Hello all. I'm pretty new to this so I have a few questions but will separate them into different threads.

First off I am wondering I have submitted a couple reviews quite some time ago but none of them have been accepted or approved. Any idea why? Is it that my reviews didn't seem legitimate? I tried to be as detailed as I could without writing an essay. The two reviews I have submitted were both resoundingly positive so I am perplexed.

Secondly... I traveled with a provider for a long weekend and provided a substantial sum. I thought we had built quite some rapport and connection but she kept reminding me that I owed her $200 which was honestly 3% of the total sum and I bought over $1000 in gifts for her together. Additionally in our last two nights she didn't want to be involved intimately (hope u get my drift here without stating the obvious). She just said she had no desire or drive. But I found this very bizarre because I am actually in my 30s with a lean athletic build. I'm very articulate, polite, hygienic, courteous. It wasn't because she may have been too sore... We only became involved once each night because we were busy sightseeing during each day. I was very respectful and didnt force the issue upon her but by the last night i was very frustrated. I had paid all upfront except the $200 so I felt I couldn't ask for any of it back. I also realize it would have been construed of as rude even with all the gifts I had bought and resigned myself to a lesson learned.

The question is ... How do I prevent this from happening and if it does happen again, in all fairness, do I have a right for reimbursement of funds. The provider is a well reviewed provider ... With about 3 pages of reviews so I did everything I could to minimize this risk of occurring. I even spent a couple hours with her separately in advance of the trip to screen her. I did have a couple misgivings... She wasn't as involved as I would have liked but everything else about her fit my high standards.  

I also apologize in advance for any inappropriateness. As I said I am new to this and it is my first long trip with someone. I tried to keep any identifying information minimal other than the amount involved because I was flabbergasted at how petty and how uninvolved in the trip she became.

Another question is... In the future to prevent this from happening can I pay half up front and the remaining half on satisfaction completion of the trip? That seemed like a no-no as she an her agent requested all up front.
Thanks all.

-- Modified on 10/18/2014 2:11:05 PM

-- Modified on 10/18/2014 2:24:58 PM

if you do not have any, admin usually holds the first one or two.  There are various reasons, but it happens.  On your list of reviews in your account manager, there should be a comment in the 'status' column as to why the review(s) have not posted yet.  If you are still not sure, use the 'contact us' button and ask admin.

The provider situation, well, that's kind of a puzzler.  First of all, I would never have an extended date with a provider that I had not spent more than one or two hour dates with.  Secondly, it seems as though she got what she wanted (the money), and just didn't want to get intimate with you more than minimally necessary, for whatever reason, and only she knows that.  No desire or drive was just an excuse, in my mind.

I'm sorry this happened to you, my friend, but I hope you learned a lesson from this, albeit a very expensive one.  I don't think I would have given her so much up front, and damn sure would not have spent over a grand on gifts for her.  Since she apparently shorted you in the sex department, she should have offered to refund some of the money you gave her, but as she didn't or offer to, just chalk it up to experience and try to avoid the same thing in the future.

Swim

Thanks for the reply. I have updated my original post to clarify some of the points u make. I did indeed screen her for a couple hours before. We had decent chemistry... I did have a couple misgivings but was willing to overlook them to make it work. I have very high standards and she was one of few that fit in it. I was also very respectful to her when she declined my advances. In the future should I just pay half in advance and the remaining half on satisfactory completion of the trip? I suggested that and she/agent said no.

Why you would have taken some gal that you (I'm assuming you hadn't met her for BCD first) had NO history with is beyond my understanding.  But you now know better...right?

Clearly there really is NO chemistry in this game...there is a paying dude and a gal willing to fuck you for the money.  It's just that simple!   The chemistry portion (as I see it) is nothing more than you seem to "like" each others company for some time frame.  But never misconstrue her "liking" you for anything more than the bucks you are paying....and from your own story she had little use for "liking you".

If you do venture into the multi-day deals again...don't deal with some gals assistant/screener/pimp.  Deal with HER and only her to avoid any misunderstandings (hence no intermediary to lie to your face).  Clearly define what YOU are seeking (how often sex is going to happen)....NOT what she is seeking.  If the gal is not interested in providing what you are seeking...move along quickly.  But ask in advance...not once you have committed to this deal that you don't know what the terms are.

As for paying in advance....each gal is different.  Many will ask for half up-front..others the entire amount...and others something that would be more palatable to you.  When ANY gal wants all of it up-front...run...very fast.  That rarely works out the way you may have hoped.  You're far from the first dude to tell this story....and you certainly won't be the last.

Good luck on getting that refund.  I know that she'll gladly refund you something at the same time that the sun blows up.  

Don't get caught up in what you assume to be "standard" practices. This is a black market; your deal is whatever you two negotiate and are comfortable with. From my perspective, I don't know how people go on extended dates with someone they barely know (a few hours counts as "barely") - as you found out, she was over you and the trip by the second day, and it could easily have gone the other way (ex. "after spending a whole day together, I realized she was actually really annoying"). I suggest going on trips only after seeing each other regularly for a period of time and building up to it by spending increasingly longer amounts of time together.

You had such a bad experience I would have thought you would have soured on this sort of thing.

I have never done the vacation thing or even the overnight thing. Just too much shit that can go wrong plus I just need my down time and privacy.  

And you really didn't do everything you could to minimize the risk. Meeting her for several hours just isn't enough, imo. And you even had a red flag when you did meet her with your misgivings.

Look, I'm not telling you to never do it again, but do much more homework and don't lock yourself in to one girl. Consider 4 or 5 and weed all but one out based on your time together, how much they ask for deposit, etc.

Also, are you pm'ing her guys? Several of them may have vacationed with her and would be more likely to tell you the truth bc.

too nice.  She definately took advantage of you.  I think she knew you were a Newbie & took advantage.  Overnights generally include at least a couple of romps daily...  separated by some recovery time...  perhaps dinner...  or bedtime & wake up.  So if she didn't "feel like it" at least daily is a scam...  to be blunt, you are PAYING HER to be 'in the mood'.   I don't know what you paid but I'll assume you weren't stingy as you also gifted her freely.  
It's tacky but some do discuss (in private, face to face) just what expectations they have.  Some might have a business confrence where she'll have time to herself or sight-seeing.  Play time expectations would be able to be discussed.  
Now, I'll ask, it was clear that this was a paid date, not a no strings attached date.  In my younger dayes, I took civie gals on weekends obiviously hoping to get lucky but with mixed results.  Probably not the best plan.  
This little game we play is built on trust.  We lay down the envolupe & trust that the services will be delivered.  Contracts for illegal services can not be enforced...    Still, it's really not possible to control.  If she says No, you can not force her.  And once she has the money, there's no incentive to perform...  but she'll probably not aggree to your withholding part of the payment until a satisfactory conclusion.  (With normal provider dates, advance deposits are discouraged for just this reason.)  
I think this should certtainly be reviewed.  

Now as for your review problem...  Newbies reviewing Newbies is discouraged...  frequently held as you have experienced.    IF you review an already reviewed provider, there should be no problem with the review posting.  Then resubmit your other reviews.

We all have our desires and dreams of the perfect time with a great lady, however to go blind into a situation is not really very smart....

I have done that once and it did work out, but that was a long time ago and I would not plan something like that with a unknown friend.  

Plan this kind of date out.  See if you do enjoy her company and she is what you are looking for by having a couple of normal length dates prior to a overnight or a vacation date.

I have done many overnights and several vacation dates over the years and had a blast on every one of them.  However they have ALL been with ladies I have known for a while and we both had a good time because we knew what to expect and were comfortable with each others company.  As I said in the 20 plus years I have been in the hobby I have only ONE time set up a overnight with a new to me lady.  I got very lucky and we had a great time, however we did correspond and talk several times before I met her at the airport for the date.  

Just use good judgment and be sure that you both are going to have a great time together.  Remember the amount of fun you are going to have is related to how comfortable your lady feels in your company!

-- Modified on 10/18/2014 11:49:10 PM

cdw, Did you 'build your rapor' with the lady over a couple of previous provider dates?   I would not consider an overnight or longer unless we'd had at least a couple of hour long sessions completed to my satisfaction...  and how was she beyond the hour?  Did she rush you out?  (A hint that she's not much into you).  I've had gals invite me to stay & chat, though we both took our time getting dressed...    
Maybe a better stratigy would be a single hour...  then perhaps a multi-hour...  a single overnight, all prior to a long weekend.   For what you spent in gifts alone, I could book several hour long meetings.  
I can't help but think of a guy who's employer flew him to Florida on business...  since he was already there, he paid to fly his GF down & they did Disney.  He put the whole thing on his CC.  She was gone a few months later but it took him a couple of years to pay off the CC nut.  I hope he got off every night...  but I rather doubt it.    
One last thought...  Did she perhaps get her period?  If so, what's wrong with a lollipop solution?    

Hour or 2 dates are standard fare...  extended dates are not.  A good understanding ought to be established as to what the plans are.  As I said Business, sightseeing, shopping, dinners, shows, and play timie...  and sleep time...  some are grumpy about having their sleep schedule disturbed.  Some might have sleep issues (like snoring or CPAP) requiring even separate beds...  sometimes a suite is booked...  so she can sleep separate but typically gets back into bed with you in the morning, well rested...  for morning play time.   She might want private time...  for toilet or makeup or for a safety checkin with home.  (She should NOT be booking dates during your tiime.)  Some might be ok with a second romp in the middle of the night...  others not.  

In the end, I think she played a Newbie for her gain.

Hey Harbor:

she is actually not a newbie. She has 3 pages of reviews which all give her good reviews.  

You are right. I also should have communicated my expectations to her, but honestly, a couple of romps per day seems by default. It should be pretty obvious and not need communicating.  

We were doing all the sight seeing together during that time.  

I see you have another post below and will respond to that separately.

Thanks for the reply.

The thing is I have never really been active in this industry. I'm usually in monogamous relationships and have been in 4 steady serious relationships for quite some time with little celibacy in between (and that is in the brief moments of celibacy when I first started this).  

So it really is down my to newness in this.  

The thing is, I also find it VERY difficult to find someone who fits what I am looking for, physically and appearance wise.

I just never been in this long enough to garner the rapport you have with these ladies. I did spend 2 separate sessions with her and for me that is more than I have ever spent with anyone girl .. because I eventually fall into a relationship with civilians.

Thanks again for all the input. It all comes down to me just not having been in this for very long nor having the experience to build a rapport to the extent you all advise.

I guess I would do it again because I'm just trying to fill a void in my celibacy ... I am willing to learn from my previous mistakes to atleast attempt one more encounter that is more rewarding. Yea, I just haven't been in this long enough to have screened/seen many women.

I did not PM her reviews. I don't have VIP but from the number of messages I got that might be something i need to acquire.
Thanks again.

Our previous 1 hour encounters were not rushed. I had much better encounters with providers and even civilians and i think that was the possible alarm bell.

She did not rush me out. We hung around for a tad afterwards.  

Thanks for informing me about the possibility that sleeping separate may be necessary. Normally I prefer our legs and bodies to cuddle and be entangled in dormancy.

But some simply can not for various good reasons.  If one is know to snore for instance...   I move around & am up in the night so sleeping together would be an exercise in fulility.  If sleeping separate, one will move just before going off to sleep & return early the next morning, to cuddle.  It would be discussed in advance, brought up by the person with the issue, options presented to solve it.  Maybe she's a sound sleeper (most Mom's are light sleepers) or wears ear plugs?    

For extended dates, where we're askng a gal to block off a large chunk of time when she could be working & earning is the exception to the no deposit guideline...  which is why, we want previous dates to reduce the risk.  Which you have clarified that you did do.  

I don't see that you did anything wrong.  Your risk was higher because of the length of the encounter.  I'm sorry it didn't work out for you the way you...  and I...  would have expected.    

I don't know if it will do any good...  but if she works for an agency...  I might call & chat with the manager.  Explain things in the kindest & gentlest terms...  not requesting a refund or anything but to learn what you did wrong or could do differently.  I suspect that the agency (if it isan agency)  will not want to lose you as a customer & might make an accomidation or future discount.  

With this sour after-taste, I'll not be in a hurry to book such an event again.

escort and this is why.

last two nights she didnt want it? F that! that is what you're paying her for!  

Also, I often see  the "but i'm young and  in shape... " line of reasoning when an escort doesnt meet expectations.

get that thought out of your mind. most ladies dont care about it.  

she gave you no indication she'd be the type to do this to you?  

you thought you got along well and were a good match right?