No, that is not normal at all.  Providers are not generally looking for a potential spouse here, but someone who will pay them generously for their time.  Can't recall anyone having a similar experience to yours.

Swim

i joined this sight today and have no experience in this community.  i have read all of the manuals, but i have a very serious question about appropriate conversation topics with a provider.  i hope that a provider may also be able to answer this question.

i contacted a provider for the first time and we had a series of phone conversations that lasted 4 to 5 hours and culminated in her casually mentioning marriage.  is this normal?  what should i make of this?  this seems unusual to me, but i have not had any other experiences?

thank you

RUN don't WALK!!!!!!! Don't be a fool man...

The first point is the fact that a provider whom you just contacted for the first time was willing to engage in 4-5 hours of phone conversation is by itself VERY unusual. Most ladies whom you have not seen will engage in enough conversation to make sure you are a legitimate client and to confirm the details (i.e. time/place) of your appointment. Then, they may engage in 15 seconds worth of phone conversation at your appointment time so they may give you the exact location. Yes, there are some ladies who may wish to talk a little more (for their own comfort) with you even after screening you; but 4-5 hours worth???? This is not a dating service. The provider is not here to learn the ins and outs of your character and personality. I don't think I have had 4-5 hours in totality of phone conversation over my entire hobbying career.

The second point that is strange is a conversation about marriage. If she is talking about marrying you, run...very fast. If she is talking about marrying her current significant other, she is prob. giving you a blatant hint that your relationship with her will be business and business only. Yes, provider/hobbyist relationships should all be business only, but there are times when men try to extend and cross boundaries. But again, for a provider you just contacted, ANY discussion of marriage seems odd and out of place. If you and the lady had seen each other in the past and wanted to open up with each others about more serious topics (marriage would be such a topic), okay, more understandable. But a first time provider/client relationship??? Defies logic.

My suggestion is to contact a few other providers and see how they interact with you. Chances are most ladies will only want to engage in the initial "off the clock" conversation enough to make sure you are a reputable client. Nothing more.

It is off putting as I don't want to think about my wife as I screw someone else. Even though I have my wifes blessing to see providers, it somehow feels like cheating. Guilt is not good for the erection. I don't think the lady was looking for marriage but asking him about his. Not cool for a lady to pry but it happens.

As foe the OP talk about anything you want but don't pry into the providers personal life (SO, kids, real name, other place of work, or anything like that.) or business of providing unless she initiates the topic. Many ladies like to keep there privet life privet and talking about things like other clients or how many just is not cool. Questions like "Why did you decide to provide? Was it because you where molested as a child?" are especially bad as it is very personal, is about privet life stuff, and deals with the providers business. My wife complains about that question every time some clueless guy asks it. Yes, she is a provider.

hardy and swim

thank you for the insight. your responses where on point.  yes, she brought up marriage to me, not whether i was married or her getting married to her significant other. she is a very inelligent lady whom i had planned to fly in from another country.  she is what i beleive is referred to as a "high dollar hottie."

i assumed the length of the conversations had to do with the distace and wanting to get to know me before making a commitment to travel.  however, she would call me every few nights for almost 5 weeks and it was in the last week, after maybe 12 conversations that lasted on average 4 hours, that she brought up being married to me.

I am utterly confused!

you were looking for phone sex or a wife.  Seriously, ladies generally do not talk more than a few minutes at a time in order to verify their comfort level with you.

thank you scoed.

I assume she lives, or is a citizen of a country that is less than appealing, and she is looking for a ticket to the land of the "big BX". She wants to marry you to become a US citizen.

Stay away...

Yeah, I thought of that too. She's looking for a home in the USA.

And you have not even seen you yet. Run, something is way off.

Might also be a scam. Get you to send her money to buy a ticket, bail her mother out of jail, etc. You may never see her.

i want to thank everyone for the replies and insights.

I think its bad to be untrusting and suspicious. If you spent all that time talking to her on the phone then you must have built some trust and rapport. You probably like eachother. If you arent interested in that kinda dealing then it shouldnt be about running for the hills or stopping contact with this women. People have all sorts of notions and motives. Simply state you arent interested in anything she might be offering beyond what you want. Thats it....i wouldnt take the advice of ignoring or stopping contact.

And also... people marry immigrants all the time for money. So its not some weird taboo forbidden thing to ask another. Just say no and continue with the other aspect of your relationship.