I am new and had a few questions about how to ask if the provider will do certain things before hand I understand there is a need for descrestion and with leo on both sides of the deal but.  Between Leo's and scame chicks it's hard. The term open minded is thrown around a lot or gfe but this is also subjective.  I guess I just like to know what I'm getting and get what I want out of the deal I don't think that's horible nobody is forcing anyone on either side thanks for your help.

Also you can back channel with reviewers. Don't let your little head make decisions for you. It a provider doesn't have a menu that matches your tastes, just move on.

I know that some people don't want to fork out the money to get VIP- but, if you consider all the times that you are going to have to guess and pay a provider and not get what you want- you are actually saving money.  

So- I would definitely always keep VIP and read all of her reviews. Usually when guys ask me if I do a particular service, I tell them that if they read my reviews- they are accurate. I always make sure to check and make sure that my profile is accurate. And going through and reading the juicy details is a good idea.  

You can also check and see if any of her reviewers are active members on the boards, and they will usually be happy to answer any questions that you have over pm.  

I don't know about other ladies, but I offer Web Chats and Coffee meets, for those who like to move slowly. Which of course, are for a donation, but it isn't as high as a private meeting. So- you still have to be verified for this, and usually at that point, I am comfortable discussing things a little bit more. BUT I don't know if many other ladies do this.  

There are also kind of ways to say things without being vulgar, but that hopefully one can read between the lines. So, like if someone asks me something like  "Oh well do you do such and such service" then I will say something like "I can't answer that question specifically, but I can tell you from what we've talked about so far- I am confident you will be pleased with the experience that I offer" I hope that helps you some.

you should not have to ask her anything.  First of all, read the self help center, link above under the life preserver.  Second, get VIP if you do not already have it, trust me, it's worth it.  You need it to read the juicy details in reviews, as mentioned by hiddenhills.  You can also PM other reviewers and find out stuff via backchannel.  Remember, you can look for providers anywhere, but you got to do the research on her, just as she has to screen you.  If you can't find out what you want to know, as suggested by hh, move on.  If you start asking providers about services she offers, you will likely get hung up on or just the cold shoulder.  There's plenty out there that will have what you want.

After you read the self help center, come back here and ask questions.

Swim

I don't have Vip was testing the waters the issue is there isn't a lot of reviews or positive reviews on this website for my area  
And a high number of adds. Not sure if they are fake scames or just untested. this site is very user friendly when I google there numbers I always get other sites that seem to be links to other pay sites and I don't want to join 5 sites so I can find out if I can go greek or bet a good bj wasn't sure if there was an acceptable way to discuss. Thank you for your help

I have also had girls say the web chats are mandatory and there is a fee of 10-30 bucks this is a scam correct?

Sure sounds like a scam to me.

Look, by asking a lady about specific "services," you're essentially asking her to incriminate herself. It doesn't matter what sort of codespeak you use (to me, asking "is Greek food on your menu?" is the same as asking "can I fuck you in the ass?"), it's just not smart on anyone's part to discuss anything sexual. Not only is that kind of language incriminating, but it's also incredibly tacky.

As everyone else has said, just get VIP. It's going to help you tremendously in the long run. Also, I'm not sure where you're located, but there are well-reviewed ladies just about everywhere.  

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Yes that seems to be the best idea I am I nice guy just looking to have some fun there are some reviewed girls but it seems most on the sites I've searched are not leaving me even with VIP not knowing. is it ok to ask gfe? Even if it's a limited menu Id like to not just have a quick slam and go.  I don't want to be rude to anyone.  Shoukd I just wave off any girl not reviewd on here I mean someone has to go first thank you for feed back

That term still implies sexual activity and any lady who takes safety and discretion seriously will not answer such inquiries. In a best case scenario, you'll be speaking with a sweetheart like Jamie (who responded above) who will simply decline to answer and will direct you to her reviews. Me personally? I go into total bitch mode when I'm asked things like that and I'll politely (or not so politely, if he's particularly graphic) tell him to fuck off. Alternatively, in the worst case scenario, the person on the other end is simply setting you up to scam/rob/arrest you.  

Furthermore (and correct me if I'm wrong here), it sounds as though you're mostly perusing BackPage. While there's nothing wrong with that in and of itself, a lot of the ads on there appear alluring, but a lot of the time you're setting yourself up for disappointment. You're just not going to have a mind-blowing experience with a megahottie for $80. Having VIP on TER is a very small investment in the long run.  

Yes on Bp and I mean I get that yo an extent you get what you pay for and I have seen multiple pics for same chick pop up on there and like I said I'm not trying to offend anyone im learning haha. I live in gainseville there are 38 reviewed girls in gvile next town over has less so you take away bad reviews and African American ( not being a dick just not my thing) then some that just don't interest me I am left with either paying a crazy outcall fee from jax or driving 2 hours which seems to take the fun and ease out of this. I know that most of the Bp girls are "below par" a lot of times but I'm not sure where else to look another question I had thank you

but I've made the mistake of believing this was standard practice, so BE CAREFUL.  Others like Tobi are more guarded and have every right to be.  If their website specifically says not to do it, then don't.  If they do not specifically address this issue on their website, I've found it helpful to ask their permission before venturing into sensitive territory.  Some providers are remarkably open about what they offer once you are screened, but DO NOT assume this will be the case

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Thanks for sharing that comment about African American women. Right, you are not a dick.

I didn't go through the whole list, but this lady is both well reviewed and local to you:

right that's the mixed messages I've recived some seem to almost seem to be fine with any questions some aren't I didn't know if there was any industry standard

WEB chats & such are scams...  might not even be a gal & if it is, you'll never meet her!   And you risk your Credit Card number.  Monday you'll be trying to get the false charges reversed & a new Credit Card number.
Don't even think about it!

I was just saying it was not my thing I have a type is that wrong that They don't intreage me?

Haha thank you for taking so much of an interest

If someone has a specific question, I tell them that my website is very thorough and almost all of their questions can be answered by reading my website. If the inquiry is coming from someone who is a TER member, I tell them to read my reviews.  

Once someone is screened to my liking, I don't have much issue discussing particular things, so long as the discussion is respectful and discreet. Most clients will ask if specific discussion is allowed, and I always appreciate that.

If a lady is GFE, it will state that in her reviews, and should be reflected by her rates (this isn't always the case, but ladies who provide GFE services are generally more expensive than those who don't). You shouldn't have to ask.

First off...how do you know?  Have you had experience with Even one AA lady?  And if you have, why assume 1 is indicative of the rest if you had a less than great experience?

Second, don't limit yourself by excluding a type based on skin color. For me, race is not a factor.  Some of my favorite experiences have been with women that are a different skin color from me.  They are exotic and different and wonderful.  There are beautiful aspects of each type of woman...just gotta look

Third, if it's not your thing, no need to advertise it.  If you have to, state your positive preferences vs your do-not-see list.  When you state things in the positive, it's harder to be viewed as a racist...but still possible the more overtly you mention race.  For my preferences, I prefer to be more discreet about things that eliminate a lady from my consideration.  No one will force me to see someone I don't want to see. No reason to advertise my do-not-see qualities. Having said that...not going to be a hipocrite...I do have things I don't like and I will not see women with certain characteristics.  But, I just don't advertise what those things are.  No one is going to challenge you for not seeing a particular lady.  There is simply nothing gained by saying "I don't see AA ladies" publicly.  Further, it adds nothing to this thread whatsoever.  

Finally, "...it was not my thing I have a type is that wrong that They don't intreage me?"

This is the part I find most potentially offensive. Every person on this planet is interesting.  If you don't find them interesting, that says more about you...not them.  I'm going give you a grain of grace in that it doesn't appear English is your first language.  You may be trying to say something else.  So, take this more as a word of caution...language like this can get you labeled a racist.  

I encourage you to reconsider your stated preferences...there are all manner of interesting, sexy, and beautiful women out there. Why limit the field?  Enjoy them all as much as is possible

I am a newbie in a similar situation living about 90 minutes from Houston, TX.  Yes there are a few local girls on Backpage plus a few more in nearby towns, but my feeling is first, I don't want to be renting hotels in my home town, nor go visiting an incall only to meet a coworker or acquaintance of S.O. in an apartment complex.  Therefore I make the trip to Houston, where the chance of discovery is slim to none.  Yes there's a great opportunity cost, but the cost of discovery is far greater.  One thing good about being in a small town is you can't get by strictly on goods and services offered there so an occasional trip to the big city doesn't raise eyebrows.

As has been repeated over and over, PAY THE MONEY!!!  Just to hobby requires a significant amount of discretionary income.  Paying a few dollars more for membership will just about ensure you get the type of girl and the level of service you desire.  Heck, I like fishing the Gulf of Mexico but I doubt I would have much success without the investment I have made in books, maps, and networking with like minded people.  You may also have to join more than one website to get all the information you need, although as far as honest help is concerned, this site is one of the best.

thank you for your critique, the point I was making is there are few reviewed providers in my area and fewer once you take away AA that don't interest me. Not for any reason other then just not my thing. I do have horible grammer and I'm dyslexic and do most of this on my phone so that is not a real excuse but there it is. Many of the woman's adds state they don't see aa men it's there choice as its mine no need to call Al Sharpton haha. I don't care or judge anyone just saying.

Yes I know this is an expensive hobby and to an extent you get what you pay for but I also don't want to just hand out tons of cash just hopeing for a good time.

The problem with backpage is that you will never know until you lay your money down as >90% will not discuss services.  Of the remaining 10%, I would cull that entire group.  Your only other hope is to subscribe to as many review sites as you can find to maximize your chances of finding reviewed providers.  Most have fairly decent search engines where you can look up a provider by name, e-mail, or phone number.

Like I said, I have a similar situation.  I just decided not to go local at all and make the drive to the big city to obtain whatever flavor I'm in the mood for, which includes type of girl AND services provided, knowing in advance that as long as I'm not rude my fantasies will be fulfilled.  So far, I haven't been disappointed (knock on wood).

Yes I pay more, yes three hours in a car sucks, but so far, no disappointments and the memories of what happened that hour or two last a lifetime (ok, maybe a few days).

If you choose to stay with local backpage girls though, be sure to post reviews (you at least get free VIP days) and include the town where the service was provided.  The next guy will be glad you did!