about 10 years. I'm not always pressuring my wife for some lovin so she feels relaxed enough to let it happen more easily. Frankly, we are making love more often now and the passion is better for me which means she enjoys it more too.

I have looked at the TER and Hobbying now a form of therapy. Sex therapy, marital therapy, call it what you want. Untraditional, but it works. Literally both myself and my wife are much happier now, I enjoy spending non-sex time with her more since its not a constant issue on my mind, she is not pressured and so has loosened up (in more ways than one).

Don't know if you are in the same boat, but I would encourage you to take that first step. Do it witha provider with high marks so you know your first time will be fun and everything you would want. Then you can start exploring a bit more.

Just do it.

After two failed marriages in which I played by the rules of societal norms, a life threatening event where I came to grips with my mortality, and being horny as hell, I decided that life is too short to make everyone else happy while I was unhappy. Got a TER VIP membership, and did my homework. At first it can feel quite addictive, but there's plenty of good minds here on the board, and LG on the Erotic Highway, who discuss this issues. And, if you're truly worried about it, you can talk to a therapist before or after you start, if you start at all. Good Luck.

Or was this thread on the GD board a few hours ago???

I never took the plunge until after I discovered TER.  I was always curious and I would comb through CL ads and things but never really had the guts to just do it on a whim.  

There was something about TER that made making that plunge a bit more easy.  I could do some heavy research WELL before I made a decision.  And TER isn't the only tool out there, I only started about two months ago and I'm constantly learning something new that helps me feel more secure in the hobby.

I started of light, just a sensual nude massage.  But after I saw that it wasn't as terrifying as my analytical mind was making it out to be, I decided to jump right on in.

As for it being addicting......depends on your character and how fat your wallet is.  I love women which I forsee it as a downfall in this hobby because I have about 100+ on my to do list.  However, I am also well aware that I can't live beyond my means.  So it's just a matter of one thing cancelling another.

So if you don't have an addictive personality, I think you'll be alright.  Be smart though, do the research!

... yes, it was on the GD Board.  The Mods must have moved it to the Newbie board considering the nature of the post.

This phenomenon has baffled me a few times.  Causing me to scratch my head and check my medications.  Maybe the Mods should add a note to the subject header that indicates the shift.

It sounds like you have done your research so I won't go over all the great points about picking a well-reviewed provider with multiple reviews from members that have a history of reviewing, etc., etc.  Or about showing up clean, on time, with the proper change, smiling, etc., etc.

One thing I might add is this:
Don't immediately submit a review of your first or second session.  You may think that first one is a 'Once in a Lifetime' experience, only to find out that it is the norm for many of the wonderful ladies out there.  On the other hand, you may also enter into this with unrealistically high expectations only to find that your first experience or two couldn't live up to the hype.  Once you have a few data points to cross-check against, your grading scale will probably be more reliably set.  But that's just what I did.  Others may think I'm crazy.

As for me, I backed into this world while trying to help out a good friend.  Funny story.

Addictive?  Kind of.  It sure it interesting.

One marriage, dozens of girlfriends, 35 years and countless providers I am still going strong.

Most of us look over the wall for a while before going in.  In my case, I got tired of begging for it at home, especially since I'd found myself making more than twice what I'd ever earned before.  So, I had the need and the means.  Oh, and since I owned my own business, I also had the opportunity.

I remember leaving her place with crushing guilt.  I also felt like the smell of sex surrounded me like Pigpen from Charlie Brown cartoons.  Of course, that was all in my head.  I've gone back to the well since then, and have justified my actions to myself.  Can't say that it will be right for you, but you aren't crazy for what you're thinking.

OK, I plead guilty to being somewhat crazy but yeah, the question was pretty much rhetorical.  Frankly I think it was fine right where it was.  The newbie board is more of a Q&A forum where this topic is pretty general in it's intent.  I rarely see the point in moving threads around...especially when there are plenty of offensive alias posts that the mods could be working on cleaning up instead...

Thanks for all your input, sounds like a lot of kindred spirits out there with very similar reasons for being here.

Lots of gorgeous women in my area and with budget set aside I really have no reasons not to go for it.

Guilt I can live with hot sex I can't.

Will keep you all posted on progress.